Connor fucked some girl last night- well, I guess she isn’t some girl… They seem to have history together.
I-I-I… my, er… my cellphone. I ended up whispering. The girl giggled a little, causing me to snap my head up in her direction. Her delicate hand wrapped around Connor’s as she watched me, that same mischievous sparkle in her eyes. I frowned and dug my nails into my hand in attempt to distract myself.
I don’t know where it is. Connor said dully. As if i had left, he turned to the other girl, whispering into her ear.
My jaw dropped as she looked me up and down, giggling and nodding to whatever Connor said. I looked down at my t-shirt and fuzzy shorts, and the neon flip flops I was wearing.
Wow. I looked like an idiot.
Feeling extremely self conscious, and wrapped my arms around my body, biting my lip nervously. Connor pulled away from the girl, an annoyed expression clouding his once happy one when he realized I was still there.
What could you possibly want now ? He hissed, his eyes dark and angry. I shrunk back a little at his tone, my stomach twisting in different directions.
M-my phone. I stammered.
H-her phone. Blondie mimicked me, causing Connor to laugh and grin. The sickening sensation in my stomach quickly disappeared, pure anger and annoyance taking over.
Yes, you fucking bitch. I am here for my god damn phone. I snarled, shoving past them and through Connor’s opened door. I couldn’t help but enjoy their shocked expressions by my sudden outburst. I did a quick double take when I saw house trashed his house was. Remembering what I needed, I headed out the back door. Welcomed by the cold gust of air, I shivered uncontrollably as I looked for my jeans.
You can’t callme a fucking bitch. I turned around to see a now pissed blonde, Connor standing behind her.
I scoffed, turning back to look around. Oh really ? Why not ? I asked, miraculously spotting my ripped jeans in a bush in the back. As I reached it, I numbly grabbed my jeans.
You’re just mad because you’re jealous. I completely froze. My heart had stopped beating and my mouth turned to cotton.
Yeah… you’re jealous. Amusement lacing her tone. I couldn’t speak, only shake my head in a desperate attempt to say no. With shaking fingers I struggled to undo the zipper for the pocket on my pants.
Just get your phone and leave, I told myself, my heart now beating rapidly.
I’m not jealous. I spat out, gripped my jeans tightly in my hands as I glared at her. She stared at me, her expression blank. Annoyed, I began struggling to get my phone out once again.
Yes you are. She said.
That did it- I snapped. Flinging my jeans onto the soft patch of grass next to me, I crossed my arms angrily and glared at her.
I know when I’m jealous- and right now, I’m not. I hissed, my eyes narrowing.
Maybe so… She said trailing off thoughtfully. But you’d be lying if you said you were never jealous- like last night ? That was…
I held my breath, my nails cutting into my skin.
Priceless. She finished with a smirk, turning back to Connor and wrapping her arms around his neck.
The pain was excruciating.
Jealous ? I really wasn’t.
Hurt ? Beyond repair.
Let’s face it- I let myself fall into Connor’s charm. And this pain ? This hurt ? It’s just the price I have to pay.
Completely ignoring the fact I was leaving my jeans, I quickly walked back to them, hesitating slightly before walking past them. Just before I reached the front door, I turned back. They were staring at me, unreadable expressions.
Why ? I asked, hating myself for how weak and dejected my voice sounded. For the third time, my nails dug into my palm, waiting for his answer.
Connor shrugged and with a cold smirk he spoke the five words that had been haunting me ever since… you know who. You’re just not good enough.
Broken.
I felt broken.
Suddenly a sharp pain went through my hand, causing me to gasp. I lifted my hand just as the blood began dripping from my cuts.
Oh my- I looked up to see the now shocked expressions of Connor and that girl.
I’m not good enough. My voice cracked, tears that I had been fighting off were now cascading over my face. Without another word, I flung open the door, sprinting away. Ignoring Jess’s questioning yells, I ran blindly through the streets, not once stopping to look back.
Seeing an empty park, I collapsed onto the cold ground, curling into a ball and sobbing.
I hate myself- i hated the way I let Connor’s- well Sam’s words, get to me.
Looking at the blood on my palm, I realized something.
I deserved this.
Jess’s POV
What did you do to her ? I snarled, clenching my fists together.
I-I nothing ! Connor said, his eyes wide.
Nothing ? I shrieked incredulously. I was breathing heavily after trying to chase after Bella, but had to give up and chose to find out what happened. You honestly expect me to believe that ? I took a small step back as Connor’s eyes narrowed, and anger crept into his expression.
What makes you think you can just yell at me like that ? He hissed out, taking a menacing step forward. I lost all previous confidence as I took another step back, Connor mirroring my movements. I looked at the girl for help, only to realize she wasn’t standing there anymore.
Well ? He was so close now, my heart was pounding with fear.
I had forgotten how scary he really is- how intimidating he can be.
You have no right to hurt my best friend. I said in a mere whisper, feeling the pillar on his porch graze my back. Connor scoffed, and looked away for a moment. When he looked back- well let’s just say, he didn’t look too happy. Before I coulees stop myself, I took another step back, pressing myself up against the pillar. Connor took that to advantage and leaned in, trapping me.
So when she hurt me, it was okay ? I gulped, and pressed myself closer into the pillar.
W-what are you t-t-talking about ? I stammered, my heart racing. A cold smile appeared on Connor’s face.
You’re best friend isn’t as perfect as you think. Seems like I’m not the only one who toys with people’s emotions. He said, his voice hard and icy. I stared at him, completely confused- and scared.