Chapter 247:
Forgiveness
Chris’ s Perspective:
I sprawled out on my small apartment’s worn leather couch, back and bottom pitched against the laptop screen, staring at a blank page. Megan’s autobiography was due within a week, yet I didn’t write a word since we fell out. Still, I remembered her voice, anger and hurt echoing.
“You lied to me, Chris. How could you?”
She had opened a gash that seemed to bleed on and on. I had never particularly wanted to lie to her, yet all my insecurities and fears had heaped barriers between us. Now, as I sat down, things needed to be mended. But how?
A knock on the door broke me out of my reverie. I waited for a moment before standing up to answer it. In at the door, opening it, was Jane, a surprise for me.
“Jane? What brings you here?” I asked as I moved aside to let her in.
She walked in; her eyes moved around the cluttered room before resting on me. “We need to talk, Chris.”
I nodded and motioned for her to have a seat. “I know. I need to apologize to Megan. I just don’t know how.”
Jane sat and crossed her arms over her chest. “It isn’t about just apologizing, Chris. It’s about knowing why you did what you did, and making sure that it doesn’t happen again.”
I flopped back on the couch, running a hand through my hair. “I was scared, Jane. I was so afraid that if Megan knew the truth, she would leave me.”
Jane’s expression had softened. “Chris, Megan loves you. You need to be honest with her, though. She deserves that.”
I nodded, knowing she was right. “I need to see her. I have to explain it all to her.”
She stood up, her hand reassuringly on my shoulder. “Do it, Chris. Before it’s too late.”
Megan’s Point of View:
Punching bag, meet fist. I hit the punching bag hard with jabs and hooks. My anger, the feeling of betrayal he had invoked in me by lying to my face, lay at the bottom of every punch.
“Easy, Megan,” Jane’s voice cut through my fog of frustration. “You’re going to wear yourself out.”
I spun my back on her, stopping. I was panting. “I just can’t believe he did that to me, Jane. How could he keep something like that from me?”
Jane came over with a towel and handed it to me. “People make mistakes, Megan. What’s important is how they make amends.”
I wiped at the sweat on my face and felt some of my anger start to seep away. “I don’t know if I can ever forgive him.”
Jane put a hand on my shoulder. “Forgiveness doesn’t always mean forgetting, Megan. It means understanding and moving on. You should talk to him, Megan. Hear him out.”
I nodded because she was right. It’s hard to turn around and argue with Chris about my feelings.
Later that evening, I stood outside Chris’ apartment. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door; it was drumming in my chest. A few moments later, the door opened to reveal him standing there, just as torn as I was.
“Megan,” he said softly, standing aside to let me in.
I walked in; my eyes skimmed the room before finally resting on him. “We need to talk, Chris.”
He nodded his head, waved a hand over the chair to indicate that I take a seat. “I know, and I want to explain everything.”
We took our seats at our places, and some time went by in awkward silence before Chris finally took a deep breath and began talking.
“I never wanted to hurt you, Megan. When this whole arrangement started, I was really happy just to have a job. Then the more time we spent together, the more I realized that I was falling for you. And that scared me.”
I looked into his eyes, my anger slowly replaced by curiosity. “Why would that scare you, Chris?”
“Because I didn’t think I was good enough for you,” he nearly whispered. “I thought that if you knew the truth about me and my past, you would leave me.”
I frowned, trying to understand. “What truth?”
Chris took a deep breath, his eyes locked on mine. “I wasn’t just some starving ghostwriter. I had a gambling problem. I lost a lot of money and made some really bad decisions. And I didn’t want you to know because I was ashamed.”
His admission came completely out of left field. I had no idea he toted this much baggage around with him. “Chris, why didn’t you just tell me?”
“Because I was scared,” he said, his voice breaking. “I was scared you’d see me for a failure and walk away.”
I reached out and put a hand on his. “Chris, everyone screws up. What matters is you learn from it, and you’re trying to do better.”
He turned on me with a hopeful gaze. “Do you think you can forgive me?”
I remembered what Jane told me earlier: Forgiveness is understanding and moving on. I knew that wasn’t going to be easy, yet, at the same time, deep inside, I know that I still love Chris.
“I don’t know, Chris, but I’m willing to try,” I said softly.
Across his face, relief was written as he squeezed my hand. “Thank you, Megan. I promise you that, whatever it takes to make it up to you.”
Chris’s Point of View:
The next few days were emotional. Megan and I had begun to rebuild, but slow, fragile. I buried myself in work, determined to finish her autobiography and make it the very best possible.
One evening, Megan walked in with two cups of coffee while I was working on the manuscript. She gave me one and sat beside me, looking at the screen.
“How’s it going?” she asked, taking her coffee in a sip.
“It’s coming along,” I said and felt proud about what we’d done so far.
Her face was soft; her eyes were warm. “I can’t wait to read it.”
I then faced her, my eyes welling up in appreciation. “Thanks for giving me another chance, Megan.”
She reached out and placed one hand on my cheek. “Everyone deserves a second chance, Chris. Just don’t make me regret it.”
“I won’t,” I said, reaching forward to kiss her.
His lips upon mine, I felt a wave of peace I had not known in so long. Somehow, I felt everything was going to be okay.
Megan’s P. O. V.
We sat down to finally get back to the book with Chris. Now there was some hope in me again. We both messed it up but were slowly learning to forgive and move on.
One evening, as he was closing the place, he turned to me with sincere eyes. “Megan, there is something I want you to know-I love you. And I am willing to do whatever it takes to make things work.”
I turned and looked at him with my feelings suddenly peaking. “I love you too, Chris. And I know we can get through anything as long as we are together.”
He smiled and drew me close to his side with his arms. “Thanks for the opportunity, Megan. I won’t let you down.”