12

Sean Peterson
Another morning came after another sleepless night, though the reason for my sleeplessness wasn’t her; it’s Ryan I was thinking about. I had been running my mind since last night to save Ryan from those greedy people. He was a kid for god sake and he had every right on his father’s property, but he was eyed by some low lives who unfortunately are my family members.
I was angry; angry at my mom and dad for not having time for their only grandson. Power, money, and show off were important for them else than anything; more important than their own children.
I needed Ryan safe and closer to me and for that, I had to spend more time with him and the mission starts today. With that thought, I rolled off the bed and as I didn’t have to go to work I decided to go for a run to refresh my mind. It was only six-thirty in the morning when I headed downstairs and got surprised when I found Ryan roaming in the living room; alone.
“Ryan, what are you doing? You are up early? Where’s grandma?” I asked as I sauntered towards him.
“Good morning uncle Sean. Grandma is in the bathroom and I’m waiting for her to come out so we can go for a walk.”
I found the moment as an opportunity to bond with him.
“I’m also going for a run, will you accompany me?” I asked as I kneeled to his level. His eyes twinkled and he asked, “Are you going to the park?”
“We can if you want.” I smiled. His lips curled up but within a second curled down. I felt like he wanted to say something but was hesitating.
“Ryan, what had I told you? You can say or ask for whatever you want.” I said, caressing his chubby cheeks.
“Uh, can I get a shoulder ride like Aron’s father give to him?” He mumbled hesitantly as he lowered his head. I raised his chin. “Who’s Aron?”
“He’s our neighbor. Whenever grandma takes me to the park, I see his father giving him a shoulder ride. I too want that, I never got one.”
“You never got a shoulder ride?” I frowned.
“No. Grandma can’t carry me on her shoulders and both my Grandpas and uncle Levi are always busy. I don’t have anyone to give me that.” He said referring to my dad, uncle, and cousin. I felt like punching someone. Those money-hungry people didn’t even have five minutes to play with the kid. I was no different; I too neglected him. But now I had got my senses back.
“Don’t say you don’t have anyone. You have me, I’ll give you shoulder ride.”
“You will?” His blue eyes turned wide in surprise. I nodded my head, laughing. “Now, go and wear your shoes; I’m waiting here.”
“Yay!” He jumped in excitement and ran to his room.
“Whoa, what’s with the excitement?” Grandma asked coming out of her room, watching excited Ryan who ran past her without looking at her.
“Taking him to the park with me” I smiled as I stood up. “Trying to fulfill his tiny dreams.”
“Then I must stay back. You two go and spend a good time with each other.” She suggested.
“Good morning.” I rolled my eyes as I heard the voice of my headache.
“Good morning, Lauren.” Grandma greeted her and I gave her a curt nod, saying ‘morning’.
“Lauren, why don’t you accompany Sean and Ryan to the park-”
“Grandma.” I interrupted before she could speak further. “I require alone time with Ryan.”
“Grandma, I think he’s right. I have spent a good alone time with Ryan, he needs it too.” I was kind of surprised as for the first time in two days she uttered something sensible.
“Grandma, please tie my shoelaces.” Ryan’s voice interrupted our conversation. “Come here, Ryan,” I said and tied his shoelaces. “Now we are ready. Let’s go.” I took his tiny hand in mine.
“Bye grandma, bye Lauren.” He grinned at them.
“Bye buddy, miss me.” Miss Hart replied.
We then headed out. “Where’s the park, uncle Sean?”
“Just down the street, Ryan. It’s a five-minute walk.”
We reached the park; it was crowded with people, some were doing exercise, some were playing with their kids and some were busy talking. I found an empty spot and took Ryan there.
“Okay, Ryan, we’ll do a little running before I give you a shoulder ride.” He declared and he nodded his head. “Okay then, you see that tree?” I pointed at the tree which was at ten meters distance from us. “We’ll run; touch the tree and come back. Do not run too fast, just jog, understood?”
“Yes, uncle Sean.”
“Now, on the count of one…two…three and go.” I began to jog but at a very low speed than I usually do, trying to match Ryan’s steps, still, I reached the tree first and came back first with Ryan following me with his tiny feet.
“You lost, Champion.” I declared, grinning.
“My legs are short, I can’t match your speed.” He pouted. “Now please give me the shoulder ride.”
“Okay, okay, come here.” I laughed and hoisted him up on my shoulders, making him sit at my neck; his legs hanging either side of my shoulder. “You comfortable?” I asked, raising my head.
“Yes! I’m taller, I can see far away now.” He started to jump on my shoulders.
“Okay, let’s go for a run,” I said and started running, holding him at the place. I circled the park, giving him the longest shoulder ride. He couldn’t stop laughing and I felt satisfied as it was his first real laughter I was hearing.
After taking two rounds of the park I put him down. “So, you like it?”
He jumped in excitement. “Yes, yes, yes. Even Aron’s father doesn’t give him this long ride. I got the longest one. Yay! Thank you, uncle Sean.” He circled his arms around my legs in excitement.
“You’re welcome, Ryan. Now you sit for a while and let me do some workout, okay?” He obliged and sat on the ground near me.
I did twenty sit-ups and had done only two push-ups when my eyes landed on Ryan who now had the same stance as me and was trying to do push-ups. “What are you doing, Ryan?” I asked in amusement when I saw him trying hard to push his hands down but failed.
“I’m trying to do what you’re doing. What is this called?” He forced every word as he still hadn’t given up. I laughed when he landed flat on the ground. I picked him up and adjusted him on my lap.
“These are called push-ups and you’re too young to do this, champ.” I brushed the dust on his knees.
“But I want to do push-ups like you.” He whined, looking at me with those adorable blue eyes; the same as me and my brother.
“You can when you grow up like me. For now, just watch me.” I kissed his cheek and again settled him on the ground.
I did two sets of ten burpees and stopped to rest for a minute and I again saw Ryan looking at me or rather looking past me. I followed his eyes and found a man doing push-ups with the child on his back and the child was looking at Ryan, teasing him by showing his tongue. I thought as a kid Ryan would tease him back but he was sitting with a frown. It wasn’t good for him. He must enjoy every little part of his childhood.
“Ryan, what are you looking at?” I asked intentionally. I wanted to know what was he thinking. To my surprise, he stood up and circled his small arms around my neck. “Ryan?” I whispered when I heard him sniffing.
“That boy is teasing me, uncle Sean. I wish I had my dad to play with as everyone does.”
I held him tightly. I swear I felt as if a dagger passed through my heart. I felt for him. He was missing his father; who wouldn’t? I was a grown-up man and I still missed the warmth and love of a father and Ryan was just a kid. He was missing a lot in his life but not anymore. I was there for him now.
I pulled him away from me and wiped his tears. “Hey, don’t cry, I told you that you have me now. I’ll play with you. Come, sit on my back; I’ll the same they are doing, I’ll do even better. Now smile for me?” I ruffled his hair.
He wiped his face again and smiled a little. I got into a position to do push-ups and asked him to climb on my back. As he did, I began doing push-ups, giving him a wavey ride. I felt relieved and satisfied when after five push-ups he started to enjoy; started laughing. He lied down on my back and circled my neck. It was only after twenty fifteen up and downs I stopped and he landed on his feet and started to tease the kid who was teasing him a while ago.
I sat leisurely on the ground and watched him laughing and teasing. That is what I wanted, his real self.
“Thank you, uncle Sean, you are the best and you are so strong.” He jumped on me, embracing me.
“I wish I had a dad like you. I wish you were my dad.”
This kid might have no idea what he had said but my heart skipped a beat. A flood of sentiments hit me with a force. My brother, Shane’s image flashed before my eyes and I wished he was alive. I wished Ryan didn’t have to go through this, I wished I could be an ounce like his dad. Shane was a good person, he was better than me.
I was getting emotional so I didn’t bring the topic up instead I smiled at him and told him we were heading back home.
“Can I get a piggyback ride?” He asked innocently.
“Whatever you like, champ. Hop on.” He jumped on my back and then we went back home. As soon as he slipped off me and landed on his feet, he shouted for grandma who came out of the kitchen.
“Grandma, you know uncle Sean is too strong. He gave me a shoulder ride, piggyback ride and he did push-ups with me on his back. He’s so cool. I want to become like him when I grow up. Strong and cool.” He rambled as he hugged her legs and didn’t let her move. She and I laughed at him.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it, Ryan. Now go in the room and remove your shoes then wash your hands.” She said and he ran into his room.
“I’m seeing him this much happier for the first time. You did a great job, Sean.” She smiled at me. I smiled back and walked to the kitchen to drink water-
“Hey, why everyone is laughing-whoa!” The trouble bumped into me while coming out of the kitchen and as a reflex action, my hands circled her waist to hold her in place and her hands fled to my shoulders, gripping them for support; our faces closer than they should be.
The warmth mixed with her scent shot foreign shudders throughout my body. This was the second time I had been closer to her, I could feel her racing heart and it wasn’t long before my eyes involuntarily traveled down from her big, brown eyes to her pointed nose then to her glossy, tempting lips…daring me to inch closer.
Her lips parted a little and I felt her hot breath directly on my lips, making it hard for me to control. I flicked my eyes back to hers and found her staring at me without blinking. Her eyes held the attraction I couldn’t resist. I didn’t know when my face started to get closer to hers and my lips just centimeters away when- the clearing of the throat from behind jerked us away.
“I…I… Sorry.” She said before walking past me. I too marched towards the fridge.
What the hell was I about to do? I almost kissed her! Fuck!
I gulped chilled water to calm down the burning sensation in my body that was awoken after a long time. But it was different from before, it was intense than ever before. I guess it was happening because it had been a long I had touched a woman.
I wanted to shower so I jogged out of the kitchen but halted when I found her talking to Ryan.
“Hey, buddy, did you miss me?” She asked to which he shook his head. “No, Lauren.” I almost laughed at his blunt reply.
“Ow, you wounded me, buddy.” She showed fake hurt. She sighed. “Though you hurt me by not missing me, I prepared breakfast for you. Come let’s fill your tummy.”
“No, Lauren, I’m not hungry. I’ll eat lunch.”
“No, no, no, no, Ryan, it’s not happening. You should not skip breakfast. You said you want to be strong like your uncle then you must eat breakfast to build up these muscles.” She squeezed his upper arms.
“Will breakfast really help me grow muscles?” He asked with wide eyes.
“Yep! You can ask your uncle.”
“Is it true, uncle Sean?” He came to me.
“Yes, champ. It’s true. Now go and have your breakfast.”
“You were right, Lauren.” He ran back to her and held her hand. “Told ya!” She replied and walked her to the kitchen.
I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Why was she talking sensibly? Her words to Ryan forced me to re-think about her. Why was she doing it?
“What are you looking at?” I jumped when I heard grandma’s voice from near me. I gulped as I saw her mischievous eyes. Good, what was I doing?
“I…I…need to shower,” I replied quickly and ran to my room, and groaned. I was getting insane. Insane by the number of questions echoing in my head- Why did her lips seem tempting to me? Why after so many years of working with her? Why her? Why all of a sudden? Why was I feeling strange? Stranger than ever!
I needed to calm down so, without wasting another minute I jumped into the shower. I breathed when cold water sprinkled on my head. Resting my hands on the wall, I pressed my head against the tiled wall. The cold water now hit the back of my neck, calming my senses.
The blocked thinking part of my brain opened, clearing my thoughts and my senses, and I chanted repeatedly.
“She’s crazy, she’s trouble, trouble, trouble, nothing else.”
I was satisfied with myself until a voice at the back of my head echoed that made me punch the wall in frustration.
“Trouble that managed to flip your insides.”