Jenny was good for me. We were good together. Not crazy, mad, head-over-heels in love. I guess that only happens once, and I had my chance. But good enough to make things permanent within the year. She was very attractive, with a wonderful body, and looked great on my arm whenever I had a function to attend. She was generous in bed, and extremely affectionate. I enjoyed the attention. She vowed her faithfulness, and shut down anyone who came on to her. She danced with nobody but me, and made it clear to the world who she was with.
I grew to love her. More so when she bore my child. I know she loved me more than I did her. But that was Ok. I was happy. I was. The sex wasn’t as incredible as it had been with Gail, but it was very good. Sometimes great. I didn’t think of her every moment of the day, always planning new ways to please her, as I had with Brenda, but I thought of her often. I loved her response when I’d give her a little gift, or surprise her with a night out. She was loving, beautiful, loyal, and a great mother. All a man could ask for.
The strangest part was she became friends with Gail. My ex-lover, and the woman who had participated in ruining her marriage. I still don’t know how they met. I think Gail might have been checking up on me. I didn’t think they had much in common, but they became close. Gail was over often. I thought it would be much more awkward than it was.
Jenny was 8 months pregnant with our second child, on bed-rest. Gail was visiting, helping around the house. We’d come to depend on her. She still cleaned like a maniac. Didn’t wear the special outfits anymore, which I have to confess I missed. We were relaxing in the living room, late, my daughter Rebecca long put to bed.
“It is enough?” Gail asked.
“What?”
“What you have with her. With Jenny. You seem happy. Is it enough?”
“I am happy. She’s a good woman. I have a wonderful daughter and a son on the way.”
“Can you forgive her now?” she asked.
“Why? She’s out of my life. I hardly ever think of her anymore.”
“I know you, Dave. I’ve loved you for years. You settled.”
I felt angry at her words. “A loving, faithful wife. That’s what I have.”
She nodded sadly. “You do. She loves you to death. She’d die before she’d cheat on you.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“I need to know. I’m sorry. I wanted more for you. Not just contentment. You deserve more.”
“I’m happy, Gail. Happier than I’ve been in a long time.”
“I know. I’m glad for you. It’s been a long seven years.” She held my hand. “I’ll never be able to thank you enough, for what you did for me. You didn’t have to. You should have dumped me. Burned me. Punished me like you did them.”
“She left me,” I reminded her.
“It’s Ok, Dave. I understand. We deserved it. All of us. That and more. Don’t ever think twice about it. It was harsh, but we had it coming.”
I finally realized what she was saying. She knew. Knew it was me.
“She humiliated me, Gail. I loved her so damn much, and to see her like that. Calling me by his name. She fucking came from an ass-fucking when she had never allowed me to touch her there.” I could barely keep the hurt in, my eyes filling to point of overflowing.
“I know. She knows. She’ll never contact you. But she’d kill to hear your voice again. If you could forgive her, maybe she could move on. Start living.”
“How long?”
“Four years now. I had to know. Know why she ran. That was cruel.”
“Cruel? Like what she did wasn’t?”
“Hers was unintentional. She’d never hurt you on purpose. You know that.”
“She knew exactly what she was doing. Screwing other men, giving them what she never gave me, laughing at me behind my back. How is that unintentional?”
“The act was bad. What she did was horrible. We all realized that. But she would never have willingly hurt you. She forgave you long ago. Can’t you do the same for her?”
“I… I don’t think so. Every time I think about her, I see her that final time. I hear those vicious words. I can’t get it out of my head. Even now. I don’t think I ever will.”
She sighed. “I understand. I’m sorry. I think it would be good for you. I know it would help her a lot, even though she probably doesn’t deserve it. I can’t help thinking about how wonderful you were to me, still are. Even now sharing your life with me, this little bit. I feel guilty. Could you do it for me? Forgive her? Please?”
“I can’t. Not yet.”
She leaned her head against my shoulder. “Alright. I’ll leave it alone. I’m sorry to dredge up the pain again.” She was quiet for a bit. “I’m seeing someone.”
That surprised me. I don’t think she’d dated once since it all came crumbing down. “You like him?”
“I do. He’s not you, but he’s good, and kind, and he seems to really like me.”
“I’m not all that, Gail.”
She looked up at me, and I saw the tears in her eyes. “You are. Still. The best in so many ways.”
“After what I did to your business? To you? You can still say that?”
“Absolutely. We deserved that and more. You know I’ll always love you, but it’s time for me now. Time to move on. I know that you love her. Your new wife. And that’s good. I hope you stay happy. You have a beautiful family.”
“I hope things work out for you and…”
“Jeff. Jeffrey E. Davidson the third. He’s so very proud of that ‘third’. I hope it works out too. Can we still be friends?”
“I hope so.”
She stood, and gave me a kiss. Not the kind of kiss a woman should give a married man. I understood it was goodbye. We had both moved on.
I climbed into bed with my loving, faithful wife. I held her belly, feeling the occasional movement. She didn’t ask why I was crying. She was content to rollover and hold me. I don’t know how I felt, but I was glad to have her by my side, her big belly pressed between us.
* * *
I don’t know how she got my number at work. The call came out of the blue and hit me like a thunderbolt.
“Hello, Dave,” she said.
I’d know that voice anywhere. It would never fade from my memory. Five years of marriage to another woman, almost ten years without hearing it did nothing to alter that.