48

ELEANOR
I felt my body go numb, my entire world pulling to an abrupt halt. Left with no other choice, I had followed him with a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts making rounds in my head and at the last minute, I’d decided on the one that seemed the most safe and believable. If he was as much of a gentleman as Jasmine and Clara believed he was, then there was no way he would be able to ignore a defenseless woman’s tears, especially not one they’d been so certain he still harbored feelings for.
That had been the plan, pretend to be weak, show him a tear or two and leave it up to his reaction to decide my next line of action. It was full proof, at least it had been in my head, that there were not a lot of things that could go wrong. The worst-case scenario, he’d agree to punish me or throw me out of his presence, none of which I couldn’t handle.
But in the most unexpected turn of events, I’d been pressed tightly against his firm chest with his low voice whispering soothing words that I dreaded to describe as sweet, nothing into my ear, his other hand that wasn’t keeping me pinned against him as gently as possible, trailing down the length of my hair, almost hesitantly at first, until it got bolder. Even as more time passed, his voice never died out, almost like he was sure he wouldn’t run out of things to say, and just like that, his reassuring words, gentle hands and warm presence had me breaking down in his arms.
His words, carefully selected as they were, seemed to be exactly what I’d been craving to hear for a long time. The weight on my shoulders felt less heavy than ever and my chest was lighter, and like I’d been wanting to for a while now, I melted into the comforting arms that seemed to hold my shattering pieces together.
It felt just like yesterday that I’d wished so badly for the comforting presence of my mother, her wise words and a warm embrace to rebuild my rapidly draining energy and rekindle my dwindling hope. For some reason, this felt just like that, albeit a little different, I was sure, but just the mention of his unwavering presence and promise to protect me from anything, whatever it may be, reduces me into a sobbing mess only held up by his strong arm and body, thinking back to the times when I’d begged and wished with all I had that I could find such a presence in my pathetic excuse of a life. I had thought of numerous outcomes for this meeting but not once did I expect this.
I wasn’t expecting him to be so kind to me despite everything I said to him. Hearing his words, it sounded like he harbored not a thread of hate or malice in his heart for me. I couldn’t help but wonder why. Why, why why? Why was he being like this? Why was I being like this? Why was this meeting quickly swerving out of my control? I shouldn’t be letting this happen. I shouldn’t allow whatever emotions he was evoking in me to get deep, or I would be inviting trouble. He was to be a pawn in my game of revenge, no more than that.
“Mate!” I heard Alpine whine through the mindlink, just as I heard another small shushing sound from the body I was cradled against, “He is real, he is ours to claim,” her voice echoes through the mindlink, sure and elated.
“He isn’t ours to claim, Alpine. We’re here because we want to use him. We need him for our revenge, so can we please just focus on that for now?” I could tell she had an argument right on the tip of her tongue, but now wasn’t the time for that. Without missing a beat, I cut off the mindlink, not leaving room for more distractions.
Reminded of the current situation, I slowly pushed away from Easton, sniffling as his arm fell from around me, letting me put some distance between us. “I’m sorry,” I apologized immediately, eyeing a wet spot, no doubt formed by my tears and snot right in the front of his clothes. “I’ve ruined your ceremonial clothes.” I elaborate and visibly see as he relaxes, not even sparing a glance at it.
“I should be the one apologizing….. for holding you against your will,” he counters and I faked a smile.
“You don’t have to apologize. I’m used to people holding me against my will,” I brushed it off and heard a low growl escape his lips, his brows pulling together.
“I’m not other people, I would never hold you against your will. I apologized because I could tell right from wrong, and it was wrong of me to do that. This isn’t the Blood Moon pack. Here, you have the right to refuse and voice your discomfort if you’re ever in an uncomfortable position. We would never take away your freedom of choice and speech, ever.” Easton says, and I smile sadly, as if I needed even more reasons to prefer it here than at Zane’s cursed prison.
He continues rambling on about all the benefits of belonging in the Crescent pack, each point only increasing the ache I felt at not having the free will to just stay and never have to go back to my cage. He spares a smile every now and then, his words taking a turn and just melding into stories about his own adventures and certain happenings that’d led to the existence of certain rules within the pack and I had no idea when it happened, but I was suddenly so invested in his tales, completely forgetting about the mission at hand and the fact that we were both currently missing an official sitting until Zane’s name was mentioned somewhere in his stories and that completely shatters the fairytale world I’d been living in, completely ruining the moment I’d quickly decided I wouldn’t mind getting used to.
“I should head back now …it’s been a while and I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of Beta Mark’s scolding.” I quickly cut in before he could delve into another story, bowing quickly as I turned around, ready to hightail it out of there but was stopped by a firm grip around my wrist.
“Be mine, Eleanor.” he suddenly blurts out, catching me completely off guard. I hadn’t managed to wrestle a reply out of my scrambled mess of a brain when he continued hurriedly. “I’m aware of your troubles and concerns and I know it hasn’t been easy for you at all. I can feel everything, being this close to you and that only works to cement my decision, Eleanor, I can’t accept your rejection or even dream of rejecting you. I can’t because you are my destined mate, written for me by the Moon Goddess, to protect, to treasure, to love and to cherish for as long as I live, and I want to. I want to do all of that and more if you would just let me. I can take you off his hands, give you a life here, let you have all the time you could need to make a decision about us, I promise. I just need you to say the words, Eleanor.” it was the first time in my entire life I’d been subject to such a raw confession and I could feel my resolve weaken, growing weaker by his heavy gaze and gentle, yet firm hold where he had me rooted to my spot after gently tugging at my wrist until I was facing him again.
This was it, Eleanor, this was the perfect time to speak up, to lay out your cards, and let him in on everything. He was full of promises and he just might be willing to add your terms to his already long list. This would’ve been the perfect timing, except, I couldn’t get myself to say a single thing. Not the answer he looked to be desperately waiting for, and definitely not a rundown of my plans to end Zane’s reign of terror once and for all.
Everything suddenly felt all too much. His words, abrupt as they were for me, felt like they’d all been carefully hand-picked in a quest to get me to consider them no matter what. It was like he’d rehearsed for this, telling me what he was sure I needed to hear to have me dropping to his feet, but that shouldn’t have been so hard for me, seeing as I’d already gone ahead of myself, imagining a life of freedom in a pack as highly spoken of as his, but, there was too much at stake to be making such a hasty decision on a whim. Zane’s animalistic possessiveness was one that spoke for itself and Easton’s offer was, no doubt, one that would entail just sitting back and waiting for Zane to attack after getting news of my defaulting.
Zane would wage a war in a fit of rage. That much was obvious and even if Easton could counter an attack, his pack and its people would suffer. The guilt and self-reproach would be for me to handle if that were to happen. If there was going to be bloodshed, it should be in the Blood Moon pack, and it should be Zane’s, and maybe mine, if it comes to it, but nobody else’s.
“Eleanor, plea-”
“No, Easton… you don’t know what you’re asking. You should just leave me be, I am bad news….. I- I’ll only ruin you.” I tell him, and he snaps his eyes shut, nostrils flaring.
“Ruin me!?” He began, his calm demeanor almost none chilling, “I’m already ruined without you. I was ruined the moment you rejected me. Need I remind you of our encounter the other night? Your blatant refusal to even consider the possibility of us and not considering how I felt about that? For as long as I can remember, I’d craved nothing more desperately than to find you, and I did find you….. in the most unexpected of places, dressed in filthy rags, and it just seemed to go downhill from there again. Why won’t you ju-”
“I’m sorry!” I intercepted before he could finish his words, laced with hurt, “I hadn’t meant to be rude to you that night. I was trying to protect you.”
“Protect me?” Easton repeated blankly and I nodded.
“Zane, he ….. he’s a monster. I didn’t want you to suffer and have your people suffer all because of me. I didn’t want to have the blood of innocent people on my hands. I have enough on my plate already and you just….. weren’t part of the plan. It was going to be too much for me to handle.” I confessed quietly, his eyes growing impossibly softer.
I had no idea when or how it happened, but I suddenly felt a need to be understood by him. I hadn’t felt it on the night of our first encounter, but now, I needed him to see that my intentions hadn’t been to hurt, a stark opposite of it, in actuality. I also hadn’t realized that my body went lax in his hold. The tension and need to get away had dissolved into nothing and as much as I wouldn’t admit it out loud, I wanted this to drag on even longer, if only to keep feeling as peaceful and oddly safe as I did in his presence.
“And now?” He asks after a beat of silence. A confused frown took over my face, so he elaborated, “Do you still see me as a weakling who needs to be protected from Zane?” He asked, jaw tense and I shook my head with a sense of urgency.
“No. I know better now. You’re not a weakling and even Zane might be wary of you even if he doesn’t show it,” I answered truthfully and did not miss the slightest hint of a smile curving up his features. The little compliment must have had an effect on him.
“Still….” I continued, “I don’t want you and your pack to be put in harm’s way because of me. I’m sorry if my words hurt you, but, I was only being truthful. I do not have the luxury of seeking love or anything of the sort. Loving or desiring me is a waste of time and putting your life on the line for me would be too unfair to you, especially when I would only just be using you for my own selfish gains. I’m-”
“Eleanor, look at me,” his words were but a whisper, spoken just for my ears in our close proximity, but they were enough to force my heart to a halt. I wasn’t aware I’d been avoiding his eyes until his free hand was cradling my face, long fingers tilting my chin up.
His eyes locked into mine and I felt a tremor run through my body. Leaning into his touch despite warning myself against exactly that. These sensations had been absent during our first meeting. I wondered why he suddenly had such an effect on me.
“You were rambling just now.” He smiled, his smile almost playful, and I let out a shaky exhalation, reeling myself back in. A finger taps lightly on my chin, recalling my attention before he resumes speaking, tone serious as he says with such finality that it almost had my head spinning, “Nothing matters to me more than you right now, Eleanor. I made the conscious decision to stay by your side and, with your permission, nothing on this Earth and even beyond would stop me. I don’t care if you use me for whatever purpose, I will be fine as long as I get to remain by your side. I’ll be fulfilled seeing you happy and sharing that happiness with you.”
‘Good goddess’ I cried internally, feeling his words grip my heart almost violently. This was way more than I could’ve ever imagined, but for some reason, I could no longer bring myself to push against it.
“E- Easton,” I called, struggling for what would be deemed an appropriate reply for such an intense exchange. With the call of his name, a smile stretched over his features, “Please…” I whispered lowly, and he shook his head as he leaned in, his eyes shining with determination.
“Tell me what you want, Eleanor. Every single one of your desires and I will bring them to life. I would go to the ends of the earth to see that you’re content. You can have everything I’ve ever owned if that’s what it would take. You could ask me to wipe out a whole army of men and that’s just what you’d have to do …ask, and I’ll have their heads on spikes waiting for you and you wouldn’t even have to lift a finger. I’ll do everything without asking a single thing in return except that you make me yours, Eleanor.”
Entranced and utterly captivated by his words that promised an undying devotion, with his ever-expressive eyes performing the final ritual ensuring my entrapment, I had less than a sliver of a second to react before he was breathing his next words against my parted lips, a low whisper of an “I love you”, my name at the end serving the final blow that knocks all the air out of my lungs before he was decisively pressing his lips against mine.