I woke up quite late on Friday morning. As my consciousness grew I became aware of Laura lying asleep next to me in the bed.
I spent about five minutes watching her, watching her sleep, watching her body move as she breathed. I was fascinated by her. She looked so young and innocent, and yet I couldn’t stop thinking of how she seemed to have an unstoppable sexual appetite.
I climbed out of bed, crept out the room and went to the kitchen.
I switched on my mobile phone and the kettle almost simultaneously, and as the kettle roared as it boiled the water, my phone began to beep.
And here my plans for the day started to go astray.
First a text from mum. She, not dad, would be collecting Laura. And she would arrive on Saturday, not Sunday, as Dad was planning.
Second, Stacey. Oh god Stacey. She was ‘demanding’ to see me. She couldn’t believe I had walked in on her and my sister, and was even more shocked that I had ‘allowed’ my sister to touch me.
She would be at our usual coffee shop at 11. I had to be there! According to her.
Then Laura walked slowly into the kitchen, looking a bit dazed.
”Oh headache!” she mumbled.
”Morning, ” I replied.
”I don’t feel great, Paul,” she spoke as though the words were painful. ”I’m going back to bed. My bed. Can you let me rest today?”
”Ok,” I said, feeling a bit dejected.
She stumbled out the kitchen and along the hallway to her room.
”This is not going to be a good day,” I whispered to the kitchen wall.
So I met up with Stacey, deliberately getting there late. She was huddled up in a corner table, big mug of coffee in both her hands. I ordered a coffee and sat with her. The formalities over she began ranting.
”Am I your girlfriend or not?”
‘Yes, why?”
”So tell me about last night.”
”Well we, err, erm, we got a bit…. carried away,” I was unsure what to say.
”If I’m to be your girlfriend I expect to be the only girl you go to bed with.”
I didn’t reply for what seems like ages. This girl is unhinged I’m sure.
Eventually I spoke.
”Err I seem to remember I found you in bed with her, naked. Second she is my sister and I didn’t fuck her. Are you allowed to fuck others but I’m not?” I was getting annoyed. I spoke quietly as this conversation was not one I wanted others to hear!
”Exactly. Your sister! That’s freaky!!” she bellowed.
”Shhh.. keep it quiet.”
Silence then she stood up and walked out.
I was confused. I finished my coffee and ordered another, pushing the spoon around the table. Then I went into town, strolled around aimlessly for a while. I bought a sandwich, a book, and then waled down to the park and sat by the river.
I ate my lunch, read a few pages, then just lay back and listened to my mp3 player.
By mid afternoon I was contemplating my next move, when my phone rang. Laura. She said she was still a bit under the weather but was going out for a walk.
”Sorry if I was a bit cranky this morning. Love you,” she spoke quickly then rang off.
I smiled, put my phone back in my pocket, when it rang again. Stacey.
”Sorry if I was a bit cranky earlier. Just being a girl, you know.”
Not sure I do….
”Anyway I’ll come round tomorrow. Got to study now.”
”But Stacey wait…..”
Too late. She rang off. My mum’s coming tomorrow, I wanted to say.
I met up with my flatmate, James, for a few beers. He picked up on my mood.
”I can’t wait for you to move back on Sunday,” I said.
”I thought you got on with your sister, ” he sounded confused.
”I do, it’s just, you know, I need a man in the house. Us men are normal.”
I told him about my row with Stacey. Not all of it you understand. Not the bit about my sister. Just how Stacey was doing my head in. I told him I might dump her.
He thought I was mad.
”You know that half the university wants to fuck her?” he smiled.
”Yeah but it’s when I’m not fucking her she drives me mad,” I replied, finishing another beer.
I arrived home about ten pm. Drunk. Laura was there. I asked how she was. Better, tired still, late night last night, poor sleep. Overdosed on Stacey.
I laughed, kissed her cheek, then told her of my day. About Stacey, about mum arriving a day early. We talked about nothing in particular then she went off to bed.
” No games tonight naughty boy. I’m tired. Maybe tomorrow morning before mum arrives.”
I waved at her casually as she shuffled off to her room, shortly before I fell asleep on the sofa.
Saturday!
I woke up on the sofa. My body sore and stiff. Dry dribble on my chin. Laura walked in a minute or two later, dressed, smiling, happy.
”Ugh. Go and have a shower. Men!!!”
”What do you know about men?” I mumbled, meaning it as a joke.
She wasn’t impressed.
”When is mum coming?” she asked.
”Lunchtime.”
I had a shower. I was thinking of Laura as I dried. Then I heard voices. I walked to the living room and tried not to lose it when I saw Stacey talking to Laura. Shortly after, mum arrived, two hours early.
We all had lunch, all four of us. Mum’s treat. We got back to the flat mid afternoon, and mum helped Laura pack. Mum had decided to stay the night if possible.
Stacey cooked a great meal, clearly trying to impress my mum, but I have to confess impressing me too. She could be normal if she tried!
I popped out and bought some wine. Actually a lot of wine. I know mum is partial.
After a good meal and a fair bit of wine we were all getting quite chilled. Laura washed up then came and sat next to me. Mum was getting tired. I sat, incredulous, as she rested her head on Stacey’s shoulder, and remained like that for a while. It was now ten pm.
I began to doze, Laura nudging me as she pointed to mum and Stacey. Mum’s head was still resting on Stacey, who in turn was stroking mum’s hair. Then Stacey began to rub my mum’s back. Mum groaned softly.
Then as mum looked up at her, Stacey leaned in and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead. I looked at Laura who seemed transfixed on the situation.
It was all too weird for me. My girlfriend seemed to be hitting on my mum, or was it the other way round? I got up, went to the toilet, then went into the kitchen to get another bottle of wine.
When I returned the living room, just Laura was there.
”Where are they?” I was genuinely confused.
”Mum said it was bedtime. Stacey offered to take her to bed.” Laura replied quite matter of factly.
”And you let her? Which bed?” I was almost in a panic.
”Of course I let her. What is going to happen? Murder? My bed of course dummy.”
”You saw them. They were… they were.”
”They were what?”
”They were, I don’t know. Flirting.”
”Brother. Calm down. Mum’s an adult.”
”Yes but Stacey!”
She held up her hand, her palm facing me. Stop it, she was saying.
She poured two glasses of wine. And she cuddled up to me.
Ten minutes later, we had both given in to our curiosity. We tiptoed down the hall, towards Laura’s/James’s room. The door was ajar. Does no one ever shut that door I thought.
We stood outside, bending over as if that would help us hear better. Muffled voices, kissing. Laura sneeked in, bent double. I put my head round the door.
I don’t know how you are supposed to react when you find your 45 year old mum naked having sex with your 19 year old girlfriend. I don’t believe there are many books which teach you how to react.
I just froze. I’m sure my eyes were jumping out of my head. I know that I had an erection. Was that appropriate?