I couldn’t keep living my life like this. Living in fear of him being taken away from us. I didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t want my kids growing up without their dad.
“If they have nothing on you then why did they show up here tonight?”. If they didn’t suspect him then they wouldn’t have shown up here.
“Cause anything happens in this fucking town we’re the ones they check out first. We do things that ain’t legal but we ain’t bad all the time”. He dropped his grip from my waist and walked towards the back door.
“But it’s always you”. I whispered.
“Reputations a motherfucker Ava”. He pulled a smoke from his packet. “If you knew half the shit, I had done you wouldn’t be with me”.
I didn’t need to know what he had done in his past. I already knew he was dangerous. Killing someone wasn’t a big deal to him.
“I ain’t the same person I was babe, but this shit will never leave me. The damage is already done”.
“And my dad played a big part in the right?”. Franko gave the orders, back then Blaze wouldn’t have done anything off his own back.
He shrugged. “Ain’t your dads fault darling so cool your head”.
“If you aren’t the same person then why do you keep getting mixed up in shit that attracts the cops?”.
“That fucker nearly killed Jared. You think we’d just let that lie without retaliation?”. His eyes grew dark. “I’m not the same person babe but I still gotta take care of business when it arises”.
I knew all of this. I knew what he did for a living. I knew what I was getting myself into all those years ago and even when I moved back here. But the thought of living a normal life was always in the back of my mind.
Heck, I didn’t even know what normal was nowadays.
“So, what now?”. I fixed myself some tea and sat at the table. “What if those cops show up at the hospital?”.
“Babe”. He sighed closing over the back door.
“Fine I’ll drop it”. I got to my feet. “I’m going to bed. Are you staying or going?”. There was no point in talking about this anymore. There was no point in torturing myself with the what ifs.
“Need to go back to the clubhouse”.
“Remember you’re taking Everleigh tomorrow and I need you to pick her up early”.
“Aye darling. Drop her off on your way to work”.
“I’ll probably be finished late, so you’ll have to give her dinner and bath her as well”.
“Aye babe”.
“Okay then”. Lifting my tea, I nodded towards the living room. “I need to lock the door behind you”.
“Ain’t gonna give me a kiss first?”. He closed the distance between us placing his hands gently on my waist.
“I’m not in the mood Blaze”. His hands dropped from my waist as he took a step back.
“This is my life, Ava. It hasn’t changed in all the years you’ve knew me and it ain’t gonna. You knew what you were getting yourself-…”.
“Yes, okay I knew what I was getting myself into, but we have Everleigh now and one on the way. I guess I thought we’d maybe get-…”. I paused.
“What?”. He laughed. “You thought we’d get the white picket fence, have the perfect fucking family life?”.
My insides tightened. I didn’t want the white picket fence and yes, our family wasn’t perfect, but it was ours. I just wanted one day where I didn’t have to worry about whether he was going to end up in jail or not.
“If that’s the shit you wanted then you should have picked Nate princess”.
My breath caught in my throat. I can’t believe he just said that. He knew how much I loved him how much I was in love with him. The reason I was here and fighting so hard to make us work.
And for what? For him to throw it back in my face by saying something like that.
How can he say things like that and not expect me to get my back up about it?
“What is wrong with you?”.
“It’s been a long day Ava”. He ran a hand down his face as his phone started to ring.
“So, you come home and take it out on me?”. He didn’t get to do this every time he had a long day. Why would he even mention Nate? Was he pushing for an argument? “Don’t you dare answer that”. I glared.
“I ain’t got time for this. Drop her off in the morning”.
I watched him leave and as soon as the front door closed, I smashed the cup I was holding off the wall. This is the shit I thought we were past. We had moved on from it. The arguing and the fighting and all the drama that came with it.
Right now, it felt like we were back to square one.
..
When I say I had an early start I meant it. It had just gone six when I was putting Everleigh into the car. Still sound asleep and wrapped up in her blanket.
I didn’t bother to call him or let him know I was on my way. He knew I was leaving early. I just hoped the clubhouse wasn’t still in full swing. We all know how much they like a piss up.
Especially when Marco was here.
I was in two minds whether to drop her off at my mom’s. Shaking that thought from my head I made a face. He was her dad, and he would be taking her.
Fixing my seatbelt, I clipped my phone into the holder before dialing his number.
“Aye?”. He answered.
I didn’t expect him to answer.
“I’m on my way”.
“Fuck, already?”.
I didn’t like the feeling in my stomach at his response.
“I told you I had an early start”.
“Aye babe but I didn’t think you meant this early. I ain’t there”.
“You’re kidding right?”.
“Nah darling I got held up”.
He wasn’t alone I could hear voices in the background, but I wasn’t interested in that. I didn’t care where he was or what he was doing. I was more annoyed because he wasn’t there to look after her.
“Forget it”. I ended the call and started my engine.
Ignoring his calls I drove off down the street making my way to the hospital. We had daycare everything would be fine. She’d come spend the day at the hospital with me.
..
Pulling into a space near the front doors I turned off my engine and unclipped my seatbelt. I wanted to cry, cry with frustration and anger. I asked him to do one thing, and he couldn’t even do that. He needed a reminder that we both had the responsibility of looking after Everleigh.
Gritting my teeth I took a deep breath before getting out. Lifting her into my arms I made my way into the hospital heading straight towards my office.
Josh was stood at the coffee machine a frown on his face. “Bring your child to work day?”. He asked.
“Could you please get me one?”. I nodded towards the machine.
“Are you alright?”.
“Childcare”. I sighed. “I’ll drop her at daycare as soon as she’s awake”.
“Ava if you need to go home it’s fine”.
“No”. I could do this. I will call my mom if I need to.
“We don’t even know if he’s fit enough for surgery yet. Don’t know if he’ll survive the anesthesia. Go home”.
“I’m here now Josh so I’m not going home”. Reaching my office, I pushed open the door and placed Everleigh on the couch.
“Here”. He handed me my coffee which I gladly took.
“Thank you”.
“Couldn’t find anyone to watch her?”.
“Something like that”.
“Blaze busy”.
I wasn’t doing this, and I especially wasn’t sharing my business with him.
“He is”. Taking a seat behind my desk I kicked off my sneakers. “Think he’ll pull through?”.
Honestly no and I think if we put him under, he won’t make it”.
“So, what’s the plan?”.
“Monitoring him and doing his observations every 20 minutes”.
“Do the cops have any leads yet?”. I took a sip of my coffee making sure to avoid eye contact.
He shook his head. “Not that I’m aware. They can’t talk to him so it’s not as if they have anything to go off”.
My insides relaxed. Maybe Blaze was right, but it still didn’t explain why they questioned me. But then again anything goes wrong in this town it’s them that get questioned first.
“Are you sure you’re alright?”.
“Just tired”. I smiled.
“The offer is still there to go home”.
Home is the last place I wanted to go. I would just overthink and drive myself crazy. “I might go later. I have some paperwork to catch up on”.
“Page me if you need me”.
“Thanks Josh”.