I sighed and pulled the covers up to my chin, turning to switch the small lamp on my night stand off but stopped when my phone buzzed. Reaching further over, I grabbed my phone and froze once I saw who it was from.
I had managed to ignore the thought of him all day with the help of Max, Jordan, Dustin, Tyler and Landon. Dustin and I had ended up baking cupcakes and had a small frosting war, which later led to a water fight, which later turned into a whole war between all of us. I was truly thankful for these guys around me, they really did make a difference.
I lay in my bed now, debating on opening the text. I wasn’t sure if I could deal with it, but curiosity got the best of me and I found myself unlocking my phone and opening up the conversation between us.
N I wish I could be there right now. I would catch the first plane back home and I have been struggling with this idea for the past three months. I would be there with you right now cheering you up and holding you in my arms. I would drop everything and come over there right now for you, trust me I would.. But something’s holding me back. I would tell you but it’s complicated.. I don’t want you to worry any more for me than you already are. Skylar, I love you and I truly do miss you. Please don’t be mad or upset, I can’t stand to have the thought of you hurting because I’m not there.. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I don’t know when I’ll come back, but when I do, I’ll make this all up to you. I love you.
By the time I finished reading his text message, I had tears in my eyes. I was shocked that he was still there for a reason, but it all made sense, why he wasn’t back here yet. I was left confused and guilty, not understanding what could be keeping him away from me and feeling remorseful for making him feel like a total jerk when he was anything but.
Wiping my tears away, I dialed up his number and waited impatiently as I sat up in bed now. I didn’t care if he was asleep or busy, this could not wait. He had said not to worry about him, and that had done nothing but make me worry even more.
He finally picked up on the last ring, his voice coming out tired. Skylar ?
Nathan, what’s going on ? I asked, getting straight to the point.
I heard some shuffling around, and then the sound of a door closing. What do you mean ? He asked innocently.
I mean the text you sent me. It’s complicated ? Don’t worry ? Really ? I don’t care how messed up the situation is, I wanna know what’s going on. What could possibly be holding you back from coming here ? I asked, gripping my phone tightly and listening intently.
I heard a sigh. I can’t… It’s… My dad. He finally answered, his voice coming out sort of shaky.
I understood then. And I wished now more than ever to be with him to comfort him. He sounded so broken and tired. I remembered him telling me about how his dad left his family four months ago, that night where he had answered all my questions just for a kiss. That night seemed years ago but was only a few months ago.
Nathan… I trailed off, my voice melting into a soft tone.
I heard another long sigh from his end. Listen, I have to go. I’m so sorry for not being there. Love you. He spoke softly.
Wait ! I exclaimed, scared at the thought of him leaving so fast. I… I don’t want you to feel guilty about this… I said honestly, running a hand through my hair. It’s not your fault. I understand and I’m sorry for trying to rush you. Take as much time as you need. I spoke, forcing my voice to come out strong. This was hard for the both of us.
There was a pause at his end. Sky, you don’t understand. I want to be there with you. He started.
I know, and so do I. But I get that this is sort of a big thing. I cut him off.
No, I’d rather be there than here. Trust me. I’m not here willingly. It’s not a father son reunion or something. Nathan snapped, sounding frustrated now.
I bit my lip and waited silently. When he didn’t say anything, I spoke up. What’s going on ? I repeated my earlier question, only this time I wanted the whole answer.
I- He started to say but suddenly stopped. I listened closely and could hear a faint voice in the back. Look, I really need to go. Nathan spoke now, sounding rushed and slightly frustrated.
Is that him ? I asked quietly.
His silence confirmed my theory.
I love you. He spoke now, his voice soft.
I love you too, and I’m right here for you. I don’t want you to hold things back from me anymore, I can take it. It already sucks that I can’t be there to comfort you. I said quickly, knowing he had to go.
Okay, thank you. His voice was a soft breath. Goodnight princess. He said now and I could hear the smile in his voice.
I suddenly felt a tear roll down my cheek. Goodnight Nathan. I whispered, clutching the beautiful locket he had given me the day I left around my neck. I hadn’t taken it off since that day, now it was basically a part of me. Get home quick, I’m getting tired of waiting to know what’s inside the locket. I couldn’t help add.
I heard a sharp intake of breath from his end and could tell he was feeling the same emotions as I was. Goodbye Sky. He spoke, his voice cracking at the end.
I closed my eyes and felt more tears escape my eyes. Then, I heard the sound of a door slam open, some shouting, and then the line went dead.
Putting my phone back on my nightstand, I curled up under the covers and switched off the light. Then, I cried myself to sleep. It all seemed so unfair. Hadn’t we already been through so much ? Would we ever be able to relax and be like a regular couple and do regular things like go out for ice-cream by the beach ? The thought just squeezed at my heart more and I felt more tears escape as I sobbed into my pillow.
Now all I could do now was wait. I didn’t know how long I’d have to wait but I grasped onto that last strand of hope. That everything would be alright. That my one true love would come back. That this pain in my chest would leave. The thought of holding Nathan again, seeing that beautiful smile, and kissing those luscious lips, somehow got me through the night, and would get me through the following days that it took for him to come back.