*Danika*
There was dead silence all through the drive home. A kind of silence that even the sound of a fallen pin could be picked out-since I told him it was Alfred. I couldn’t lie. I knew he was going to find out eventually.
He didn’t do anything, the reflexive clenching of his jaw was the only indication of the rage seething through him. I briefly glanced at him from looking outside the window in suspense, daring him to say something. Just anything. I hated the silence because then I wouldn’t know what was going on in his head.
What was I thinking?! I blamed myself because maybe I would have avoided this charade if I hadn’t gone to the training site today. I should have used the gym or even rested for the entire day as suggested by Mary!
However, how was I supposed to know Alfred was going to be a prickhead? I trusted him. I wasn’t looking for another Lance in my life. It was bad enough I couldn’t reciprocate his love before he left, and now Alfred who I was looking up to as a friend now comes to ruin it!
“Get out of my car!” That was the first statement he made throughout the drive, dragging me back from my drift to realize he had pulled in front of the house. I frantically looked at him, seeing the murderous glow in his face, and scampered out of the car, standing by the side to watch him do a mad reverse and drove out.
Where is he going?
I was still deliberating on it when the front door slid open and my senses caught a whiff of someone behind me, causing me to turn abruptly. It was Paisley in her usual elegant reddishness.
She wasn’t spotting her traditional cheery look, instead, her eyes darted searchingly from me to the retreating car in askance, for a split second I feared she might be suspecting something between Alonso and me.
“Danika wasn’t that the King? Where is he going to?” My eyes followed her movement, still drenched in self-conflict over what occurred, wondering what I’m supposed to tell her.
I rounded on her, shaking my head, “I don’t know.”
“But you were with him. Did you train with him?” Her tone sounded skeptical.
I rapidly shook my head. “No, he met me along the way when I was returning from my training and offered to bring me home,” I dubbed, feeling pissed explaining myself to her. And more so the fact that she still had a look of disbelief plastered on her face. Why should I be feeling terrified of her finding out something that wasn’t supposed to make me feel guilty in the first place?
“Oh, okay…” she went on, peering in the direction he drove to. I wasn’t going to stand there and watch her go through whatever was going on through her small head so I started walking to the front door, desiring nothing short of going to bed to sleep away the thought of everything that transpired today between Alfred and me. He was just a prickhead and this is going to cost us our relationship.
“Danika?”
“Mmm?” I paused in front of the opened front door to face Paisley.
“I will like to have a little discussion with you if you don’t mind…” My heart skipped at her request, but my face was still brave. What would she possibly want to discuss with me? Does she suspect something out of place?
Internally shaking off the thought, I sucked in my lower lip to steady my breath, before telling her matter-of-factly, “I don’t think I can right now, Paisley. I am really tired from the training and have a migraine. Can we do it tomorrow after work?”
Her eyes searched mine, her head nodding while in thought, before deciding with a small smile. “Okay… Maybe tomorrow as you said after work.”
“Thanks.” I strode into the mansion, not sparing her any glance as I walked straight to my room, every part of my body tensed with mixed emotions. Why does my life have to suck this way? Everything I put my mind into comes crashing before me.
When I was in my former pack, I worked so hard to be on my father’s good side by doing everything that I thought would please him, yet, when I thought everything was going smoothly, my sister would pull a stunt that would send to Hades all I have worked to attain.
That was part of the reasons I couldn’t indulge in proper training growing up. Bianca would often make it about her, making me the punching bag, to get my father’s approval. At the end of the day, I didn’t learn anything new but gave up and accepted my fate as a domestic maid and everybody’s spot of ridicule.
ALWAYS FAILING!
Now, just when I thought I have found what I wanted; I can finally learn to fight for myself, control my senses and become a better person for me, for those around me, men’s insatiable Eros had risen to become my latest nightmare. It started with Lance. Is this how my life is meant to be? Nobody can like me freely without wanting anything in return from me?
Even my mate uses me as a strengthener and doesn’t see me worthy of standing by him.
It was with this thought clouding my mind, and tears falling down my face, that I drifted into sleep.
When I woke up sometime later, it was plain dark. I patted my bedside sleepily but didn’t find what I was looking for so I inched closer to the bed stand and searched there until I found my phone. I clicked on it to come on and checked the time.
12:00am.
I huffed, followed by the rumbling of my stomach. I tossed to my back to look up at the ceiling encumbered in darkness, my mind still foggy.
My entire body itched from the tight trainers I was still wearing, and my eyes felt puffy from crying myself to sleep. The grunting sound of my stomach once more made me sit up on the bed, reaching out to turn on the bed stand lamp.
I stood and disrobed from the trainers which I flung across the room and unpinned my hair letting it cascade over my body in its glorious thickness. I ran my fingers through the thick russets walking down to the bathroom in my panties, my eyes still clouded with sleep.
Turning on the water faucet I let the water gush down my entire length, savoring the cold liquid. It helped to soothe my soul, calming the fever I still felt from what I remember happened earlier.
After scrubbing away every grime, and brushing my teeth, I wrapped the towel around me and went to the mirror by the wall to look at myself with my hair still matted to my skin. I looked plumper but the sadness coating my eyes couldn’t be concealed. I might be feeding well, but happiness lacked in my soul. Something I haven’t still figured out how to give myself.
Unable to bear the look-like I have always been terrified of, I picked another towel and started rubbing through my wet hair, ambling out of the bathroom to the room.
I quickly dressed in a cozy nightwear and allowed my hair free so it can air dry. One of these days I will have to go against my love for it and cut everything out. Maybe if I looked uglier nobody would want me and maybe by then, I might be able to focus, instead of trusting or hoping that someday someone would truly love me for me without what I had to give.
Another thunderous rumble of my stomach reminded me I needed to get something to eat. Surely, I could find leftovers in the kitchen. Consequences of skipping dinner.
Not bothering to put on my white robe since it was already midnight and everyone should be in bed by now, including the Alpha King who even if he was awake, would be in his study-a place I would do well to avoid, I left to the kitchen in nothing but my short red lingerie. I planned to pick up anything I laid my hungry eyes on and rush back to the room to eat it. I wouldn’t want anyone meeting me in the kitchen. It would be awkward explaining myself.
Making sure my steps were masked, I rushed down the hall to the stairs and went to the kitchen which I discovered was plunged into total darkness. I cringed, feeling a bit overwhelmed.
I switched on the light and flicked my eyes around searching for anything that could sate my hunger for tonight till breakfast.
I went to the fridge and opened it, my eyes landing on a savory packed away meal. I inhaled deeply, my stomach responding with a welcoming bellow. I picked it up together with a bottle of cold orange juice and closed the fridge with a full smile. Mission accomplished!
I left the kitchen and continued going back to my room, passing the hall of the room of the Alpha King- my thought being that he would definitely not be there mainly after what happened yesterday. Probably drinking away in his study in outrage.
I was absent-mindedly striding down the hall in my best quiet mode, and just when I was about to cross his room, the door opened, and like magic, a hand shut out and ripped me in.
…