75

I watched in amusement as the guys each bid Carter, Mahalia and myself good night before scrambling to their respective sleeping quarters. As the last one rounded the corner, I turned my attention back to Mahalia and slowly took in her disheveled state. Her hair was a little grayer than when I left, her eyes rimmed with dark circles, and her cheeks thinner.
Mahalia, I whispered as guilt filled my soul.
Mahalia walked quietly to where Carter held me next to him. She looked up to him and as he stepped back, Mahalia wrapped me in her arms, her quiet sobs causing my heart to break.
I wrapped my my arms around the woman and buried my head into her chest as tears filled my eyes. I held her tight as I softly whispered, I’m so sorry Mahalia. I’m so, so sorry.
She pulled back and ran her thumbs under my cheeks, Don’t you ever scare me like that again Child.
I shook my head, I won’t. I promise.
Mahalia smiled and stepped back as Carter stepped back up and picked me up once more. I let out a huff of annoyance as he spoke affectionately to the elderly woman, I’m going to get her settled in for the night. We’ll see you at brunch tomorrow.
Mahalia nodded and as Carter turned toward the sleeping quarters, I peeked over his shoulder and sent her an apologetic smile, See you in a bit.
Henry walked up and put his arm around Mahalia, Come, you two can catch up in the morning My Lovely. Mahalia turned and folded herself into her husband’s embrace.
As we rounded the corner to the hall where our rooms were, Carter stopped just outside the door to my room. I clutched his shirt and tensed in his arms, causing Carter to pull his brows together and shift me slightly as he searched my face, What’s wrong ?
I was quiet as I debated on how to answer his question.
Lea, what’s wrong ? I could sense Carter’s growing panic.
Can I stay with you ? My voice was small, timid, and unsure.
Carter nodded as his eyes flashed an array of emotions. Lea, he paused as he pressed a kiss to my forehead, you can stay with me for as long as you would like.
Carter walked us to his room and I reached out, pushing the door open as nervousness started to creep through me.
What the hell do you have to be nervous about ? my mind asked as Carter made his way to the bed.
Being here this time feels different, I answered myself as he lowered me onto the mattress.
I twiddled my thumbs and played with the hem of my shirt as Carter disappeared into the closet. He held out one of his tee shirts and a pair of my sweats. I shook my head as heat started to spread through my body.
Lea you need to change.
No, I don’t.
I looked up and met Carter’s eyes. He tilted his head to the side, a confused look taking over. You can’t sleep in what you have on. I’ll leave and come back in a few minutes.
As Carter dropped the shirt and sweats onto the bed and turned to leave, I reached out my hand and caught his wrist. He stopped and half turned, looking from me to his wrist and back into my eyes.
I held his gaze as I spoke softly, my quivering voice barely audible, I don’t need to change because I thought that maybe you could show me more.
Carter closed his eyes and took several deep breaths.
I carefully stood and stepped in front of him, placing one hand on his chest and the other on his cheek. Carter, please look at me.
Carter opened his eyes and reached up, brushing a strand of my hair back from my face. He started to speak, but I pressed a finger to his lips.
You asked me the morning after you took me to Insomniac how I feel about you. I searched Carter’s face and found his fears hiding just below the surface of his steel orbs. I need you to know tonight, before I close my eyes, the answer to that question.
Carter tilted his head and brushed his fingers down the side of my neck and over my shoulder, his movements slow and tender as if I was a fragile doll. And how do I make you feel Lea ?
Safe.
And ? He skimmed his palm down my arm.
Accepted.
Carter wrapped his arm around my waist, And ?
Needed.
Carter leaned in next to my ear, And ?
Heat pooled in the pits of my stomach, Wanted.
Carter placed soft kisses along my jawline, And ?
And, I met Carter’s eyes unable to speak the last word I felt, unsure if he felt the same.
Loved ? Carter asked hopefully as he softly cupped my chin and fully turned my face to meet his.
I slowly looked up and nodded, Loved.
Carter crashed his lips to mine. The kiss was hungry, needy, and full of raw passion.
I let go of all the bitterness I had, all the reservations and all the guilt. Even if just for this one moment, I needed this. I needed to be here.
And I needed Carter.
I tangled my hands in his hair and gasped as he gently laid me back on the bed. He slowly slid his tongue over my lips asking for permission to deepen the kiss. I parted my lips in response and our breaths became one as we explored each other.
He kept one hand on the bed as he pulled back and gazed down at me, once again brushing my hair out of my face, Are you sure this is what you want, Lea ? That I am who you want ?
I clutched Carter’s shirt in my hands, Absolutely.
Carter smirked and moved from over me, stepping back and grabbing the bottom of his shirt and lifting it over his head.
I let my eyes trail over his chest, his stomach, and followed his v-lines from his sides to where they disappeared under the edge of his jeans.
Holy shit, I breathed out.
He ran his hand down his body, I do believe that I told you once already, Lea, no one can resist this.
I looked up and met Carter’s searing gaze. I licked my dry lips and my eyes narrowed as I pointed to Carter, my finger bobbing up and down, I better be the only one unable to resist that from here on out.
Carter’s deep chuckle sounded as he pulled me up from the bed, Jealous much ?
He pressed his lips to my neck and I let out a sigh as tilted my head allowing him access my sensitive skin, Only as much as you are.
I take it we have an understanding then. Carter’s gaze burned through me.
I nodded and took a deep breath as I felt Carter’s hands slide under the back of my shirt, his fingers leaving a trail of goosebumps as he slowly raised the tee up and over my body.
Mm. He dropped my shirt to the floor and let his fingers dance over my exposed skin. So beautiful, His words were barely audible as he hooked a thumb in the waist band of my jeans.
I clasped his shoulders as his fingers swiftly worked to rid my body of the denim fabric. As he slowly slid the material down my legs, his eyes landed on the tender scar on my upper thigh. Carter dropped to one knee and circled my hips with his arms as he pulled me close and placed a gentle kiss on the healed wound. As the jeans landed in a pile at my feet, I carefully lifted each leg while Carter moved them to the side.