*Danika*
Muse was dashing through the forest that she had run into in my anger. I allowed her the freedom because in my present state I couldn’t do much. I lost it. Every bit of it. What was all this for? Just for acceptance. Acceptance from people who don’t care.
I am just a girl who doesn’t want to hurt people and so keep away from everything that would give rise to it. I just want to be happy. I just want my mate to look at me with love and care in his eyes. I don’t want to pretend to be someone else’s mate, that wasn’t a life for me. Now as much as I want to resurrect into accepting who I was. I can’t shake off the feeling that I was only doing it for me.
Yeah, I need to own up to a power I don’t know how I got it in the first place, and had to live up to it, still, I feel that this great need sprung from the need to have Alonso look at me with pride. To become the Luna Queen that he wants me to be for him. To be the perfect Luna Queen. Not for me. For him. What happened to me? What happened to what I want? I am kind, I live with people even though they detest my existence. I am compassionate. And all my life in my former pack with all the sufferings I had to go through, I never bent to anyone’s will.
I was so confused. I am so tired. I am so whipped out. I don’t know what I am going to do.
Her paws are beginning to hurt from the mad dash through the forest but I still needed to put out some of this energy. Then I perceived a stream somewhere close and slowed down to make sure I didn’t miss the scent and it appeared so.
I changed my course and strutted down to the direction I perceived the stream until the red-rimmed eyes of Muse took in the stream that was stretched in its beauty across the terrain. I stopped and observed it for a while, the clandestine outlook somehow taming my inside.
I covered the remaining distance until I was standing by the stream and bent to take a sharp drink. Morning light was beginning to cover by now so I could see everything. After drinking I bent on my hinge still enjoying being in my wolf form. I haven’t spoken to Muse of late and right now I wasn’t in the mood to speak to anyone so I stared out into the open waters, numbing my mind from having any stray thoughts.
“Your wolf is beautiful,” a voice came behind me solemnly offsetting my balance. I jolted back baring my fangs in a low growl but tamed when I saw Alfred.
I pinched my eyes half-closed and appraised him, wondering how he had managed to meet up to my pace this fast.
He was still standing there peering at me in his human form when I turned back to my former position.
“Maybe you would need this?” I looked to my side and I see him handing me my former clothes. I took them with my mouth and went to the nearest bush to change to. When I came back he was still in the position I left him by the stream looking out. We sat side by side, not speaking to each other for a while. With me not knowing what to say after what I did, and him probably letting me cool off.
I was the first to break the silence, “I am sorry for my behavior. I don’t know what to-”
“It’s okay, Danika. There must be a reason for it. I believe so. So if you are not willing to share, then I am happy to sit down here with you till you are ready to leave.”
I smiled, something in me believing Alfred was truly trying to be a better friend and one I might be able to share my darkest secret with. Secret that might end up getting his loathing or make him understand me better. All the same, I just don’t want him to think me weak and a failure without knowing my true fears.
I cleared my throat and he looked at me, “I have never been trained before. Like, I don’t know the first thing when it comes to training.”
I wasn’t looking at him, in fear that I wouldn’t like what I would find. But what I heard next had my head rising to him rapidly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Are you serious?” he asked me, no judgmental look on his face. Which planet is he from?
“I’m serious. I found my wolf here. Not long ago.”
“Whoa! That’s beautiful. It’s imposing and awesome.”
“My wolf?” I asked with a slight smile relaxing into the conversation.
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“How did you find me? I know I ran very fast which was one for the reasons I had shifted, to get away. So how did you find me?”
“Your scent. Hard to miss.”
My thought went back to what my mate said the other night about me hiding my scent. “Is my scent that evident?” I just had to ask.
“Only if someone pays close attention,” he said. My heart lurched inside. So he paid me this attention in just these few times we have spent together? I nodded, having nothing else to say.
“You should have told me. It’s not a big deal. I told you the other day that it’s not a bad thing to meet your wolf at a later stage. I found mine late, though I always practiced. You are not the first.”
“I tried to tell you,” I reminded him.
“My bad. I didn’t know. I’m usually very critical when I’m on duty,” he said. I looked at him, admiring the drinking of his eyes from the full morning light that has come on. Very soon we will need to leave.
“I noticed. It’s kind of cute,” he said as his face found mine, his smirk coming on.
“You are the first to say that. The others think I’m too strict. Even Reginald,” he commented, looking out to the blue depth. He had this distant look I couldn’t place.
“It kind of shows seriousness,” I told him, meaning it. Maybe it was because I’m just getting to know him, but I liked that apart from the fact that he was this playboy kind of man, he was taking his role very seriously. This makes me wonder why Alonso doesn’t like him. Well, he doesn’t see you like anyone. Or, maybe I shouldn’t judge him. Everyone has their reasons for everything. They are family and Alonso knew him better than I did.
“Well, Danika. We are going to find our way around it. I know you might be feeling out of place that you are the oldest person learning the rudimentary, but I assure you, it’s nothing much, all you need is to focus,” he assured me, giving me slight courage.
I smiled, feeling relieved. “Thanks, Alfred.” I looked about. “We have to leave now, it’s almost late.”
He nodded in agreement and we started making our way out.
When we reached the mansion it was already fully dawn. I ran upstairs and got ready before running to the infirmary to start my day’s work. Maybe I might not be completely hopeless. Alfred just gave new hope.
The day at the infirmary ran through quickly with me having to take care of some pups that were going out of control as a result of the Omega’s having their hands full. It was very hectic that I missed lunch-which was free at the infirmary- then at the close of the day when I was set to leave, I was walking with my head on my hands, all my body strained to the least. There was this mild headache creeping up on me that all I needed was to head home and go to sleep. It was that bad.
When I reached the outside and sat down to call Alfred, my eyes caught a sleek black G-98 wagon parked out, the driver looking familiar. It’s not possible.
I dropped the phone back into the bag I brought today, hitching it further down my shoulders to go closer. It was real. I wasn’t hallucinating or imagining things. It was him, in blood and flesh. My mate. Here to pick me, or for something else?
I didn’t want embarrass myself by thinking he came to pick me, so I went towards the car door to greet him first. “Hey,” I said.
“Get in,” he instructed, the car door opening from the other side. I smiled going to enter while looking around, thankful that no one was around to notice. The car zoomed out, and the silence in the car was very deafening. I looked outside the car wishing it was Alfred that came, that way we chat about stuff and I would be more relaxed.
“Why did you come?” I had to ask, curiosity killing me.
“How was your day at work? You look whipped, “he ignored my question to ask instead.
“Why did you come?” I persisted, my blood boiling. Why is he always treating me like that? This minute he is very cold to me and the next he is being kind. I needed answers. Oh, now because he has noticed his brother trying to help me he wants to nose around.
“You won’t raise your voice at me,” he uttered in a brisk voice, only the steel behind his voice portrayed his dominance.
“I need to know, and where the fuck are you going?” I yelled, noticing he was going to another direction from the house.
“You won’t speak to me in that manner, Danika. Don’t test me,” he warned.
“I will talk to you how I want, Alpha King because you are-”
“Don’t say! Damn it!” The car came to a screeching stop that I almost hit my head on the headboard from the force. My hand’s suspended on air, slowly turning to meet his hard steady glare.
“What is wrong with you! Is it not enough that you are hurting me, now you want to kill me? You think you can hurt me and then the next minute you are acting all kind and sweet, driving me crazy. What have I done to you?” I broke down, letting out all my frustrations on him. Why does he do that?
He didn’t say anything, just silence. Not even trying to comfort me.