Like a silent observer, the silver face of the moon shone down on me as I made my way around the car to the passenger side and tugged the handle. Tanya smiled at me as she stepped out, making sure to grab her purse before I tossed the door shut and turned to walk with her down that long stretch of sidewalk toward her apartment building. My stomach churned with nervousness as we stepped up to the large oak door, poorly lit by a mercury lamp overhead.
“That was a fun evening.” I said, sounding more confident than I felt.
She gave me a huge grin and pulled a lock of her dark hair from her face. “Yeah it was really fun. I haven’t been bowling since I was a little girl.”
The “awkward moment”, that spot of silence just before a goodnight had nearly arrived when I headed it off with a chuckle and said, “Next time maybe you should use a real ball instead of that little pink one.”
She pretended to be insulted and retorted, “Well maybe if there had been any real balls there tonight I would have used them!” She laughed as I cringed at her well-played jab.
“Well I have to get in so I can read up for class.” she said. “You’ll call me, right?” she asked as she pulled the door handle forward.
“Um, yeah. Of course.” I said, stammering and then stepping back as another tenant of the apartments made their way out of the building past Tanya and me.
“Okay. Have a good night! I really enjoyed our date.” Tanya said with a sweet smile as she slipped inside.
The door closed behind her and I stood there for just a minute, absently fumbling with my keys. I turned around and started back towards my car, casting a glance at the bright moon that had witnessed Tanya turning me away at her door for the third time in so many dates.
I reflected on the past week. Tanya had called about two weeks ago with some questions about a project. When I called back we talked about our class assignments at first but then started to talk about ourselves until we were just chatting and having fun. My sister, Sara, knew I was on the phone with her and stopped by my room to tease me about it. She stopped back a little while later and had written, “Have you asked her out yet?” on a paper. When I nodded no she made a frowning face and shook her head in mock disappointment. It was clear she was going to keep pushing at me to ask Tanya out, and I really did want to, so I surprised myself by asking her to dinner that next Tuesday after classes. She was a little surprised but easily agreed. Sara gave me a big smile and later told me she was glad I finally did it since she knew I liked her. I kind of liked how Sara was encouraging me to go out with Tanya.
We did go out that Tuesday and again that Friday, and for the heck of it we went out bowling tonight, Sunday, and it had gone really well. I knew we were still getting to know each other beyond just being classmates. It’s not like I was expecting to be invited upstairs tonight for a night of passion, I just wanted a kiss or a hug or anything more than just a smile to say goodnight. Maybe I was just in too much of a hurry. Stupid hormones.
Frustrated, I got back in my car and drove off. It was a half hour drive back home and by the time I reached my family’s house I had calmed down considerably. I knew that part of my frustration was that Tanya was probably the first girl I’d ever had the gumption to ask out on a normal date and I was putting a lot of hope into our relationship. I really did like her and found her so attractive. I just couldn’t understand how she could be such a tease and make all the dirty jokes she did in our classes and yet not even give me a hint that any of her playfulness was geared toward anything more.
As I reached the front door of my house I realized that although I had calmed down I still didn’t understand so I just shook my head and mentally put the whole thing aside for now.
It was after midnight and I was careful not to make a lot of noise lest I wake my parents and my sister, Sara, up. However as I made my way into the house I could hear the TV on in the den and peaked in to see an empty room but a telltale bowl with a few popcorn kernels and a mostly empty cup of water. I walked back towards my room and saw that the light was on in the bathroom, telling me that Sara was still up. I could hear the shower running.
I knocked quietly on the door and heard her muffled reply. I turned the knob and peaked my head in, finding myself suddenly in a world of warm mist and the scent of strawberries and thirty or more exotic herbs as the soap bottle no doubt promised. Sara poked her head out from around the shower curtain, water dripping from her cheerful face.
“Hey, just wanted to let you know I was home.” I said, smiling.
“Okay. Thanks.” She said and smiled back.
I stepped back out of the bathroom and shut the door behind me, then went to my room and changed into my pajamas before heading back to the den.
Just as I was almost invested in whether the leaf-cutting ant would make it through the rainstorm (thank goodness for nature shows), Sara came in and smiled when she saw what I was watching.
“It was either this or a commercial about an exercise machine that looks like it should be illegal.” I quipped.
She rolled her eyes playfully at me and sat on the floor against the couch where I was laying. Sara was wearing her nightgown and her blonde hair hung in damp strands – mostly dry, but not quite.
“That’s why I was watching a movie you goof.” she said, taking the remote from me and pointing it at the DVD player to resume what she had been watching. Fortunately it was a movie I liked, although I would have been grateful for anything I could shut my mind down to watch.
A few minutes in, I noticed her rolling her head around, stretching her neck. She reached up and started to massage one of the muscles in her shoulder.
“Does your neck hurt again?” I asked, over the movie.
It took a second for her to register that I had said something and she looked back so I repeated myself. She nodded. “Yeah, it’s been giving me a headache.”
“Well here, let me.” I said and sat up behind her. I reached down and started to massage her shoulders. Sara had been getting tension headaches for years ever since she had gone into high school. She had found that keeping her neck and shoulders loose really helped prevent the headaches from growing too strong and she’d trained both our parents and myself to give a good neck massage pretty much whenever she asked.
“Oh, thank you.” She said, dropping her hand. She sighed.