Visions

MALIA’S POV
The first few months of our marriage were everything any woman could have wished for. Ryder was an excellent husband, lover and teacher.
After the coronation ceremony, we had a week’s rest from everything in order to enjoy our honeymoon. Ryder had allowed his Beta to take charge of his duties while he spent time bonding with me.
I was indeed, the most loved woman. I tried to ignore my wolf’s yearning for our mate and I succeeded for the most part. Zade was in the past and I deserved far better than him. He was the one who took our union for granted and threw my love for him in my face.
I would have been dead if not for Ryder. He even made sure my curse was broken. Something Zade could never do. I owed it to Ryder to be loyal and faithful to him. He was my knight in shining armour.
We got back to work after a week. He resumed his duties fully and dedicated about two hours every day to my training. At first, he trained me in the forest. There, he taught me how to fully master my senses, and then how to defend myself and fight in my wolf form.
When he felt that I had nearly mastered fighting in my wolf form, he moved our training sessions to the training field where he first had me focus on hand-to-hand combat and then we moved on to practicing with different methods.
He even had me learn how to play chess. “A war or fight is not just about fighting skills, though they are very important. You also need to be strategic in your thinking. Your mind should be your greatest asset and we are going to train it to become a formidable weapon.” He had explained this to me after one evening of a mentally taxing game of chess when I had grumbled about how unnecessary it was when it came to fighting.
After his explanation, I began to pay more attention to the game and put my whole mind to it.
Soon enough, I was nearly able to outsmart Ryder in a fight. He had me battle with the best of his guards and to my surprise, I was able to defeat them on most occasions even though the cost was often a great deal of bruising. I even got a bone broken on one occasion.
But luckily for me, I had my wolf and healing came instantly.
“So when are you going to let me join the rest of the soldiers to go to war?” I queried one night after a passionate round of lovemaking.
“Really? Who talks about going to war right after making love?” he queried in amusement.
I rolled my eyes at him. “Whatever Ryder. It’s just that I feel like I’m ready. I’m better than nearly all if not all of the soldiers. The other day I even beat Lucien.”
He scoffed. “Please, Lucien is old. I don’t expect you or any one of my soldiers not to be able to beat him.”
I snorted. “Your young soldiers do not have the amount of experience that he has. They do not think as strategically as he does. And as you taught me, the mind can be the most formidable weapon of all. Lucien didn’t just fight me with his fists and weapons, he also fought me with his intelligent mind and I defeated him.”
“Alright, fine. There’s no point in going into any sort of argument with you because I’m never going to win. So what exactly do you want?” he asked.
“I want to start fighting alongside the soldiers of this pack. I think I am ready enough for that,” I answered.
He was quiet for so long that I thought he had slept off. I was about to smack him on the arm when he spoke. “A week. I’m going to let you join them after a week. There are still some of your skills I’m not yet satisfied with.”
I smiled and snuggled even closer to him.
“You’re the best husband in the world,” I said and he snorted. “Yeah right.”
True to his word, I joined the soldiers after a week filled with a series of rigorous assessments which I aced.
“This is the first time that this pack has had a warrior Luna,” he said, gazing upon me with so much pride.
I missed Ronan at that moment and I wondered if he’d be happy with my achievements.
I wasn’t sure he knew yet that I was the one who reported him to Ryder. He’d be so hurt if he eventually got to know.
“Hey, why do you look so sad all of a sudden?” Ryder queried, tilting my chin so that I would meet his eyes. His eyebrows furrowed in concern as he gazed intently at me.
I sighed. “Don’t get mad,” I began and he nodded. “I was just thinking of when you were going to let me see your brother. I know how you feel about letting me do that but you must understand that Ronan and I used to be pretty good friends. I feel so guilty for not going to see how he’s doing.”
I regarded Ryder with pleading eyes and hoped he’d be able to understand where I was coming from.
His eyes hardened a little before he closed them and took in a deep breath. He seemed as though he was struggling to make a decision.
When he opened his eyes, I saw that they had softened. He gave me a small smile and nodded. “You’ll be allowed to see him,” he began and I squealed in excitement.
He held up a finger. “But not now,” he added.
I was still excited anyway. He had given his permission at least.
My phone rang at that moment. It was Penelope. I picked up immediately and frowned. I couldn’t make sense of her words because she was crying and speaking at the same time.
“You know what? Just stay right there. I’ll be with you shortly,” I said and ended the call.
“Let me guess. She’s having one of her episodes because Damien is out and she’s scared he’s not going to come back,” Ryder said in an amused tone.
I gave him a look. “It’s not funny. We both know that she’s normally put together but pregnancy can turn any woman into an emotional mess.”
He held up his hands. “Alright. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you and I sure as hell wasn’t poking fun at her. But I really hope you’d be a lot stronger than her when you’re pregnant with our pup or pups.”
“Yeah yeah,” I nodded and got to my feet. “I need to go to her now. I’ll leave immediately when Damien gets back.”
I had already reached the door when he spoke. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”
I mentally rolled my eyes but I couldn’t help but smile as I walked back to him to kiss him on his lips.
“Am I free to leave now?” I queried in mock exasperation.
He gave me a puppy-eyed look. “It’s not like I can ask you to stay even if I want you to. Your best friend needs you more than I do at this moment.”
I smiled at him and ran my fingers through his hair affectionately. “Don’t worry. I’m going to make it up to you tonight.”
“I can’t wait. Now off you go.”
Of course, Zade, my bodyguard was at the front door to escort me. I had kind of gotten used to him following me everywhere I went. Penelope had nicknamed him my shadow which I was sure he hated.
Aurora was already there with her by the time I got to her chambers.
“I was just passing through and decided to check in on her when I found her like this,” she said.
I took one look at Penelope’s tear-streaked face and red swollen eyes and decided that the idea of pregnancy didn’t appeal to me at all.
I sat beside my best friend and took her hands in mine. “Would you like to tell me what’s wrong?” I asked softly.
She looked at me and I felt a mild rush of panic when she began to tear up again.
Aurora got up to fetch the box of tissues.
“I’m so sorry. It’s not my intention to stress the hell out of everybody,” she sobbed.
“Nonsense. You’re not stressing the hell out of anybody. We are with you because we love you and want to help. Isn’t that right?” I asked turning to look at Aurora who nodded.
“I’ve never been pregnant before but I know and I’ve seen how difficult it can be. You need all the help that you can get and we are more than willing to help,” she said with a small smile on her face.
I drew the box of tissues closer to my best friend and she grabbed one to wipe the tears off her face. She gave Aurora and me a smile filled with gratitude and I felt relieved.
I told Aurora that she could leave if she had to attend to something and it turned out that she had to meet with one of her tutors. But she promised Penelope that she was going to return to check on her later that evening.
“So what do you want to eat? Or aren’t you hungry?” I asked a few seconds after Aurora left the chambers.
She sighed. “I just want sweets. I know that they aren’t too good for the baby but that’s what I crave,” she answered.
I could sense a fresh episode of crying coming up just because she felt guilty about feeding the child in her womb with sweets so I decided to help her get rid of that guilt.
“You can have sweets if you want to. It’s good to satisfy your cravings because it makes you happy. And a happy mother equals a happy and healthy baby,” I said.
Her eyes lit up at that. “Malia, ring the kitchen for sweets right now,” she ordered.
I grinned. “Right away, Your Majesty.”
After pigging out on chocolates and candies, she was back to her usual bubbly self.
“You should get pregnant soon. I need a partner,” she said to me.
I rolled my eyes. “Even if I get pregnant now, we’d barely be partners. Have you forgotten that you are due for delivery next month?”
“Oh. Sometimes I forget,” she murmured with a troubled look in her eyes.
I took her hand and squeezed. “You don’t have to be scared. The pack doctor is very good at his job and I’m very certain you are going to have a safe delivery.”
She sighed deeply. “Malia, I’m not worried about that. I just….” she shook her head. “Never mind.”
I scoffed. “Are you kidding? You know you can tell me anything and I am not going to judge you. So please just tell me what’s bothering you. Just get it off your chest.”
She inhaled deeply and released a long breath. “Am I a bad person for not wanting this child? I do not think I’m ready to raise a child. If I’ve not sorted out the issues I have with myself how am I supposed to raise the child in a healthy way?”
“Oh Penelope,” I sighed and wrapped my arms around her for a moment.
When I released her, I saw that her eyes were filled with tears again. I shook my head. “No, Penelope, we are so not doing this. Listen to me,” I said, framing her face with my hands.
“You are going to be a fantastic mother. Do you know why? You are going to have all the help you need. You’re not going to do this alone. We are all here for you to give you all the emotional strength and support you need. You have nothing to worry about, okay?”
She nodded and gave me a small smile.
“And please do not even try to drown us in your tears because that’s what will eventually happen if you keep on tearing up like this. You’re going to drown the whole palace and all the food in it. You know how much I hate to lose food.”
She giggled and smacked me playfully on my arm.
We talked about other things and I think she felt happy for me when I told her that finally, Ryder had given me permission to go visit Ronan and the others in prison. I could tell she didn’t really like the idea though.
Damien arrived when it was almost time for dinner and I saw the concerned look in his eyes when he took in Penelope’s swollen eyes.
He went straight to hug her and whispered words of comfort and affirmation into her ears.
He thanked me for keeping her company while he was away.
I snorted. “I’m not doing this for free. I’ll expect to be paid when this baby is born,” I joked and he chuckled.
The rest of the month went by pretty fast and I guess it was because I was so absorbed in fighting alongside the other soldiers.
Once, we had a vampire attack, but luckily we were able to kill them all before they got any closer to the rest of the pack.
We also had to go to other packs to help them fight off invaders and rogues.
I soon gained much popularity as I was the only female among the soldiers and I could hold my own on any battlefield against any enemy.
Before I started going with the soldiers to other packs, I had dyed my hair another colour and even had to use purple contact lenses. It was amazing how a different hairstyle and colour and even the eyes could change one’s appearance.
Zade was still out looking for me and my pictures were still being circulated in the other packs, but thanks to my disguise, I was able to avoid detection.
It was even a miracle that no one in my pack apart from Penelope, Ryder, Ronan and unfortunately, Lila, knew about my connection to Zade.
To my dismay, I became well known over the packs as the formidable Luna warrior. I didn’t like popularity one bit but it couldn’t be avoided.
The only other problem with my newly found fame was that my husband seemed to hate it and to my annoyance he no longer allowed me to be involved in all the battles the soldiers fought. Out of ten battles, I was only allowed to fight in two. He claimed he was doing it to protect me.
“Can you imagine?” I complained to Penelope over lunch one afternoon. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say he’s jealous of what I had accomplished.”
She scoffed. “Please don’t be silly. He’s just being protective that’s all,” she said and carried her sleeping baby slowly to his cot. He started wailing immediately she set him down and she sighed resignedly as she picked him back up.
“It’s like he doesn’t want to sleep anywhere else except in my arms,” she complained but with joy in her eyes.
I gave her a sympathetic smile. “Don’t worry, you’d soon be forcing him to give you hugs.”
She sighed. “I don’t want that day to come but I know it has to. It’s all part of growing up.”
Little Damien had stopped wailing and was already fast asleep in his mother’s arms.
Another reason why Ryder had stopped me from going for so many battles was that he wanted me to settle down and start having kids. I felt it was too soon. We had barely spent six months together.
After giving my sleeping godson a kiss on his forehead, I left Penelope’s chambers and returned to mine.
I mumbled a greeting at my husband who was in the living room and started to make my way towards the bedroom.
“A minute, please,” he said and I mentally groaned before walking towards the sofa to settle down beside him.
“Malia, you know how much I hate it when you’re upset with me. I just can’t stand it. I’m just doing this for your own protection. Please try to understand me.”
I tried not to look into his eyes because I didn’t want to be persuaded.
“I’m perfectly capable of protecting myself as you well know. You taught me how to, remember? I am not in any danger, Ryder.”
He sighed. “I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you. I can’t bear to lose you. I know I should have told you this earlier, but the last time the witch who helped you lift the curse and I spoke, she told me that she had been seeing visions of you dying on the battlefield. Naturally, my first thought was to stop you from fighting altogether but I didn’t want you to think of me as cruel.”
I scoffed. “I do not believe in her so-called visions. I’m not going to run and hide because of mere visions,” I said.
He buried his face in his hands for a moment. “Malia, but you know the witch is not a fake. She helped you get your wolf. Her visions are true and I think you should heed her warnings.”
I let out a scream of frustration before storming out of the living room.
I paced the bedroom, desperately wanting to break something. I loved fighting. Going for battles. Why did the Moon Goddess give me this passion then? I wondered.
The days that came after that were filled with Ryder trying to comfort me. At the end of the month, we had a deal. I could go for just a few battles but I never was to be at the forefront.
I didn’t like it but I had to be content with that. At least, it was better than not fighting at all.