“Huh?” I parroted, perplexed why this man looked so angry at me.
“Do you not value your life?!”
I flinched when this man’s voice raised. I was supposed to be angry at the rogue Alpha named Niccolo since this person stepped on my boundaries, but I found myself staring at him, seeing how he was fuming with anger as he uttered some gibberish words.
Gibberish since I did not have the heart to listen to his whims. But instead, seeing that this man really existed in this world meant that he was really real.
This man was the one who had been with me before I had my last breath, before I found myself being regressed before the tragedy.
“Oi! W-Why are you crying?” He gasped and lowered his voice.
I snapped back, seeing that my vision was blurry with my tears. “I…” My voice broke before I tried to wipe them. But the more I wiped them, the more I shed tears. “I couldn’t… I couldn’t control them…” I sobbed before I flopped to the ground, hugging his leg. “I am sorry… I have… I have wasted the opportunity you gave me…”
I wailed like a kid having tantrums with her mother. I did not care if I showed my vulnerability now. I had every right to mourn for Valerian.
He was the love of my life. He was the most precious treasure I could ever have.
I closed my eyes, feeling my heart being shattered more. “I lose Valerian again… I love my honeydew… Please. Please reverse the time again. This time… This time, I will be careful. I will save Valerian again. We would elope together. I promise…”
I did not know what I was saying. Right now, my chest was so heavy I wanted to pass out.
“Please bring me back where Valerian did not die… I want him back. I want to be with him. He promised that he was going to marry me… I will be his wife, his Luna, his duchess… and be the mother of our future pups. Please! I beg you! Please summon Dameta! I am willing to do anything, so I can bring him back!”
“I-I do not know what you are saying, m-my lady.”
“Do not pretend that you did not know!” I snarled and looked up at him, frenzied. “You are the rogue Alpha! You were Britanny’s pet! Please!” I clung to him as if my life was dependent on him. “I want my Valerian back… He is the only one that will keep me living in this world… If I cannot be with him, I will follow him…”
Why couldn’t the Moon Goddess grant a simple wish? The world was so f u c k i n g cruel. I hated it.
I was blinded by sorrow, misery, despair, guilt, and mental instability. I was like this when Valerian died the first time it happened. These negative feelings were eating me like they wanted to eat everything from me.
I stood up and did not think twice about jumping from the cliff.
“NO!”
I closed my eyes and succumbed to death when I heard Valerian’s voice calling my name. All I wanted was to be with him in the next life. I just wanted to be with him and be happy.
When I thought that I had died from falling off the cliff, I opened my eyes and met a familiar chamber. I initially thought it was my chamber, but my heart dropped, seeing the familiar brown sheets and cream-colored canopy bed I used to see in Valerian’s chamber in my previous life.
And the chandelier was hanging in the ceiling… It felt like I was really in my honeydew’s chamber.
“Where the hell am I?” I muttered, getting more petrified. “Don’t tell me… I regressed again?” My heart skipped a beat from that conclusion I reached.
However, when I lowered my gaze to my clothing, I gasped, seeing that I wore the same clothing when I jumped off the… cliff? Right? I jumped off the cliff when I begged the rogue Alpha as he feigned ignorance about what he could do.
I got up when I heard footsteps coming into this chamber. My heart was anticipating that it could be Valerian, thinking that I really regressed.
“Val-” My voice sounded hopeful and happy, but it was cut off upon meeting my carbon copy with chartreuse eyes. “Y-You? D-Demetrius?” Why was the last descendant of the Leveaux Duchy and next Alpha in line of the Nocturnal Crest pack here?
The young man looked surprised momentarily when I mentioned his name before his cupid bow rosy lips elongated to a dazzling smile. “You are awake… my lady.”
Bewilderment was registered on my face. If this young man was before me, it meant I was not regressed? I was still in the present timeline?
That meant… Valerian remained dead.
Damn it! Why? Why did I not regress again?!
“Why am I here in… Valerian’s chamber?”
He looked surprised again. “You know… my predecessor’s chamber?” He slightly tilted his head, scrutinizing me.
I almost gasped at his words. Shit! Dominixe! Could you not be careful when uttering some words? “I… Um… I have… I have been h-here once.” Darn! Why was I stuttering? Shouldn’t I be more confident?
“Ah…” He nodded, roaming his eyes around every corner of the chamber. “So, my predecessor brought you here already… I see.” He was talking not to me but to himself before his chartreuse eyes pierced into me. “Are you his fling?” he asked.
I growled, offended. “I am not his fling!” How rude! This man… I swore I was going to kill him.
Demetrius raised his hands. “My apologies. I only concluded since you said that my predecessor brought you here once. I remembered he told me that he used to bring a woman here for one-time fun.” He shrugged.
“He what?” I felt like thousands of arrows struck my heart at his words. “He… He brought other women here?” That made me feel betrayed.
But I shouldn’t feel that, right? Since I used to sleep with other men…
“Hmm!” He nodded before his eyes settled on the pitcher. He poured the glass and offered it to me. “Here. You must be parched,” he said politely.
As much as I wanted to explode from annoyance because of what I heard, I accepted his kindness. It was rude that he remained calm and collected when I was here… wanted to wreak havoc.
“Thank you…” I said in my meek tone. He smiled and nodded. I followed him through gaze when he went to fix the curtains. “And this chamber… I thought that this was already damaged because of the… arson.”
I wanted to be careful about opening this topic. This was a sensitive issue that the whole pack was annihilated because of simple but deadly arson.
He gently opened the window before he turned to me with a small smile plastered on his lips. “Fortunately, this wasn’t damaged.” He leaned on the windowsill as his eyes looked murky, like a muddy pond. “Thank the Moon Goddess for that.”
“I am sorry for what happened with… the pack and… to him.” I clutched the sheets, averting my gaze. “My condolences…” I said softly, not wanting to accept that Valerian was dead.
“Hmm…” I felt his gaze in my peripheral vision.
“What am I doing here, by the way?” I met his gaze and failed upon meeting his chartreuse eyes that reminded me about Valerian.
Unfair… Why did I have to see those pair of bewitching eyes? I felt like I was being hunted now by him.
“Ah, yes, indeed!” he exclaimed. “Niccolo brought you here. He said you attempted to perform a s u i c i d e by jumping off the cliff.” My eyes widened. “He saved you, by the way.”
I lowered my gaze, looking into my hands. “Why did he save me?” Instead of being thankful, I felt otherwise. I felt remorse that someone had saved me.
I felt like I did not deserve to be saved again. It was already over the moment Valerian died.
“Because you want to be saved.”
I smiled bitterly at his words. “I wanted to be saved?” I scoffed. “I am attempting to k i l l myself, so why he hindered it!” I couldn’t help getting angry and frustrated upon learning this fact. “Should I be grateful to him?” I glared at him. “I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t be grateful to him!” I closed my eyes when guilty tears fell from my eyes again. “I just want to be with the man I loved… Why does everyone find a way to halt my plan? Why is it so wrong to end my life?”
“Because it is wrong in the first place. You are being a first-class idiot.”
I stiffened upon hearing that familiar masculine voice. I harshly wiped my tears and glared at that man named Niccolo, who was leaning in the doorframe, having such a smug on his handsome face.
And he said what? What did he say again?
“What did you say?” I clenched my hands, feeling my insides tensing. My blood was even boiling to the point that it reached high pressure just by hearing his impertinent words.
Demetrius sighed. “Niccolo, halt.” He raised his hand to stop him before he apologetically smiled at me. “Please forgive his insolence, my lady. He does not know what he is saying.”
Even though Demetrius was young, the way he talked and moved was like a mature one. He also looked like a kind and polite young man.
“I know what I am saying, Demetrius. Apparently, that woman does not value her life. She does not think about the consequences of her actions. She thinks that ending her life might solve everything.”
“Niccolo-”
“How dare you?!” I attacked him by raising my fist, but he dodged it with his hand. “You do not understand my pain! So, halt your impudent mouth before I can lacerate it and cut your tongue, scumbag!” I snarled.
But Niccolo looked unfazed at my threats before his lips curled up into a smirk. “Do you think the man you loved would be happy if you ended yourself, woman?”
I squinted my eyes at him. How dare this man speak like that to me? I remembered in my previous life that, he was not like that. He remained a silent stalker and modest when he became Britanny’s pet. Also, even if I kept on pushing him away, he remained humbling himself.
However, it seemed different in this timeline.
I did not know this bastard could have such insubordinate and audacious behavior. Was this his true nature?
“What do you know?” I barked again. “You… You fucktard… You do not know the pain I have right now…” I started sobbing. “He is the man who I love the most…” I lowered my head as tears cascaded down my cheeks. “He is my strength and my weakness… He is my everything… He is the reason why I have to keep myself at bay. He is the only reason I want to do everything to get him out of his fate. I have once taken him for granted, and now… I wanted to show him how much I love him…” My knees failed me as I covered my face with my hands. “And now he is gone… My mate… My honeydew… The only person who showed me that I could be loved and could love… Valerian Leveaux is my everything!”
“You are my predecessor’s… mate?” Demetrius asked, gasping. “Are you… D-Dominixe Lilith C-Cantavalle?”
I immediately looked at him. “Yes…” I crawled to his feet. “Yes… I am his mate…” I hiccuped. “I am Valerian’s mate. I am his honeydew… I am his only woman… I am the one who he promised that he wanted to marry as soon as everything was over… I am… That is me…” I wailed so loud as my breathing kept failing me.
The heartbreak I felt was enough to kill me. I wanted to be with Valerian. I wanted to be with him in the afterlife.
“Please… Demetrius…” I looked up at him. “Please… end my life. I want to be with him. I want to be with-”
“THAT IS ENOUGH!”
I felt myself being dragged as Niccolo shook my shoulders. “Shut the hell up, you s u i c i d a l woman! Get yourself together!” he said angrily.
I looked up at Niccolo and smiled bitterly. “I will only get myself together if you bring him back to me!” I slapped him violently. “Bastard…” I pushed him away from me and stood up.
But as soon as I did that, my foot tripped over his foot, causing me to fall forward, and my head hit the doorframe. My body collapsed before I saw them rushing over me before I slowly closed my eyes while uttering my mate’s name.
“Valerian…”