LUCIUS DEVINE
It was all over. My head was throbbing. My heart was aching and my fists were clenched tightly.
I was standing at the balcony, a hopeless look on my face. No, I wasn’t fucking hopeless. I was going to get Lisa back. She was mine and I was hers. And not even this would tear us apart forever.
“Fuck!” I cursed, throwing the glass of beer in my hand across the wall.
“You bastard!” I yelled at my own self, grabbing the bottle of beer and throwing it across the wall too.
“If only I hadn’t killed Seb!” I wanted to hit myself. I wanted to hurt myself.
I made Lisa cry. I was the reason she was hurting both physically and emotionally. I wanted to be the man behind her smiles and laughter but instead, this was what I turned out to be.
A man who made her shed tears uncontrollably and still couldn’t let her go.
I was selfish and I could never get over my selfishness when it came to Lisa. I could not let go of her.
I would do anything and everything to make her forgive me and love me even more.
Taking slow steps towards the shards of glasses, I crouched down next to it and picked a shard. I stared at the sharp glass for a few seconds before pressing it into my wrist.
The pains from it only made me feel better. It felt better knowing that I was bleeding after hurting Lisa.
If I could kill myself and yet be with her, I would have preferred to kill myself as a punishment for hurting her that much. I had failed to protect her and I had also failed woefully at keeping the secret of Seb’s death.
I was going to try hard to get her back but would Lisa ever…. Would she ever come back to me and love me as much?
MONALISA
As my mum pulled away from the hug and got onto her feet, I got on my feet too.
I didn’t want her to confront Lucius.
“Mum” I called, grabbing her wrist.
“Let go of me” mum seethed.
“Mum! That man is dangerous” the words left my lips faster than I expected them to.
But it wasn’t a lie. Lucius was dangerous. He had killed my father and Irene and definitely a lot more people.
“I don’t… I don’t want to lose you too” I pulled her close to me and mum buried her face in my shoulder, gently crying for a while before pulling away and wiping her tears.
She looked away from me for a few seconds, took in a deep breath and looked back at me.
“It’s… It is fine” she mumbled and reached her hand to my face, wiping my tears away.
“It’s fine. We will just leave here. We will leave this place. I… I can’t believe that he did this to us. I can’t believe he took care of us all these years when he was the one who put us in a hard situation in the first place” I could feel the pain in mum’s voice and I knew she was just trying to be strong right now.
“We are going to leave him and everything he gave to us! I… I can’t even stand the presence of this place right now!” She took in another deep breath, looked you, keeping her tears in check.
“I don’t want to pick anything from this place. Almost everything here was from his money! I don’t have anything to pick. Do you want to pick anything?” Mum asked me, cupping my face.
“No” I choked out with a simple shake of my head.
I didn’t want anything he gave to me too but I wanted to look at my room one more time.
“I will take a bath” I whispered.
“Alright. We will leave in an hour. I will book a hotel room for us for tonight” mum said and as I walked past her, climbing up the stairs that led up to the rooms, I could hear her sobbing again.
I hated Lucius for making my mum cry! I hated him for making me feel so horrible! I hated him with every bit of me!
“I hate you, I hate you!” I screamed as I pushed the door of my room open and slammed it hard.
Everything in the room angered me! Especially the things he had personally gifted to me!
I looked away from it all, trying to contain the heart ache but as I walked past my mirror, I couldn’t help but stop.
I looked so dishevelled already. My hair was a mess and my face was red and swollen from crying. Staring at the mirror for longer made me recall that morning before the mirror when Lucius had pulled the scarf off my neck and and asked me to go without a scarf though I had his hickey on my neck.
I badly wanted to erase the memories. No, if I could. I would have wanted to reverse time back to the day I met him. To the day I broke up with Leon.
I shouldn’t have come home that night. I should have stayed over at a hotel and spent the night there.
“I regret meeting you, Lucius Devine!” I yelled at the mirror before going back down on my knees, clutching my chest.
“It hurts so much. It hurts so much” I soon buried my face in my knees.
Suddenly, I felt my stomach knot and I felt like I was going to puke. I pulled myself up to my feet and rushed to puke.
I threw up and rinsed my face, feeling so tired and almost lifeless.
All of the dreams I had with him. The dreams of us being a family and loving each other till the end. The dreams of us being the loveliest couple ever and cherishing each other. The dreams of us making beautiful kids.
All of it was shattered now. I would be stupid to love, date or marry the man who had killed my father and caused my family so much pains.
Even if that man had taken those pains away for years and even if that man was someone I had fallen in love with.
This was going to be the end of US.
From now on, I would have to exist on my own, without Devine and without the luxury he brought along. From now on, Devine would no longer be my man or a person I love or even lust after. He would be no one to me and even if he would be anyone to me, he would be an enemy. A person I would grow to hate and detest!
“It’s over, Devine”