Fury.
The next thing I knew, I was crumbled up on the ground, with a throbbing cheek. It felt as if a car had hit my face. But like I said, I was fifteen. I was too stupid and naive to leave Sam. No… the beatings continued, until the car incident. He accused me of flirting with another guy, and I ended up being abandoned on the side of the road with a concussion, two broken ribs, a black eye, and a broken arm.
Bella ? I felt a hand on my leg, causing me to let out a startled shriek as my eyes flew open. I looked up to see a worried Connor crouching down in front of the bench.
Why are you crying ? He asked, his hand stroking my cheek. I instantly pulled away, my hands brushing underneath my eyes.
Awkward…
I- I- I’m fine. I stammered, my whole body trembling. Connor scoffed, straightening up.
No you’re not. He said, looking down at me. I looked away, taking deep breaths to calm myself down.
Yes I-
You went bi-polar and then sprinted off to god knows where, and then I found you crying and curled up on a bench in the woods. So really, continue with your bullshit and tell me your fine, it’s entertaining. I looked up at him in shock.
Why do you care ? Huh ? I snapped, standing up.
I-
No, I snapped, cutting him off. You have no right to act like I need to tell you anything. I barely even know you.
Well that’s what we were supposed to do today ! Connor snapped in defense. I barked out a short, sarcastic laugh.
You took me to McDonalds. I hissed out, getting in his face.
I’m sorry, okay ? I’m not good at this. He sighed, looking down. I hesitated for a moment. Did he just say he was sorry ? Wait. It’s Connor.
I wonder why. I said sarcastically. His head snapped up and he glared at me. I could see the annoyance and anger in his eyes.
What’s that supposed to mean ? He asked, his tone low and dark.
You’re not good at actually getting to know girls because you never have to ! All you do is fuck around. Honestly, I doubt- no, I know that you’ve never just talked to a girl without fucking her afterwards. I was breathing heavily after my little rant. I watched as Connor narrowed his eyes.
You know nothing about me. He spat out, turning to leave.
Look who’s running off now. I said, the anger fueling my courage to speak out like that. Connor whirled around, nearly knocking me over.
Oh so now you want to bond and shit ? He asked, leaning down. I willed myself to not cower away, like I oh so badly wanted to do.
I don’t see why I have to tell you all these things about myself when you won’t do the same. I snapped, crossing my arms.
I’m not the one who turned into some psychotic demon this morning. Connor stated. I flinched at that, all previous steam from my anger lost.
What was that all about ? Connor snapped, not noticing my uncomfortable silence.
Well ?’ He asked, raising his voice. I flinched again, backing away slightly. This time Connor noticed and he frowned.
You act like I’m going to hurt you. He whispered, looking at me with a hurt expression. I stared at him in surprise, guilt forming inside of me.
Why do you always do that ? He asked, his voice soft, almost pleading me to tell. Trust me, I was so tempted to just spill out everything right then and there, but I couldn’t trust him.
Connor, I can’t. I said quietly, staring at the ground. I numbly pushed past him ; heading back to what I hoped was the direction of the car.
But you’d tell Liam. I should have ignored that and continue to walk away, but I didn’t- I couldn’t.
What makes you say that ? Huh ? Why would you even care if I did ? I snapped, turning around. I managed to hold my ground as Connor advanced upon me, only stopping when he was right up in my face, causing me to tilt my head up to look him in the eye.
You say you won’t tell me because you barely know me, so what’s your excuse for Liam ? You barely know him, and from what I’ve heard, it seems you two have gotten pretty close.
Maybe because despite what you say, Liam is a good person. I would tell him things because he actually wants to get to know me- not get in my pants. I snapped, glaring at Connor.
Did it ever occur to you that maybe I wanted to get to know you too ? That maybe, just maybe there was a slim chance that this wasn’t all an act ? Connor asked, his tone surprisingly calm. His questions took me by surprise, leaving me speechless.
But- well, …. If you really wanted to get to know me better, why take me to McDonalds ? I asked. Connor sighed and looked away for a moment, before looking back at me.
I told you, I’m not good at this.
Well whose fault-
But I put myself out there. He said, cutting me off. Look, it’s obvious that I’m not good at getting to actually know someone, even I knew that. But I took a chance with you. I know it was an awful attempt, but you can’t act like I never tried.
Now I was really speechless. I watched as Connor looked down, trying to hide the light blush that had formed on his cheeks. So many question were running through my mind that I didn’t know how to respond.
This was a waste of time. I’m sorry for making you ditch school, it won’t happen again. He muttered, turning away. I reached out to stop him, but found myself stopping and pulling back. I mean, what was I going to do ? Hug him ? I sighed and followed him to the car.
35 minutes later
Thirty-five minutes of the most uncomfortable silence in the world. He never once looked at me, not even a sly glance. No… It was me this time. I kept looking at him, unsure if I should try to start a conversation or not. After he parked in his driveway, he unlocked his front door for me so that I could grab my clothes from the dryer.
Why was I being such an idiot, I asked myself as I walked into the laundry room. Connor Michaels put himself out there for me, and I couldn’t even mutter a thank you ? I scolded myself as I grabbed my clothes, heading back downstairs.