*Danika*
Driving home from the library one hour later, my body was in the car, but my mind was far away. Roland had taken me to the part of the library that housed the history books and we had gone through them in search of the whispering abilities.
They were scary; extremely horrible! It said it needs souls every red moon! Every fucken red moon. That means I would need to kill every fucken time to satiate this demon in me.
How can I kill people? I can’t see myself killing anyone. My body squivering in fear. The red moon is just a month away and I’m just discovering this now? What am I going to do? Why are so many things happening to me at once? Things of hefty consequences.
“Are you sure you are okay, Danika? You haven’t said anything since you read that parchment and you have been withdrawn,” Roland asked me for the umpteenth time.
“I’m fine, Roland. It’s just, the gory and horrible things I read. I feel awful thinking about it. Of all the things why must it be souls it had to feast on?”
“I don’t know… We should be grateful no one of us has such a demon lurking in them.” My heart lurched with that utterance. If only he knows. He seem to have a reflection, then he said, “Though I know someone that is a shape shifter and she’s doing well controlling herself.”
“How?” I faced him, taking an interest. Perhaps I can also control it. I have to be able to control it!
His lips lifted to a side in an unknown gesture. “She learned it over time. It is all about the inside and what the person wants. Most of these abilities are capable of being tamed if only the carrier means to. They only go rogue if put into ill use.”
“That means I can-I mean someone can control the power if they have it?” I internally slapped myself for almost making that blunder and giving myself away.
“Yea, they can.”
The remainder of the ride was spent in silence. He dropped me off at home and left afterward, only after I had drowned him in gratitude. I wanted to suggest he go to see Mary but he had already done so much for me today, and I don’t want him to think I was taking advantage of his kindness.
“Danika!” Mary squealed as the front door slid open. She came out, her face spreading in warmth.
“What are you doing here?” I accepted her side hug as we made our way in.
“I came looking for you and when I didn’t see you, I decided to leave and come back later,” she said as we climbed the stairs to my room.
“I’m sorry, I had detoured from work to the library.”
“Library. The town’s ogre library. The one that looks haunted?”
“Mary! It’s not haunted.” I rolled my eyes when we got inside, flinging off my shoes to walk to the bathroom.
“Well, that place looks desolate. What did you go there to do?”
“What do they do in the library?” I asked.
“To read…”
“Exactly. To read.”
“Oh, I thought like me you don’t like reading.”
“Now you know better.” I flushed and came out, rubbing my hand on my forehead as a mild headache seemed to be approaching. “I’m so tired and whipped,” I said as I dumped my body on the bed and spread my hands out. “Are you okay?” I asked Mary, noticing her face was no longer gleaming.
“I’m fine, Danika. I should be the one asking you if you are okay. Nadia told me she thinks something is wrong with you.” I shot up from the bed hysterically.
“Nadia? Why? I’m fine.” I pinned my eyes to her.
She puffed out and took my hands. “We are your friends, Danika. You have been good to us more than anyone in this pack. We want to help you if anything is bothering you. We can’t be smiling when there is something obviously bothering you,” she said, smiling sadly.
I pinched my eyes closed as tears stung and threatened to fall out. I have such good friends but I keep holding back. Holding back from what? From someone who doesn’t give a fig fuck about me?
“It’s okay if you don’t want to share… but Nadia also told me that when you left, the King was very mad. He came to your room and thinking she was the one in the bathroom, had said something like ‘you can talk about it’ what are you two talking about that would have him so ruffled?”
I broke down, all my walls crumbling around me and showing forth what was concealed inside. I’m suffering carrying this alone, and no matter how much I want to, I can’t anymore. I have to talk to someone and despite Nadia not doing well by going to tell Mary before asking me, I couldn’t blame her. She might have been looking out for me.
“I can’t anymore, Mary. I can’t do this. It’s killing me!” I held her hands, looking up to meet her watery eyes. She pulled me close into a tight embrace, and I responded with no reservations. This is all messed up and the more I keep hiding, the more I’m torn apart; used without a thought to my sanity and who knows, one day I might wake up in a dump before my plans are hatched.
“It’s okay, love. Whatever it is, it’s going to be alright,” Mary purred, tapping my back gently.
Minutes later, I sniffed, lifted myself off her, and reached for my bag to retrieve a napkin, which I used to wipe my eyes. I might as well tell her, what do I stand to lose? I’ve lost everything. If they hate me, I-I don’t know. Maybe I will endure the following days knowing that at least I told them.
“I’m not Lance’s mate.”
“What!”
“Yeah. I know you are going to hate me after this but-but I need you to know none of this was my fault. He made me do it.
He wanted me to pretend to be Lance’s mate because-because the King was ashamed of me. He didn’t see me fit to become his Luna Queen,” I rattled on the second the first word was out, without pausing.
She didn’t say anything immediately, and I feared perhaps, the hatred has set in.
I relapsed into another bout of wail. “I’m sorry, Mary. I don’t want you to hate me for this. I swear I didn’t mean to hide it from you guys. I’ve been feeling guilty every time I have to hide it from you.”
She grabbed my shoulder and shook me until I halted, and slowly peered at her. Tears were cascading down her face as she appraised me. “I can never hate you, Danika! You are like a best friend to me and I know whatever would have made you hide it from me, was genuine. I can’t believe I have been friends with the future Luna Queen of the Pacific Kingdom. What have I done to deserve this favor from the goddess-”
“I’m not going to be Luna Queen, Mary,” I mumbled, sniffing.
“Why?” Her eyes danced in the evening light, looking up to me for answers.
“Because he doesn’t want me. He only brought me here to use me. Paisley is pregnant!”
“What?!” she shouted, then covered her mouth with her hands, her eyes widened. “Oh, Danika. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’m trying to regain myself. I’ve accepted my fate that there is nothing I can do about it.”
“Look here, Danika.” She grabbed my shoulder and roughly made me face her. “You can do many things about it. Firstly you have to prove to him that you are not a weakling. You have to make him regret what he did to you. You have to be strong because that is what every Luna is; they are strong! Can’t you see Mama Theresa? She is powerful and stood beside the late King in the toughest moments. No one could get to him without going through her. You have to become that, and trust me, he would come crawling back to you in regret. There is no need to cry your eyes out or grow lean… I am your friend and I will stand by you through this, I promise.”
I was nodding, my red-rimmed eyes taking in her resolute facade. Is this what it means to have friends who are closer than sisters? I thought she was going to hate me, but here she was, giving me the strength to fight for myself.
“Thanks so much, Mary. You have no idea what this means to me.” I shook her hand in mine, muffling retorting tears. “I thought y’all were going to look at me with contempt when you find out about my secret.”
“Well, now you know your thoughts were wrong,” she uttered, tickling me as we laughed it off.
She stayed with me until Nadia came in and saw us, and we had to tell her everything as well as about my powers. I didn’t want to hide anything from them henceforth. By the time Mary left, I was stronger emotionally than when I came back. Nadia willingly told me she was going to make an excuse for me not to be at dinner, to avoid seeing the King or anything that would make me unhappy again.
Going to bed, I slept peacefully with my door locked from both ends, knowing that come tomorrow, things were going to turn around here for me. I will be making my own decisions on how I want my life to be moving forward. No more squirming and falling for void promises with wells that hold no water.
It’s going to be either for me or against me. I am no longer willing to compromise. If the King comes to me, I will give him an ultimatum of what I desired. If he’s not willing to give in, that means he isn’t willing to accept me and would have to pay direly for it!
…