MONALISA
I found myself standing in a field. I looked around and found nothing else other than the quite tall green grasses that spanned out as far as my sight could let me see.
I wanted to call out for someone or at least move but I found that I could not say a word or move an inch from where I was standing.
“Lisa” I heard a voice call from behind me and as I turned my neck to the right side, I found a man standing a bit away from me.
He had a small smile on his face. He looked familiar, very very familiar.
Then it hit me! My dad!
“Dad” I was suddenly able to speak.
“Dad, it… It is really you” the words left my mouth but he gave no response and just kept on smiling at me.
“Dad? I… I can’t move.”
He still said nothing and he didn’t move too. He just remained at the spot where he was and kept on smiling at me.
“Lisa” I soon heard another voice and when I turned to the other side, it was him, Lucius.
“Lucius!” I called.
“I can’t move and my dad, he… He is there. He is my dad, right?” I asked, wanting to be sure that my faint memories and images of him I had seen were not failing me in recognizing my dad.
Lucius said nothing but took steps towards me and in no time, he was standing right beside me.
“Lisa” he grabbed my arm and shook me.
“Lisa!” He called again but his voice sounded a bit more distinct this time.
*
“Lisa!” A loud call of my name woke me up.
I opened my eyes widely, feeling my heart slightly hammering in my chest. I had never ever dreamt of my dad before. Not when he died, not when I missed having a father badly, not when I wanted to badly know what it felt like to have both parents.
There were times I had really wanted to dream of him and see his face once and be able to call him. Tonight, it had finally happened but too much had happened too…
“Lisa, are you okay?” Lucius asked me, sitting me up with his hands on my shoulders.
“I will get you a glass of water” he stood up but I grabbed him by the wrist, stopping him from leaving.
“Lucius” I called and I saw the look in his eyes softened.
“Yes, love?”
He lowered himself back to sit beside me on the bed. I tightened my grip on his wrist, trying to brace myself for whatever I was going to hear.
“I… I want answers” the words came out, almost choked.
“Answers” Lucius pressed his lips into a thin line for a second.
My mind flashed back to the moment he shot at Irene and I felt my heart hurt. Even though Irene had aided that Sandro in kidnapping me, killing her was just way too much.
“Who are you?” I asked the first big question.
“And don’t lie to me” I added, trying to keep all the hurt and ache inside of me in check.
“You are not just a CEO, Devine. You have a gun. You have men who all have guns too, you are involved with… With that dangerous man who said things I just hope are…” I trailed off for a second.
“Things I hope are all lies.” I managed to finish my words.
For the next few seconds, there was pin drop silence in the room and it was broken by my sniffling.
“So… He said the truth. You… You are a mafia boss?” I wiped off the tears that rolled down my cheeks.
Who exactly did I truly know? Francesca, Irene, Leon and now Devine. Who exactly isn’t fucking hiding things from me?
“I stopped” Lucius said with a low voice.
“Tell me that is the only truth in all he told me. Please…” I was begging.
I didn’t want to hear that Devine, the man I had come to love so much and the man I believed loved me as much was the one who killed my father.
That was the last thing I wanted to hear. I wouldn’t be able to take that much. I had taken so much and I was willing to take a bit more but that part of it wasn’t a bit more. It was way too much.
“Please, Lucius” I released my grip on his wrist and grabbed his arm.
“Tell me that man was lying! Tell me you didn’t kill my father!” I screamed, my voice cracking and tears freely rolling down my cheeks.
My heart hurt and ached. My head throbbed and I felt sick immediately.
“You monster!! How could you?!” I yelled at him.
“Monalisa” he called my name fully and tried to cup my face but I swung his hands away.
“Don’t touch me! You murderer! You killed my father! You killed Irene! Who are you going to kill next? My mother?”
“I only got rid of Irene because she hurt you.” he said and I felt disgust.
This was the first time this man was making me feel all these negative emotions and I felt like I could shatter into a thousand pieces in front of him.
“And my father?!”
“I… I am sorry” he lowered his head for a second while I let the tears stream down.
He slowly reached for my hands and feeling very weak, I let him hold my hands in his.
“I did do it. I… I killed your father and I regret it. I wish I could go back in time and fix that mistake. I wish I had never done it. I wish I…”
“Your wishes would not bring back my father or erase all these pains!”
I couldn’t spend any more time in his bed.
I threw the sheets off me and as quickly as I could, got off the bed by the other side.
I raced to the door but before I could get to the door, his hand had grabbed my wrist.
“Don’t leave me, Lisa. I can’t fucking survive without you”
Those words only made the pain swell in my heart. The pains increased tremendously.
“Without you, I am… I am nothing. You are all that defines me now, Lisa. I am no one without you. Without you, I would stop existing”
“I don’t fucking care!” I screamed, trying to snatch my hand out of his but he held tightly onto me and pulled me into a tight hug.
“Let me go!” I sobbed.
“I would do anything. I would apologize a thousand times daily. A million times daily. I would do anything you want. Just don’t leave me, please!” He begged and I could hear the pain in his voice too but my own pains were wrecking me badly and I couldn’t think about his pains.
I sobbed into his chest for a few seconds before struggling to get out of his grip. As soon as he let go of me, I slapped him hard across the face.
“Your thousands and millions of apologies a day would not give me a life with a father or give my mum a life with her husband! You took him away from us! You murderer! You monster! I… I regret the day I met you! I… I regret ever loving you!” I ran out of the room, tears streaming down.
This was too much for me. Way too much. Could I have a different life? A life with genuine people and not the liars I surrounded myself with. Could I have a better life?