53

ELEANOR
“Hello? Earth to Eleanor,” Clara’s voice brought me out of my reverie, and I blinked back to reality to find fingers snapping in front of my face. I winced, pushing her fingers away from my face as she offered me a concerned look.
“Jeez, you would have been in deep trouble if she hadn’t dismissed us. What’s wrong, El? You haven’t been yourself since you came back from Easton’s Pack. Is this still about what we discussed?”
“What? What did you both discuss?” Jasmine perked up from where she’d been surprisingly quiet, and I huffed quietly, knowing what would follow.
“She wants to end Zane’s life without following the plans,” Clara supplied, and I could see the exact moment it sank in for Jasmine.
“Are you crazy?!” She whisper-yelled, her mouth opening and closing incredulously. “That’s like asking to die! Do you have a death wish?!”
“Apparently, yes,” Clara deadpanned, and Jasmine continued before I could manage a reply.
“Why? What are you thinking? Did things not work out between you and Easton? Did he reject you? No, that can’t be the case because then you wouldn’t be back in one piece. So what’s wrong? Why are you trying to throw everything away when you can end this with Easton and finally go on to live a free life?” Jasmine asked, her voice softening towards the end.
“I’m tired,” I finally breathed out after a beat of silence. “It just feels like I’m walking in circles. Every day, I wake up to carry out a repeat of the last. All that I can think about is finally ending Zane, but it just feels like thinking and wishing is all that I can do. Nothing is changing, and it’s starting to look like it won’t, and that I’m just wasting my time. I just feel so helpless and hopeless, and I don’t want to keep living like this. I want this to end already. I need him dead and gone. The earlier he dies, the better for us all. Even if I don’t make it, you both will be free.” I answered truthfully.
“Again with this, Eleanor,” Clara groaned tiredly. “I have told you that none of us will be free. There’s no way they would just let us waltz out of here after murdering their Alpha. You know this. You can’t continue to try and comfort yourself with that when it’s obvious they would wipe us all out without a second of remorse. I understand if you feel caught in a loop right now, but opting to die a foolish death is not the right thing.”
“Then what would you have me do?” I asked. “Continue to live with his threats hanging above my head and being nothing more than a pleasure doll? Until when, Clara?”
“It’s different this time, Eleanor,” Jasmine added hurriedly. “We have a chance to fight because we will have Easton on our side. Things will start to look up once we have his full cooperation, I promise. We just have to find a way to catch him up fully.”
I knew Jasmine’s words were meant to be encouraging, but they did the exact opposite of what she’d intended. It was easy for them to say and imagine because the entire weight of our plans didn’t rest on their shoulders. It wasn’t easy when my revenge was mine alone, but knowing the fate of everyone from my pack who’d ended up here now rested on my shoulders made it feel even more suffocating and heavier to bear.
Now I had to think about everybody else, protect and be responsible for my pack members because I was their Alpha. I should’ve never been one. It would have been better if I was born an omega, a beta, or even a sentinel. I found myself selfishly wishing my identity hadn’t been exposed too because then my revenge would’ve been mine alone.
I could’ve just slit that monster’s throat on any one of the nights he would have his way with me, and if I failed to escape, I would’ve died alone, and that would’ve been it but it wasn’t. I’d gone ahead to make a promise to free them too, and now I couldn’t suppress the feelings of guilt that came with my regrets.
“Please, Eleanor, for yourself and for everyone involved. Can you please not make any rash decisions? We’ll work this out, I’m sure,” Clara pleaded, and I replied with a nod and a press of my lips, forcing a smile.
“I promise not to put any of you in harm’s way for my selfish reasons. Thank you,” I said, facing both of them. Jasmine took my hands with a solemn look.
“Eleanor, if the burden is too great for you to bear, you can always come to us. You don’t have to carry it all on your own,” she said, and I nodded, finally managing a smile. It wasn’t suddenly all rainbows and unicorns, but I was glad for my friends. Sometimes, thanks to them, my negative thoughts hadn’t consumed me completely.
“You don’t have to worry. Thank you both for always being there.” They both smiled, and when Jasmine finally took a step back, I cleared my throat. “I should get to my duties now,” I said, making to leave when a call of my name halted me in my steps.
“You’re on kitchen duties with Jasmine and me. We’re to monitor the girls in charge of cooking, maybe do some prep while at it, but we’re not obligated to. It’s our reward for a job well done,” Clara supplied with a smile, and I offered one of my own in response, internally mourning the loss of the alone time I thought I’d have away from them.
It was one of those days when talking and even listening grated my senses to the point of overstimulation. There was nothing I wanted more than to be left alone to pour all my pent-up anger and frustration into cleaning or scrubbing, but it looked like the universe hated me so much that it couldn’t bear to give me a few hours of respite. Coupled with being surrounded by chatter, it looked like I had no real duties to tend to today. Staying idle would give room to unwanted thoughts that would have me depressed and feeling mentally drained.
I couldn’t go meet the head of slaves to assign me some real duties, as that would give room for questions I didn’t have answers to, and if she was in a bad enough mood, I could get punished for trying to question her authority. With a regretful sigh, I dragged my feet behind them while they chattered away.
They seemed relaxed enough, blind to the real state of my mind. If only they could stop thinking about the greater good and really look at me-not at my face because it was all a pretense but at my heart-if they looked deeply enough, they would be able to tell that the pain and desperation were slowly eating away at me. Maybe I had myself to blame for getting good enough at bottling everything up, but I really wished, for once, that I could be saved and not the one doing the saving.
Suddenly, a loud scream was heard, and the next thing I knew, I was being enveloped in a bone-crushing hug. I let out a sound of surprise before the familiar pheromones reached my nose, and I sighed, only just relaxing into the hug when she pulled away. The huge smile on her face lifted my spirits a little.
“I missed you so much, Alpha,” Diane started, her tone dropping considerably at the last word. “Everyone has been at a standstill since the news of the truce. It’s so sad to hear that it was a success. I wanted it to fail so badly,” she huffed, annoyed. “Alpha Easton could have easily defeated Alpha Zane and freed us,” Diane said, oblivious to the shared look of surprise passed amongst us at the mention of Easton.
“How would you be so sure that Alpha Easton would defeat Zane and not the other way around?” Jasmine asked conversationally, and Diane scoffed.
“Who hasn’t heard the great tales of Alpha Easton’s achievements and the fact that Alpha Zane had been the one to pursue a truce? Obviously, without Alpha Easton, there wouldn’t be an Alpha Zane. The tales are a sure way to know that he’s all-powerful, but he also avoids trouble, which would explain why he hasn’t come for Alpha Zane. I don’t blame him. He wouldn’t want to risk the lives of his warriors over matters that don’t concern him. I think this truce will also be beneficial to him. I guess that’s why he didn’t bother making a move earlier, don’t you think?”
I hadn’t found the right words to reply with when Jasmine spoke up again. “Tales are just tales, Diane. What if all of those are made up and Alpha Zane ends up defeating him? Then his people would be slaughtered, and the young girls turned into slaves. You wouldn’t want them to end up like us, would you?” Jasmine asked, and Diane quickly shook her head.
“Of course not. I wish for everybody to be free and happy. That’s why we need our Alpha. You are the only one who can save us now, and without you, we would have no hope at all.” Diane turned to face me with a hopeful smile, taking my hand into hers. “You told us to have faith and that everything would be okay. We are holding on, Alpha, but some of us are starting to become restless. We need answers, Alpha. Do we continue to stand firm in faith or let go and start to accept this to be our reality?” she asked, her voice taking on an emotional note.
She was right; waiting without answers was bound to become unbearable and tiring, and even I would have given up. It gave me a little courage to know that my people were willing to look to me as a beacon of hope, and now the guilt from before, of me wanting to selfishly put all their lives on the line, hit me harder.
This was no time to falter. Whether I wanted it or not, I was a leader in their eyes, and I owed it to my parents to not let everything they fought for die under my watch. I should let them know that we’d found something that could change the entire game. I was going to use Easton and his pack members for my gain, I was going to beg them for help if it came to that. I was going to free everyone and end Zane’s life and then everyone involved in the buying and selling of innocent people like wares.
“There’s-”
“We are still looking into it, Diane. Rest assured that once we find something that will pull us all out of this hellhole, we will definitely let you know. We would need all the help we can get anyways,” Clara intercepted hastily, and I had to not let my bewilderment show at the sudden turn of events. It looked like both of them were trying to keep Easton from everyone else. But why?
“Thank you,” I heard Diane say. “You have no idea how much it means to know you’re fighting for us. We won’t give up, and you should know that we are with you till the end,” she finished with a bow of her head and looked at me with a grateful smile before leaving. When she completely disappeared from sight, I turned to Clara, who had her eyes fixed on the spot where Diane had just been.
“What was that for?” I asked. “Why are you keeping the truth from them? You know we are closer to help than before. You said it yourself that we’re going to need all the help we can get, and these are the people who suffer the same fate as us. So why…?”
“Because… we didn’t know who was completely on our side yet. We shouldn’t just trust people. Not everybody who smiles at you is with you,” Jasmine explained, and I scoffed.
“For Goddess’ sake, Jasmine, these aren’t just people, they’re my people. They wouldn’t go against their Alpha. There is a code for that, and they won’t betray it,” I argued back, and it was Jasmine’s turn to give me a deadpan look.
“A lot of things can happen in this pack to make a wolf go insane, Eleanor. It can make good people become bad,” she replied.
“That’s why we needed to keep everything a secret until we got the confirmation we needed from Easton. It’s better to be safe than end up with regrets,” Clara added softly before leaning in to leave a soft kiss on my forehead. “Everything will be okay. We will be safe. I hope you’re able to open up more and that you feel better soon. For now, just… try and enjoy the party.”