With a loud scream, I shot off the bed, taking the covers with me, to wrap around my body tightly, instinctively safeguarding my trembling body that was abnormally drenched in a cold sweat. I racked my eyes around the dark room in frantic pants, enhancing my sight as though expecting anyone or anything to jump out of the darkness and catch me.
So it was all a nightmare?
I lifted the cover and glanced at my nightwear, closing my eyes to sigh in relief. What a dream. Taking note of my itching throat I climbed out of the bed to the vanity table to pick up a bottle of water I had dropped there, letting my thought snake back to my dream. Why would I have such an insane dream? It’s so outrageous! Alfred in my bed? Ewww!
I checked the time and confirmed it was 4:30, meaning I don’t have to go back to bed. I then made my way to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth, my eyes docking to the mirror at my baldness, feeling sour at heart. I wonder what my friends would say when they see me. The others too, especially my colleagues at work! I didn’t think about that.
“I will cope,” I mumbled, “it’s all for the best.” I rinsed off my mouth and went in to wear my trainers and leave for my training.
Since I didn’t have to go with Alfred and it was too early to wake Luther to take me to the training ground, I had to use the house gym after I had jogged outside. I took advantage of the quietude to do my concentration exercise and in the next few minutes, I was of sound mind and ready to face my day.
“Oh, my! What did you do?!” Nadia coursed with her hand to her mouth when she came in later. I sat on the bed stretching myself with an askew smile on my face at her aghast outlook.
“What?” I feigned ignorance of her indictment.
“Your hair! Why did you cut it? You look so…” She rushed forward to me, stopping a few feet to assess me and decide what to say I looked like. Then she shook her head and flicked her fingers repetitively, “I have to call Mary. I can’t be the only one seeing this!” she reverberated and went into silence. I shook my head, stood, and went to drop the trainers I just removed, into the dirt basket.
I scoffed at her theatrics. “You are overreacting. I simply brought down the center of my affliction, what’s there? It would still grow back say in two weeks. It’s that fast,” I called back, eyeing her while she stood still appraising me in disapproval, her hands on her waist.
“Good!” she blurted and faced me. “She would be here soon. I can’t believe you! Why?”
“Because I’m tired of everyone cavorting on me. They all want me for this!” I pointed at my body, “Not because they want to be with me. So I’m starting to rid myself of everything that brings unwanted attention to me.”
“That’s ridiculous!” she cried out. “Do you think what you just did would stop them? Now, look at yourself in the mirror. Come, come look at yourself,” She beckoned and I adhered like a puppet, going to stand in front of the mirror to gawk at my reflection with questions swimming in my eyes. “Does it look like making yourself bald made you any less of a beauty?”
I hissed. “You are not serious, Nadia. I’m ugly now can’t you see that? I look sick, depressive, and abjectly ugly!” I deadpanned, and ambled away, blinking away my sadness.
The door blurted open and Mary dashed in. “Holy moly! Danika!” She hurried to me, grabbed me, and tilted left to right, her eyes scanning my head. “What did you do?”
“Is the question rehearsed? That’s the exact thing Nadia asked me.” I rolled my eyes and yanked away to go back to the closet and pick out my dress.
They stood watching me, none saying a word. But I knew there was a lot going on in their head. Finally, Mary puffed out cold air. “Danika love, this is not proper. You can’t stay unhappy or do shitty things to yourself because of… underserving people. I thought you accepted our help?”
“I have, but it gets cold in here when you ain’t around. All I think of is how to do so much harm to myself. I… I can’t help it,” My voice was getting broken and I didn’t want that. “Last night he came here. He came and-and I nearly hurt him.” I turned away with tears brimming in my eyes to face them.
“Hurt him?” Mary asked in confusion. “Hurt him how?”
“The demon surfaced again. I was so angry and bitter that I provoked it. I don’t know what I would have done if he had touched me afterward, if not that Alfred came in.”
“Alfred came?” That was Nadia.
I nodded and wiped tears from my eyes. I came back with a jean trouser and a simple flannel green top matching my eyes. “I think I have to leave…” I informed them as if the decision hasn’t been taken already.
“Leave? How? You have nowhere to go to.” Mary expressed with her hands spread to her side in slow gesture.
“I don’t care. I have been training fervently for this. That is why I have been going to the library because I need to know everything about myself, the powers in me, and how to control them. I am ready… Or will I say I’m almost ready?”
“You can’t go without any help, Danika. I understand you are going through pain. But if you think it’s for the best, then I will go with you wherever you go to! I can’t stay in peace knowing that you are out there suffering by yourself-”
“Me too!” Nadia said, interrupting Mary.
“No! I won’t bring anyone of you into my mess. This is my cross and I’m definitely bearing it alone. You don’t understand one thing about being rogues, do you? It’s not like being a pack Omega where you endure people talking trash at you or doing mean things to cause you pain. No! It’s entirely different! I can’t put you through that. I don’t have the heart to,” I declined instantly and meant it. If I’m going to do this, it’s going to be by myself. I can’t risk their lives by involving them. I only told them so they don’t feel bad when they wake up one day and find me missing.
Mary sighed. “I still thi-”
“No, Mary. You people are my only true friends. I want to carry that in my heart wherever I go, that I was once loved immeasurably for the first time in my life. That would mean a lot to me than having you dead out of selfishness. If I could, I would want you two with me everywhere I am. But…” I faltered, my eyes falling to my feet. They came close immediately and embraced me. My neck fell to their shoulders, a tear falling off.
“We will always be by your side come what may! You are the best Luna Queen this kingdom can have and I know someday the King would realize that,” Mary said in a fitful voice.
I tapped at their shoulders in reassurance.
They later dressed me up and at Mary’s word, found a matching shawl to tie on my hair after helping me trim it evenly. She insisted that we go strolling today to elevate my spirit as well as to tour the entire palace for discovery. I found it fun and so relented without much persuasion.
When I went down for breakfast, I avoided looking in Alonso’s direction and changed my position from sitting close to Alfred to sitting afar. If anyone noticed, they didn’t say anything.
Thanks to Mary, my bald hair was fully covered and therefore didn’t warrant any unwanted attention from the two female hornbills.
After breakfast, I was about to leave the table when Alonso cleared his throat which impulsively groped my attention to him. His face was masked in steel, his eyes cold and ferocious.
“I will be leaving the pack to the new pack that was established by Lancelot so I can go through their activities for approval. I might return with Lancelot.” That piqued my interest on top of the fact that I can’t believe my heart fell at the knowledge that he is going to be absent. I should be happy, but I’m not. Not that I care what the bond makes me feel, though.
“Why don’t you leave it till after the Luna ceremony? I mean the sooner the better…” Theresa surmised, flapping her cutlery that flashed under the bright sunlight streaking in through the vast palatial window.
“I told you, mother, and I mean it. For now, the ceremony would wait till I’m done fixing my Kingdom, our Kingdom! As you said, the Kingdom is relatively not safe to bring in any child. So, I will fix it,” he apprised her stiffly, his deadly eyes not relenting from her.
I averted my gaze to Theresa and she looked like death was beckoning on her. Like mother like son. They all seem to have the flair to want to explode when things don’t go their way.
Cocky lots!
I stood abruptly, in a haste to escape whatever war was brewing. I wouldn’t want to witness it. “I will leave now. Thanks for the food,” I said to no one in particular and scurried out.
I didn’t stop until I was in the confines of my room, before slamming the door behind me and letting out a stifled cold breath. “That was close.”
“What was close?” I jolted off the door, startled out of my daze. I had forgotten I left my friends here to go down.
“The King is leaving the palace… now is a good time.”
…