My eyes teared up at his words, feeling a heavy weight in my chest. Every word he was saying was right. Except I interpreted his actions a lot more differently. Maybe I held too much compassion, or too much empathy and maybe this would end up pulling me down. But I could not allow myself to think like that.
How would the boat sail if both of us were sinking ?
You’re looking at the picture all wrong. I stated, smiling slightly as I felt a tear roll down my cheek. You know where I would be without you ? I asked, my voice shaking slightly. I continued before he could say anything. Locked up. Beat. Harassed. Starving. Broken. I listed off, looking upwards to keep the tears at bay and forcing my voice to stay coherent and not broken.
Instead I’m here celebrating a beautiful Christmas with the most compassionate and caring company to be around. Nathan, I am so grateful you came into my life, as fucked up as it sounds. I laughed slightly. Because I would not have been able to hold on to my true self had it not been you. I would have turned into something else. I would have lost all those qualities you see in me, my brother would be going through something much worse, and then it would probably lead to a dead end. So yes you could look at you signing up for all of this as the biggest regret in your life, but there’s always something good that comes out of destruction. And I see you. Your perseverance, your willpower, your strength to keep the rest of your family members safe, your optimism, the fact that you could tend to such little things and make me happy when you have so much on your shoulders yourself. You could have let this all destroy you, and most people would. But you didn’t break, and I know that this doesn’t end here. I know that no matter how this ends up going down, you ended up saving me, my family, and your own family. I stopped to take a breath and Nathan reached up to wipe away the tears that had escaped softly.
And I’m so sorry you had to see what you saw. I added, placing my hands around his neck and holding him close to me. But you can’t blame yourself. I know that’s what it feels like, but you can’t stop people like Ryland and you can’t let him win and get inside your head. People like him will continue doing these fucked up things, and sometimes you can’t do anything. He’s got your hands tied and missiles trained on you and your brothers. You can’t blame yourself for your mother’s mistake, you can’t blame yourself for the cruel intentions of lost and wicked people like Ryland, and you can’t blame yourself for the way the universe works. This isn’t me being compassionate, this is me speaking the truth. It’s easy to get lost in the suffering and take on the blame, but I know you’re so much stronger. I know that no matter what, you’ll be there for me doing the best to your abilities to keep me safe, to keep everyone around you safe. So please don’t feel helpless, don’t blame yourself for the cruel doings of other people, and don’t let the evil in. The purest intentions always come out in the end, and I don’t know how, but I know we can fix this.
By the time I was done my words, I saw Nathan had a few stray tears rolling down his face, and the intensity of his eyes shook me. He looked at me with pure vulnerability, understanding, and other intense emotions I couldn’t figure out.
Wow. He breathed out. Never have I felt any sort of words give me such release and calm in such an instance like that. He mumbled, his vibrant emerald eyes trained on me. Thank you.
My heart melted and I felt fresh tears well up, but let them fall freely this time as I smiled up at him. Every word is true, and I know you don’t deserve any of this. I want you to realize it too and let me be there for you. I whispered.
His face broke into a relieved, grateful smile, before he took hold of my face and leaned down gently, letting his lips meet mine.
I quickly responded by bringing my arms up around his neck and kissing him back. He pulled me closer to him and our kiss intensified, our emotions being brought to the surface and fully expressing themselves through our embrace. It felt like sparks were bursting out and a connection was being strengthened between us ; an understanding.
I didn’t want the moment to end, but eventually he gently pulled away, keeping the distance between us minimal.
Skylar. Nathan called softly.
Yes ? I responded, still in a haze from that electrifying kiss.
I know this isn’t the right place or the right time, but I don’t know if I’m going to get the opportunity to ask you this ever. He spoke, his eyes passionate and electric.
My heart suddenly sped up again. I held his arms which were around my waist, giving them a small squeeze to go on as I matched his vulnerable and verbatim gaze.
I don’t know if I’ll ever get out of this mess, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get to see you once you’re gone. So I need some reassurance, some label I guess, to remind me of this. He stopped, closing his eyes for a second and taking a deep breath. Skylar. He spoke gently, before opening his sharp, brilliant eyes. Will you be my girlfriend ? He asked.
Did I hear that right ?
I wanted to scream, jump around, and cry all at the same time. I was shocked he had asked, but it only lasted a while until I felt some sort of relief and an opening to something much more. I had been shoving all those thoughts and feelings away given everything about our situation, but all those feelings came rushing out, and I let them finally come up for air instead of holding them down and burying them. I knew this was insane of me to do, but I couldn’t explain it. Then the word came to me, which broadly covered every emotion and feeling I was experiencing.
Could it really be ?
Yes. I think it was, at least to some extent. I was feeling love for him.
The thought of dating your kidnapper was insane and would probably be seen as super unhealthy and deranged. But I was pretty certain that real love came creeping up on you when you least expected it. Cupid’s arrow certainly did pinch my arse when I was least expecting it. Real love wasn’t dependent to your surroundings and situations. It was something that formed between two souls. It was loving someone regardless of their past mistakes, overseeing their flaws, and willing to let them lean on you to balance each other out. He wasn’t just some guy who was forced to kidnap me and chose to treat me well. No, he was a guy who had a broken heart, yet he still made me feel worthy, made me feel special, like no one else ever had. Even if it wasn’t under the best circumstances and at the worst time, it was the most perfectly unexpected thing to occur and something that gave hope and potential for a better future ; something worth fighting for.
Yes. I answered, a huge smile on my lips. I’d love to be your girlfriend.
Nathan gave me a beautiful, genuine smile that was contagious, before pulling me to his chest and hugging the life out of me.
I giggled as he lifted me up and spun us around, before placing me down and holding my face gently.
Let’s seal the deal princess. He spoke with a small grin.
I grinned back, before reaching up and kissing the living daylights out of him.
We pulled away as soon as we heard footsteps coming and stepped away from each other, my cheeks still heated and a satisfied smirk on Nathan’s lips.
L. S ! Dustin cried, running towards me with a scared expression.
I bent down just in time as he engulfed me in a hug.
What is it Dustin ? I asked with concern.
That bad guy came into my room. He spoke quietly, his lip quivering.
I looked up to see Tyler walking towards us with precaution, eyeing Dustin.
I let out a small chuckle and ruffled the kid’s hair. That’s not a bad guy Dustin, that’s my brother. I explained gently.