The couple on the bed never noticed them. Lisa had on Annie’s favorite stetson hat and her ostrich skin boots and nothing else. She was on her hands and knees. Jimmy was behind her pounding away while she was screaming “Ride em Cowboy. Yee-haw.”
He let her struggle for awhile.
“Annie, calm down. I’m not gonna lose you by letting you kill them. It’s not worth it.”
His words barely registered but she finally stopped. He took his hand from her mouth and set her on a workbench where she kept her shooting supplies. He took her pistols and removed the cylinders. She lay there shaking.
He touched her gently.
“Come on, I’m taking you home with me.”
She blinked a few times, and started shaking her head no.
“Not yet, I’m gonna let those two assholes know I know. ”
He could see the rage building in her. She looked around wildly, saw her pistols with the missing cylinders and stopped and smiled. reaching into a cabinet behind the work bench she pulled out an extra cylinder and started seating it.
“Annie, I’m not gonna let you shoot them.”
She was pouring and packing powder into the cylinders, adding a little rock salt she had in the corner for clearing the sidewalks from snow.
“I’m not gonna shoot them. I’m not putting in bullets. But I am going to scare the shit out of them.”
She loaded four cylinders and seated the caps.
“Come on and be quiet.”
They crept quietly up the stairs. They had finished and they could hear them talking.
“Honey, aren’t you afraid we might get caught? It won’t matter much to me because I’m single.”
“If you despise the little bitch why do you stay with her? You keep telling me I got better pussy and do things she won’t. I never say no and always come when you call, in more ways than one.”
Lisa giggled at her own joke.
He laughed with her.
“We’ve been going strong for almost a year and she still has no clue. Thanks to that stupid gun club and her belief she’s Annie Fucking Oakley reincarnated, we got plenty of time. Anyone who might tell on us is with her right now.”
He stopped to sneer in satisfaction.
“Bet she don’t win this one. She pissed me off before she left with a honey do list, so I snuck her bitch pills out of her bag. Right about now she’s probably shaking like a leaf and tearing some poor s. o. b. a new ass with one hand and ripping his head off with the other.” “And as much as I love these, and this, and this-” They could hear little gasps “she has something you don’t. A pocket full of money. Oh, she doesn’t have it yet, but her old man won’t last forever, and when he goes she gets it all. We don’t have a prenuptial, so I automatically get half. Half is worth millions. I’ll dump her ass for a 50/50 split, and you and I will head for someplace warm. Sound like a good plan?”
Annie heard all she could stand. She burst through the door screaming “ASSHOLES!” and popped the first cap. Black powder is loud, especially in a confined space. Combine that with the smoke, flame, the sound of unburned powder and rock salt hitting the wall, and anyone would be freaked out.
Lisa and Jimmy were crying and begging while Annie was using all seven dirty words George Carlin used to talk about in all kinds of interesting ways. Finally she stopped and pulled the hammer back.
“SHUT THE FUCK UP! GET BOTH YOUR SORRY ASSES OUT OF THAT BED AND GO DOWN TO THE GARAGE, RIGHT FUCKING NOW. AND DON’T TRY TO RUN OR I’LL BLOW YOUR BALLS OFF.”
Annie walked them down to the basement. She refused to let them get dressed. She seemed detached.
“Open the garage door.”
They started to complain. It was cold. It was raining. It was still daylight. It was a mistake, they were both sorry.
She walked up to Jimmy and put the barrel against his balls.
” If you don’t open this door by the time I count to three I’m gonna pull the trigger. It doesn’t have a bullet. What it has is a double charge of powder and about an ounce of rock salt. Probably won’t kill you unless you bleed to death, but if you have any balls left at all they’ll be useless. One. Tw-”
The garage door flew open. She smiled.
“Now I’m gonna give you a chance. I’ll count to five. When I get to five I’m gonna shoot you in the ass. If you run fast enough, in this rain, you’ll get just a dusting. If you’re slow, or slip, rock salt will be dissolving out of your ass for a week. Oh, and by the way, I’m filling for divorce. Now, let’s just see how good my aim is without the bitch pills.”
He started apologizing, it was a mistake, he stilled loved her.
She smiled. “One.”
Sheer terror gave him speed. He was flying down the sidewalk while she counted.
“Two. Three. Four.” BANG!
His scream was unreal. She had hit him dead center in the ass. Doc thought she might have underestimated the power of a double charge of powder.
She looked over and smiled at Lisa.
“Why aren’t you running , bitch? One, two….