“She easily understood at that young age?”
“Yes, and I was surprised too, to be honest. Who would have thought that at such a young age, she would be the one to make us realize what we have to do? She talked to me and told me to find what my heart truly wants, where I will be happy. And then I told her I couldn’t because I was thinking about her. I don’t want her to grow up without a complete family, but do you know what she said to me?”
I looked straight into him.
“What was it?”
“She said that just because her parents are divorced doesn’t mean her family is no longer complete. Even though her father and I are separated, we will still be her parents… Luke as her father and me as her mother and nothing will change that.”
I bit my lower lip, blinking repeatedly as I felt the tears forming around my eyes.
“Whoa!” I let out a loud sigh to calm myself because I knew that at any moment my tears would get in the way. “She was the bravest girl I have ever known. Honestly, I don’t know what I did right in my life or even in my past life to give me this kind of blessing… to have a daughter like Cali.”
“Because you’re a good person. You’re a good mother, Sam.”
“Do you think so?”
“Yes, I witnessed that when we were together. You always thought of her first and her future.”
I just smiled and took a bite of the garlic bread on my plate.
“So, was it why you came back to New York?”
“Well, kinda,” I shrugged as I chuckled. “I want a fresh start. New surroundings, new beginnings, and everything.”
“Does the fresh start and new beginnings that you’re talking about include finding the right one?”
“Hmm… maybe— I don’t know, let’s see.” I gave him a shrug. “This time I want the sure thing. My constant and a love that stays for life. Chooses me. Everyday.” I was looking straight into his eyes while saying those words… those same eyes that used to look at me with love, care, and devotion back then, but I chose to let go.
“What if you have already found that someone?”
“What do you mean?” I couldn’t help but frown.
“That you have already met him and talked to him? What if he’s just around you, it’s just that you just don’t notice because you’re too busy—”
A loud chuckle broke out my lips before he could even continue what he was saying.
“That’s impossible!” And I laughed again. A fake one even though I knew what he said was true enough.
Yes, I have already found the one, the right person, but the sad part is… now he’s no longer the right one for me as he also has already found who’s right for him.
“Right now, I’m not looking for him. I believe that when it’s for me, it’s for me. I don’t need to look or search for that someone because I know that when the time is right, he will come and knock on my door and when that happens, I will welcome him with open arms and never let him go… ever.”
“For sure, it will happen,” Were the only words he said.
“I know,” I nodded with a smile. “Anyway, do you mind if I also ask something about you?”
“Oh, no, sure! What is it?” He put down the glass of wine and waited for what I was going to ask him.
“Uhm…” I suddenly hesitated to ask the question that had been bugging me since I met him the last time.
“Come on, you can ask me anything,” he urged.
“How long have you and Tanya been together?” And there… I threw the bomb!
His mouth suddenly dropped open… a sign that he was surprised by what I had asked.
“I… I’m sorry,” I apologized immediately upon seeing the shock and hesitation in his eyes. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t feel comfortable. It’s alright.”
But then he flashed me a wide smile that made me suddenly confused.
“Well, we’ve been together for a year and a half now.”
“A year and a half?” I asked, my voice came out a bit loud. I suddenly felt as if a thousand knives were stabbing my heart. So does that mean it’s only been 6 months then but he’s already moved on and found someone else right away? Ouch!
“Yup, she’s good at her job and is always on time,”
“Oh, what I mean is that… how long have you been in a relationship?” I asked again to clarify what I meant.
But the smile he gave me made me want to melt down in my seat. I had never seen him smile like that for someone else back then, but now it seemed like I had to accept defeat and another heartache again.
“Hmm… less than a year?”
“Why do you seem unsure?”
“It’s not that I’m not sure, but you girls know, you want even the first day you meet to be counted too.”
“Ahh… well…” were the only words I said. “Anyway, thanks for coming and for the flowers.” After hearing what he said, I felt like I lost interest in asking him anything personal again as the knives stuck in my chest grew more and more every time he answered my question.
“Do you have plans for the weekend?”
That question suddenly left me speechless for a few seconds. Did I hear him right?
“Uhm… I can’t think of anything to do yet, why?”
“Well, if you’re free on Saturday or Sunday, can I invite you…?” I raised an eyebrow, waiting for what he would say next. “Can I invite you for lunch?”
“Lunch? Are you serious?”
“Yes,” He nodded. “It’s not actually the ‘lunch’ that’s in your head… you know, the lunch date… it’s uhh… how do I say this?”
I tried to keep my insides calm as I continued to watch him explain.
“I have a friend who will host a free consultation and feeding program at one of the foundations he is helping—”
“And who’s friend of yours is that?” I asked, cutting him off because maybe I might know the friend he was referring to.
“It’s Francis Smith—”
My eyes went wide and again, I excitedly interrupted him.
“Francis Smith? You mean Francis, your classmate in medical school?”
“Whoa! Do you still remember him?”
“Of course! Remember, I met him multiple times! During your birthday, New Year, and a few events in the hospital!”
“I thought you don’t remember him anymore,”
“How could I not remember him, when he was with you when we first met! He was the first to laugh when he saw you drenched with coffee—” Oops! I stopped right away. I didn’t even realize that I was already reminiscing about the day we first met.
“Yeah, you still remember him,” He said nodding and having the widest grin he could ever give me that day. “So, is it a yes?”
“What about Tanya? Will she be there too?” I asked, instead of answering his questions.
“She will be in Japan at that time and—”
“Wait! Wait!” I stopped him with my hand in the air. “I’m sorry, but are you just inviting me over the weekend because your girlfriend will be out of town? David, are you serious? I’m your ex-girlfriend, how do you think your girlfriend would feel if she found out that you and I were meeting behind her back?”
“Sam, it’s not what you think.” He shook his head as he reached for my hand on the table. “Tanya knows everything about us—”
“And she’s okay with that?” I continued to interrupt him because if it were me, of course, I wouldn’t want my man to meet or even see his past woman.
“Yes, it will be fine with her.”
“David?”
“It’s not a date, Sam!”
Five words. Five words that made me stop. It was only five words but enough to kill my hope and confidence.
“We’re not going there for a date, so I don’t see anything wrong with it, besides, Francis had become your friend too. Honestly, he knew you were back to New York and wanted to see you.”
I just took a deep breath. The hesitation continued to play in my head.
“Francis knew I was here— was it because you told him?”
“Yes, when we met last week.”
“Ahh…” And again, I sighed.
“So?”
It took me a few seconds to finally gather my thoughts.
“Okay,” I nodded. “I’m coming with you,”
He didn’t say anything this time… he just smiled and nodded before taking his glass of wine while I, started to bother myself by consuming the rest of the food on my plate.