“I have been doing that for 30 years and no perversions have left these lips yet.” She said as if she disapproved but, was resigned to her place. She had an expression like a disappointed grandmother. She caught my drift immediately and her response left me cold. I wasn’t going to hire her so I covered my tracks.
“I was speaking of business dealings, Pam. Although, it is good to hear you are discreet.” I tried to remain neutral in my tone.
“I didn’t mean to insinuate anything Mr. Timmons. I was speaking of my past experiences.” She lost some of her confidence. She sensed that she answered incorrectly and was trying to undo her last statement. I wasn’t going to let on that her original read of my question was correct. We finished the rest of the interview cordially and I sent her on her way.
Bruce, the fourth interviewee was by far the best. He had been a butler to a very well connected family for many years. He ran their house with his wife and came with the perfect references and hand written letters of recommendation. The untimely death of his wife had driven him from his past position. He told me he kept expecting to see her around the house which kept him from moving on. He needed a new environment, away from his old memories. I asked the same question of him as I did of Pam.
“If you hire me to take care of the house sir, that would be my only concern. Everything else will be ignored.” He gestured around his surroundings, “a house of this size would keep me busy enough.” I sensed he knew the breath of my question and he answered perfectly. He told me that my business is my business and he would leave me to it. I wouldn’t have to walk around this man, he would walk around me. We talked a for about an hour and I was getting more certain that he was the one. He was looking for one last job, a ten year position where he could work until retirement. Perfect. We said our goodbyes and I left him with a positive impression of his prospects.
I had almost forgotten about my agreement with Tom when the doorbell rang at exactly seven. My first thought was to think how nice it would be to have Bruce answering the door. I sighed, it was only going to cost me an hour of my time and then I could get back my life. I moved to the front door to greet them and begin the last interview.
I opened the door and caught my breath. Before me stood two young women impeccably dressed in the exact same outfits. It made sense because from head to toe they were completely identical. Not only were they twins but, they were my dream twins. Someone went to an awful lot of trouble to set this up. I was once again suspicious of Tom’s motives.
They were both sporting very rich red hair pulled back severely into very cute buns. Their deep green eyes were covered with conservative metal framed glasses that gave the air of intelligence I found most intoxicating. They were wearing identical conservative smiles that were perfect for a first impression. Symmetrical cheeks, soft chins, rosy lips and cute little button noses sprinkled with freckles completed the look. Thier soft white blouses were conservative and obviously tailored. One stitch tighter and it would have moved from business to sexy. They were both wearing tan pencil skirts that terminated at the knee. Their gorgeous milky calves were exposed atop very nice yet conservative tan heels. I suddenly realized I was staring and hadn’t even said hello.
“Mr. Timmins, I believe we had an interview at seven.” The one on left said without releasing her smile or my eyes.
“Of course, of course,” I closed my mouth and attempted smile nicely, “you must be Samantha and Rebecca. Please come in.” I tried to send my mind back to business as I pointed the girls to the living room and followed them in. They both walked with the exact same confidence and looked just as fine from the rear as they did from the front. Athletically trim with a practiced stature. If anything, this interview will be visual treat. I motioned them to sit across from me on the couch as I picked up their resume and glanced at it to collect my thoughts. Their appearance was very disconcerting. For some reason I was expecting a less refined pair of ladies and certainly not twins. It caught me by surprise and threw me off my game so I tossed away my original plan of a phony interview and went straight for the truth.
I looked up from the resume, “I was rather surprised to get a resume with two names of on it for a position that requires only one. If it wasn’t for your references, I would have canceled this before it began.” I tried to leave the statement with an air of curiosity. I was expecting them to explain to me why they would ever apply for this job. They picked up on it immediately.
“Yes, Mr. Thornbird can be quite persuasive.” The one on the right spoke with the exact same voice as her sister. She was letting me know that she knew exactly why this interview was happening. “He is a dear family friend and is invaluable when it comes to introductions.”
“Please be assured Mr. Timmins, we are here of our own volition, not his.” This was added by the one on the left. Left, right, girl one, girl two, I smiled at my struggling internal listing system.
“I’m sorry, you both were not what I convinced myself to expect. I have been amiss in the introductions,” I tried to lighten up a bit and rebuild the interview aspect, “please call me Robert and which one of you is Rebecca and who is Samantha.” Both were sitting identically with dainty crossed legs and their hands in their laps.
The one on the left said, “I am Rebecca and of course my sister is Samantha.”
I was hoping they stayed right where they were so I could at least reference them by name without guessing. “Well, Rebecca and Samantha, why would two obviously well connected, well educated women want to take care of my house?” I felt kind of good putting them on the spot. Someone obviously was trying to make it hard on me. I could at least return the favor. I expected them to stutter through a response to the blunt question but Samantha answered confidently.
“We could interview with a large firm, even use our connections to guarantee a placement. We could use those same connections to seek out rich husbands. We desire neither.”
Rebecca pickup without missing a beat, “We prefer to be behind the scenes, together.” She smiled at her sister, “We are quite skilled at removing all impediments in life so that the successful can be more successful.”
Samantha took over again, “We dislike the limelight, in fact, we avoid it with vigor. We have no need of tremendous wealth but, we do enjoy our comforts.” She said this with a smile as she looked around the house briefly. Something didn’t make sense.
“Most of planet would consider your salary requirements as wealthy.” I said trying to poke holes in their statements. Rebecca chimed in.
“Wealth, as defined by those that do not possess it is very different than how you, or we, define it. We have become used to certain comforts. We are confident that we would earn our pay many times over.” Why this didn’t sound snobbish I wasn’t sure. Her delivery was smooth and confident without a hint disdain for the general population. I wasn’t close to accepting their arguments as a solution to the position but, I was curious.