Ethan
I woke up again to memories that wasn’t mine. It felt like a dream but I knew better. It wasn’t. I had had more of that deja Vu experience to know that it wasn’t a dream. I was slowly losing myself and I was sad at what was happening. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This wasn’t meant to happen to me. I couldn’t stop wondering why I was the one that this was happening to.
I was the king and had the lives of my people in my hands. It was hard to believe that I was the one who couldn’t get a grasp on his life.
I sighed. I couldn’t do this anymore. This didn’t feel right. I couldn’t sit still and pretend that nothing was wrong with me. I had to find out what was wrong with me. The doctor kept saying that I was fine but I would be stupid to keep on believing him.
The memory of my ruined wedding day kept on tormenting me. I couldn’t believe that I had slapped Ava. I never would have thought of doing that in a million years. I loved Ava and couldn’t believe that I had hurt her. I couldn’t even remember what she had done that had made me slap her but I had felt suddenly annoyed at her presence and the next thing I knew, my hands were flying at her face.
I still remembered the shock on her face and the tears in her eyes as she had looked at me that day, holding her face with her hands.
I had nightmares of her face since that day, waking me up in the middle of the night, leaving me drenched in cold sweats and gasping for breath.
I looked up as I got a knock on my bedroom door.
“Your highness, your mate would like to see you.”
I gasped as I heard the announcement from the maid stationed at my door. I didn’t think that I wanted to face Ava. I didn’t think I was ready to see her yet. I wasn’t bold enough to look at her and pretend like nothing happened. I wasn’t bold enough to admit what I had done and apologize.
What was I even going to say? Would I admit to slapping her and beg for her forgiveness? That felt odd because it was never my choice to slap her. Would I tell her that I didn’t know what came over me? I sighed and shook my head. That sounded cowardly.
I decided to tell the maid to turn her away. Ava made the choice for me before I could talk. She pushed the door knob and walked in before I could say anything.
“Ava!” I jumped to my get as I saw her walk in.
My feet got entangled in my bedspread and I almost fell down but I didn’t mind. Even if I had fallen down flat on my face, that was nothing compared to the embarrassment that I had caused her. We hadn’t seen each other since after I had slapped her and she had walked out on me after getting over the shock she felt.
I felt awkward being here with her. This wasn’t how it was meant to be. We were supposed to be married by now and enjoying our blissful marriage and not looking at each other with stiff expressions and waiting for an apology.
“I’m sorry.” I said, feeling ashamed of myself.
“I forgive you.” She said.
I looked at her in surprise. “You do?”
She nodded. She moved closer to me and my heart pumped with excitement. I couldn’t believe that she had forgiven me just like that. Suddenly, I growled at her, filled with disgust. I didn’t want her near me.
“Get out.” I barked at her, unable to control myself. I wanted to jump at her and push her out of the room.
She seemed to realize what I wanted to do and kept on moving backwards, away from my reach.
“Ethan, snap out of it. You can.” I heard her voice shouting at me. She was near me but it felt like she was far away and she was shouting from a distance.
I heard her voice break and knew that she was crying. I didn’t want that. Not again. I was done breaking her heart. It hurt me that she was in pain. I fought the fog covering my senses and I struggled to regain control of myself.
“Ava!” I screamed and cried as I finally got the lunacy trying to take over me.
She ran to my side. “Here I am, my love.” She said, pulling me into her embrace.
I cried as I placed my head on her shoulders and held on to her, pulling her closer to me. I was worried that I was holding on to her too tight but she didn’t seem to mind. She held me close as well and rubbed her hands all over my body as she comforted me, patting my back and running her hands through my hair.
“Don’t worry. You will be fine soon. I believe that.” She said as she ran her hands through my hair.
I didn’t understand what she was saying but it felt good to my ears. I loved hearing her voice and didn’t want her to stop. It was bad that I was about to lose this wonderful woman because of what I couldn’t explain nor control. I felt ashamed of what I had done to her and cried harder as I held on to her.
“I’m sorry, Ava.” I kept on saying to her.
“Don’t worry about that. I know this isn’t you.”
“Thanks.”
“I thought you would never want to speak to me again.”
She snorted. “We are mates. Moreover, Rudolph told me everything. I know you will get over it.”
I didn’t know what Rudolph had told her but I was glad that it had made her stop being angry at me. She eventually left and I felt relieved that I was still on good terms with my mate.
I just needed to find a solution to what was wrong with me, pick a new wedding date and we would be happily married.
I really hoped that I was able to fix myself because I was already fed up with my life.