I had to do something about it. I knew that he was dead and the person staring at me wasn’t real. So I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths.
When I opened my eyes again, Anthony was gone. I looked around and found myself alone in the room. I sighed in relief but then stilled. Why did I see Anthony? Was Simmy right about me going insane?
The thought made my forehead crease. No, I wasn’t insane, and I had no intention of becoming so. But unbeknownst to me, Simmy was actually waiting for it to happen.
The next morning, the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was Simmy’s face. I gasped and immediately sat up in bed.
She quickly pulled back. She had been leaning over me. She cleared her throat. “I’ve informed your father about your condition, Azora. I brought you breakfast. He said he’ll visit you later.”
I ran a hand through my hair and looked at Simmy in frustration. “Leave.”
Her eyebrows shot up at my command. “Are you kicking me out?”
“I don’t repeat myself,” I said. I got up and walked towards the bathroom.
I heard Simmy’s loud cry. “Don’t turn your back on me!”
I smirked before opening the bathroom door and slamming it shut. I took a deep breath. I didn’t know what Simmy was up to, but I was tired of arguing with her. If I let her get to me, I wouldn’t be able to eat because of the stress.
I hurried through my shower and went straight to the walk-in closet. As usual, I chose a white dress. Everything in the wardrobe was white. I just liked dressing in white. Then I walked out of the closet.
Simmy’s face was the first thing I saw when I came out. She was sitting in a chair behind a small tea table facing the closet door. I then noticed the same two maids who had searched the room before. It seemed they were Simmy’s confidants.
Without saying a word, I picked up the tray of food on the bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed. I ate in silence, and thankfully, Simmy didn’t say a word, allowing me to enjoy the food.
But before I could finish, the door opened and my father walked in. I gulped and reached for the glass of juice, drinking it empty before placing it back on the tray.
I looked at Dad, who was staring at me intensely, as if studying me. His gaze made me cringe. I stood up and placed the tray back on the bedside table before facing him. “Dad, what are you doing here?”
He stared at me for a few seconds before looking over at the balcony. “Leave us,” he ordered.
The two maids quickly exited the room. Simmy remained seated, but Dad turned to her. “You too, Simmy. Leave us.”
My lips twitched into a smirk when Simmy’s face soured. She glanced at me briefly before standing and walking out, closing the door behind her. I was left alone with Dad.
I sighed. “What is it, Dad?”
He didn’t say anything but stepped closer, his gaze still fixed on my face. His brows furrowed as he stood in front of me. “Are you alright?”
Dad’s voice was soft, and it took me by surprise. I stepped back, cleared my throat, and looked away. “I’m doing good.”
“Simmy said you’ve been seeing and hearing strange things in this room.” He took a breath. “Are you okay, Azora?”
“Yeah.” My brows furrowed, but I didn’t shoo him away.
We stood in silence for a few seconds before he spoke again. “I’m sorry I had to detain you in this room. It was my own selfishness.”
I pursed my lips. I wanted to tell him I agreed, but I held back. Now that Dad was comforting me, provoking him again wouldn’t be wise. Next time, he might do more than just lock me in this room.
“Azora, tell me. Is what Simmy said true?” I saw Dad glance around the room. “You’re seeing Anthony in here?”
My fists clenched at the mention of Anthony’s name. I hissed. “Don’t mention his name,” I spat.
Dad turned his gaze on me, brows furrowed. “Don’t start a fight again, Azora,” he warned.
I chuckled humorlessly and faced him. “Dad, don’t you feel a bit of conscience?” I opened my mouth and drew a breath as I looked around the room. “I saw Anthony. It’s been a week or so, I guess? I saw him standing on the balcony, in the bathroom, in the closet, and even sitting on the edge of the bed. Dad, I saw him staring at me with his dull eyes!” A lone tear escaped from my eye.
I angrily wiped the tear away and glared at Dad. “He was staring at me, Dad… he was staring at me!” I threw my hands in the air. “I even slept in that bed while he was lying beside me! Tell me how I’m supposed to forget that! Tell me, Dad!”
“Azora…” His face turned pale as he stared at me, disbelief deep in his eyes. “What did he tell you?” he asked darkly.
I laughed bitterly as tears rolled down my cheeks. “Nothing.” I bit my lower lip and looked away. “He said nothing… he was just here with me, making sure I wasn’t lonely as I waited for someone to open that door and take me out.”
I took a deep breath and walked to the balcony. My vision was blurry from the tears, but I shook them away as I stepped outside. I heard Dad’s footsteps behind me and knew he was following.
I stepped to the edge of the railing and held on, looking out into the distance.
The sun hadn’t risen high in the sky yet, so the sunlight penetrated the century-old trees in the distance. Some rays hit the wall of Dad’s mansion, but they hadn’t reached the balcony where I stood.
“You think I’ve lost my mind,” I said, breaking the silence. I saw from the corner of my eye that he stood beside me, looking at the horizon too.
He nodded. “Anyone would. So I came here to see you.”
“See me.” I sneered. “Simmy said I’d lost my mind again. What’s with that word ‘again’?”
Dad stiffened at my question. My brows raised, and I gathered the courage to face him. He was still looking at the horizon, so I wrinkled my nose at his indifference.
“What, Dad?” I asked again, facing him fully.
He sighed and looked at me sideways. “Don’t believe what Simmy told you. She’s lying.”
My eyes narrowed. I turned back to the horizon. “You know she’s a liar.” I wet my lips with my tongue. “She’s a liar. A deceiver. Thick-faced. Cunning. So why are you keeping her?”
“Azora-”
“Just tell me, Dad. Why are you keeping Simmy here? You know we’ll never get along. We have different personalities. I can’t stand her, and she can’t stand me either. So why keep her here?”
“Don’t test my patience, Azora.”
I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, still looking at the sunrise. “She’s a double-faced woman. Yes, she’s treated me well these past few years, but that doesn’t mean I owe her. No. I can’t and won’t, Dad. I will never see her as a replacement for Mom if that’s what you want. Her presence even makes my blood boil.”
“Why do you hate her? Did she do something to make you hate her this much?”
I went silent. Why did I hate Simmy? I thought for a while.
Since I was young, Simmy was there for me. I knew she treated me like her own daughter. I saw it and felt her care, even though she was strict and cold. Yet, I couldn’t name the weird feeling I had. That repulsive feeling started after Mom died in the accident.
But I always ignored it. I treated Simmy as an aunt, a caretaker, sometimes even a family member. But every time I was with her, that repulsive sensation made me withdraw.
I didn’t know why, but it seemed to have served me well. Simmy and I never got too close. After Anthony died, my civilized treatment towards her diminished until I couldn’t stand her advancements with Dad.
Maybe I still blamed Dad for killing Anthony but couldn’t say it to his face, so I blamed others who treated him well, like Simmy. Or maybe I hated Simmy since Mom died, but I couldn’t admit it, and now all my frustration is surfacing?
I didn’t know. I know nothing. But everyone around me blames me for not knowing myself. Is it my fault? Is it my fault that I kind of forgot who I was before?
“Simmy is the one who raised you. She loves you as her own daughter. Why can’t you see how much she cares for you?”
I gulped hard. I gripped the railing tighter, not giving in to my emotions. I was angry at Dad.
“She cares for me. Okay,” I said, disbelief evident in my voice.
“Azora. Don’t use that tone on me,” Dad warned. He took a breath. “You should reconcile with her. Simmy might not be your Mom, but she’s still your godmother.”
I pressed my lips into a line. “Don’t you get it, Dad? I don’t like Simmy.”
“Whether you like her or not, you should at least respect her!”
“Respect?” My brows furrowed. “I tried to respect her, but Dad, I can’t! Just… don’t insist on this. I can’t respect Simmy, whether for you or for her. I can’t respect that woman.”
“Azora!”
“What, Dad!” I snapped. “Respect isn’t something I can give on demand. It’s something to be earned! But she…” I closed my eyes tightly and opened them again. I looked at Dad helplessly. “Simmy didn’t earn my respect, and I bet she never will. How hard is that to accept, Dad? Or do you really want to marry her and replace Mom?”
His expression softened. He looked away. “It’s true I let Simmy stay because I know she loves me.” He glanced at me, then looked at the horizon again. “She promised to protect you, Azora. She promised to treat you as her own daughter, and that’s enough for me.”
“Dad.”
“She will never replace your Mom. She can’t replace her, and we both know that. But I couldn’t let you grow up without a mother figure, so I let her stay. I just…” He drew a breath. “I didn’t expect you to turn out like this… ungrateful and disrespectful to the one who raised you.”
I bit my lip as tears filled my eyes. “I can’t help it,” I whispered. “Simmy raised me, but she didn’t raise me well, Dad. Please… move her away from this house. I can’t stand her anymore. All this time, I’ve been restraining myself, but after what you did to Anthony, I can’t pretend anymore. It’s enough that I turned a blind eye to what I saw that night, but pretending to respect Simmy and ignoring her presence is overwhelming! I can’t do it anymore.”
Silence fell between us. My heartbeat quickened as I waited for Dad’s response. If he agreed to my request, I could finally be at peace.
“Azora, you know that Simmy is important to me.”
“Why? Did you fall in love with her?” I looked at Dad and squinted my eyes. “Please don’t tell me that!”
He shook his head. “Do you remember what I told you about your Mom’s accident?”
I nodded, my brows furrowed.
Dad took another breath. “It was Simmy who called me after that bastard’s call. Simmy told me your Mom had escaped with you and had met an accident. Simmy gave me the necklace, the token of your Mother’s affair with that Clasiso, and told me the story behind it. If not for Simmy’s call, maybe it would’ve been too late to rescue you, Azora. That’s why I trusted Simmy with your life and never regretted it.”
I breathed deeply and looked at Dad. “So… you’re the one who’s truly indebted to her?”
Dad nodded, a sad smile on his lips. “I am indebted to Simmy, but she will never replace your mother. In this life, I only love your mother.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but before I could, I heard heavy footsteps inside the room. Then, the door opened and slammed shut.
I blinked in confusion. Did someone enter the room while Dad and I were talking?