If he stopped searching now, he could still deceive himself into thinking he was simply unable to find Winifred Dawson, rather than facing the reality that she might already be dead.
Henry was still a bit uneasy. “Will you suddenly decide to look for her again in the future and assign me…”
Seeing through Henry’s concern, Leland Burns emphasized, “I won’t look for her anymore. I won’t inquire about her… Let’s just pretend she doesn’t exist.”
Henry looked at Leland Burns skeptically, sizing him up. He extended his right hand and raised two fingers. “Boss, how many fingers am I holding up?”
“…”
“That’s enough!” Wesley stepped forward and knocked on Henry’s head.
Henry covered his head, now certain that Leland Burns was serious and not just saying it casually.
Leland Burns didn’t look well; after all, he was still sick. Wesley spoke on Henry’s behalf, “Mr. Burns, he didn’t mean it. Please don’t take it to heart.”
Leland Burns shook his head. “You guys go ahead and get busy. Rest well when you get home.”
“Then we’ll be leaving,” Wesley said, pulling Henry’s arm as they walked out.
Once they left, the room became quiet, the oppressive atmosphere filling the space, leaving him with nowhere to hide. No matter how relaxed he appeared on the surface, he couldn’t mask the sadness inside.
He held a ring in his hand and muttered to himself, “No more searching… never again…”
Leland Burns only stayed in the hospital for a day before arranging with his assistant to handle the discharge procedures.
Coincidentally, Garrison Reeves was also at this hospital. One of his ribs had indeed been broken by Leland Burns’ kick; the doctor said it was quite risky.
Ms. Protich had caught a fever from being in the rain for so long and was receiving an IV treatment at the hospital. Leland Burns had his assistant check on her condition; knowing she was fine, he left the hospital.
Back at Autumn Joy Estate, he strung the ring on a cord and wore it around his neck. He tested the cord’s strength; unless someone deliberately untied it, the ring wouldn’t fall off.
Since deciding not to search for Winifred Dawson anymore, Leland Burns felt an emptiness inside, as if something essential was missing from his life.
He still subconsciously wanted to ask Henry if there were any leads on Winifred Dawson. Each time he opened the chat window and typed her name, he would suddenly remember that he had already instructed Henry to stop looking for her.
Something had subtly taken over his life; he often experienced auditory hallucinations of Winifred Dawson calling his name. Even though no one else was in the room, he could always feel her presence.
He knew that Winifred Dawson was gone and that he might never see her again. What he should do now was forget her and banish her from his life.
But he couldn’t do it. When he wasn’t deliberately thinking about her, Winifred Dawson would hide in a corner of his heart, occasionally causing him pain but sometimes bringing an inexplicable softness.
After Ms. Protich was discharged from the hospital, Leland Burns told her about giving up the search for Winifred Dawson.
“You should leave now; I’m not looking for her anymore.”
“Not looking? But it’s not even three months yet? Why give up now? What if you find her?”
“For me, it’s all the same. Continuing to search is just a waste of my time. If she doesn’t want to come out herself, no matter how many people I assign or how much time I spend, it’s useless.”
Ms. Protich paused for a moment. From Leland Burns’ words, she understood that he wasn’t giving up because he believed Winifred Dawson was dead but because he thought she was deliberately hiding from him.
She wasn’t sure if Leland Burns was letting Winifred Dawson go or deceiving himself.
Maybe it was both; Leland Burns might have just found a way to comfort himself by living more comfortably.
Ms. Protich didn’t know what else to say. Whether or not Leland Burns searched for Winifred Dawson was his own business; as an outsider, she couldn’t decide for him and certainly couldn’t force him to continue searching.
She herself wasn’t capable enough; if she had Leland Burns’ abilities, she would have searched herself.
Relying on others is not as good as relying on oneself-Ms. Protich suddenly remembered what Winifred Dawson had once told her.
It’s comfortable under a big tree’s shade but hard for flowers to grow beneath it.
Ms. Protich had intended to sigh inwardly but couldn’t help letting out a sigh aloud. Realizing what she’d done too late, she quickly pressed her lips together and glanced at Leland Burns only to find him staring at her too.
Having lived with Leland Burns for so long, Ms. Protich gradually understood his temperament. She could only say that Leland Burns was still a good person-at least not bad towards her-but she never felt comfortable around him; she would always be nervous and afraid.
Leland Burns’ mood was hard to read-unpredictable-and it seemed like each day passed with uncertainty whether he’d be happy or not.
Leland Burns said, “I’ve given up searching for Winifred Dawson here; you should leave too. Staying here won’t bring any news of her anyway. I thought keeping you here might lure her out… but I underestimated her.”
“But…” Ms. Protich hesitated.
“No buts! When I tell you to leave, you leave! Staying here will only annoy me! I like peace and quiet; I don’t want another person here!”
Ms. Protich felt inexplicably scolded and looked downcast. She thought their relationship had gotten closer-not as close as hers with Winifred Dawson-but she’d been taking care of Leland Burns diligently despite their age difference.
But reality proved that no matter how much she did, she could never get close to Leland Burns; despite his young age, his aura overshadowed everything else about him-his actions were more seasoned than someone nearly fifty years old like herself.
No matter how long she stayed here, there would always be a barrier between them. Now that Leland Burns wanted her gone, she had nothing to say; she’d been here long enough-it was time to leave anyway.
Staying here had been about getting news of Winifred Dawson more conveniently; now that Leland Burns had given up searching, there wasn’t much point in staying anymore.
With a hoarse voice, Ms. Protich said, “I’ll move out today.”
Leland Burns didn’t respond and looked away.
Ms. Protich lingered for a moment longer before deciding to say something else to him softly: “Mr. Burns, please take care of yourself in the future-eat on time and don’t starve yourself into illness. Remember not to drink or smoke anymore; you’ve managed without them these past two months just fine-quit if you can since both harm your health. If you ever miss my cooking just call me-I’ll come cook for you anytime. The weather is getting colder now so wear more layers; don’t drive when you’re tired-sleep early instead of working late into the night-and rest when you’re exhausted instead of staying up late… Also remember to go see a doctor when you’re feeling unwell-don’t think it’ll pass by itself because small illnesses can easily become big problems if ignored… If there’s anything bothering you-and if you trust me-you can call me anytime-I promise I’ll listen carefully…”