I don’t know what time it was, but something was wrong. The cramps were back, my stomach tight. Pushing off the covers I leaned over turning on the bedside lamp.
That’s when I saw it.
The blood smeared against my pyjama pants.
“Babe”. He groaned, turning over. “You, okay?”.
“Blaze I-I’m bleeding”….
He sat up fast, his eyes landing on the blood. “We need to get you to the hospital”.
My mouth became dry. I knew what this was, I was losing our baby. He was on the phone pacing the room. I couldn’t focus on anything other than the blood.
Lots of blood.
All over the bed, all over my pyjamas.
“Jared is close by. He’ll take Everleigh, let’s get going”.
“Blaze there’s-….”.
“Let’s go”. I watched as he pulled on some jeans and a T-shirt.
“Blaze stop-…”. I grabbed hold of his hand. “Look at me, look at the blood. He’s already-…”.
He gripped hold of my chin. “Don’t you say it, don’t you fucking say it”. Tears welled in my eyes, my heart breaking. “You don’t know that”.
I did. I knew that the baby growing in my stomach was no more. “Blaze”. I whispered, our eyes connecting, my heart breaking all over again.
He looked defeated. Trying his hardest not to let me see him cry. “We don’t know yet. Please let me take you to the hospital”.
So, I did. I let him drive me to the hospital where we were currently waiting to see if I had lost our baby or not.
“The fucks taking so long?”.
“Could you go get me some water?”. My nerves were shot. I already knew what the outcome was going to be, but he refused to believe it.
I didn’t want to believe it either, but this was real, and it was happening. The door to the room opened, Mel the nightshift doctor smiled at me.
“How are you doing Ava?”. She walked further into the room standing at the side of the bed.
“Been better”. I smiled.
“I understand you’ve experienced some bleeding. Do you mind if I take a look?”. She asked.
“Sure”. I pulled my leggings under my belly.
“And you’re roughly around 10 weeks?”. The coolness of the gel against my stomach made me tense. This was it; this was when our world was going to fall apart.
“Has she lost him doc?”. Blaze grabbed a hold of my hand squeezing gently.
I squeezed my eyes shut; I couldn’t look. “Experiencing blood in early pregnancy is normal. Was there any pain?”.
“Some cramping but the blood, there was lots of blood”.
I tensed, taking a deep breath when she placed the monitor on my stomach. I bit my lip hard until I tasted blood.
We would never make it through this. Blaze had already lost a child. This would send him over the edge.
“Ah there we go”. The sound of his heartbeat was like music to my ears. My eyes sprung open, tears streaming down my cheeks.
“Your little bean was hiding good”. She smiled. “Heartbeat is strong, measurements are good”. She clicked the screen a few times before handing me some wipes.
“Is it a boy doc?”. Blaze asked.
“Too early to tell I’m afraid. Looking at your records I see you’re scheduled to come back in two weeks. I want you to come back in a few days”.
“Is something wrong, why does she need to come back, is he really okay?”.
“She’s fine I’m just taking precautions. I’ve scheduled you in for Friday at 3”.
“Thanks Mel”.
“Anytime Ava but I want you to take it easy for a few days. Some rest and sleep, I don’t want you stressing”.
“You don’t have to worry about that. I’ll make sure she gets plenty of rest”.
And that’s exactly what he did.
He was driving me insane. I wasn’t even allowed to pee on my own. I had been on couch rest for two days and I was climbing the walls. There was only so much tv I could watch.
“What you glaring at princess?”.
Was I glaring?
He hadn’t left my side and the only time he did was when he went out back for a smoke. He hadn’t even been near the clubhouse, and I hadn’t seen Everleigh in two days. She was staying with my mom so I could rest.
His idea not mine.
Pushing the blanket off I got to my feet. “And where the fuck are you going”. He was in front of me within seconds, his hands resting against my waist.
He had turned into an overprotective caveman. I loved him, but he was getting on my last nerve.
“You’re driving me fucking crazy”. I pushed my way past him so I could get to the kitchen.
“Hold the fuck up”. He stormed after me, his eyes blazing.
“I need 5 minutes on my own Blaze. Go to the clubhouse, fuck go get drunk I really don’t care”. I slammed the glass off the kitchen counter cursing when it smashed into pieces.
“Fuck sake Ava. Come here-….”.
“I’m fine”. I don’t know what it was, but I couldn’t seem to calm the rage building in my stomach. Cooped up in this house wasn’t doing me any favours.
“Babe-…”.
“Please just leave me for 5 minutes”. I chewed the inside of my cheek. I could feel the lump appearing in the back of my throat, my emotions all over the place.
“I’m not fucking leaving you when you’re like this”. He growled.
“I don’t want you here”. I snapped.
“Ava-…”.
“You’re suffocating me”. I yelled, turning my back on him so he couldn’t see my tears. I felt terrible saying it, he was only looking after me and I had to open my big mouth.
I hadn’t released he left. It was only when I heard the roar of his bike that I knew he was gone. That’s when the flood gates opened, and I couldn’t stop.
Why did I have to say that?
I didn’t want to push him away, that wasn’t my intention, but I couldn’t seem to stop the words slipping out.
Running a hand over my face I could feel the heaviness behind my eyes. All I had done for the past two days was eat and sleep.
Fixing myself some tea I grabbed my phone searching for my mom’s number. Bringing the phone to my ear, I waited for her to answer.
“Hey baby, you, okay?”.
“Are you home or at the clubhouse?”. I asked.
“Clubhouse. Ava what’s wrong?”.
“Nothing’s wrong”.
“Then tell me why Blaze is here with a face like thunder. What happened?”.
“He’s there is Everleigh, okay?”. I slipped my feet into my sneakers grabbing my bag from the sideboard.
“Sitting on her dads knee stuffing her face with chocolate”. She laughed.
“I’m coming over. Can you make sure she’s ready?”. I locked the front door heading for my car.
“You tell me what’s wrong Ava. You can’t be stressed after the scare you had”.
“I wish everyone would stop telling me what to do”. I slammed my door shut sitting my phone on the dash. “I’m fine, we’re fine”. I clipped my seatbelt into place.
“You don’t sound fine Ava”.
“How bad of a mood is her dad in?”. I pulled out of the drive to make my way to the clubhouse.
“New prospects had it tight since he got here. You two at it again?”.
“I kicked him out”.
“Again? What did he do this time?”.
“Nothing. This time it was all me”.
“Ah pregnancy at its finest”. She laughed. “He’ll understand honey. Want me to have a word?”.
“No don’t say anything”. I didn’t need her fighting my battles for me. I had to put on my big girl panties and apologise.
“You staying for dinner? We’re expecting visitors this evening”.
“What visitors?”. I asked.
“Marco is coming down. Some business to discuss with your dad”.
“What business?”.
“I don’t know Ava and I don’t want to know. How far away are you?”.
“I won’t be long. Can you bring her outside?”.
“You seriously think you’re going to get away with avoiding him?”.
“I’m not avoiding him”.
“Then come in this damn clubhouse and pick your daughter up yourself”.
“Fine”. I huffed. “I’ll be there soon”.