Katrina has tried so much…. she’s tried to ignore all the voices of cheer and happiness coming from downstairs but she just can’t do it anymore. She hates being the only one who seems unhappy about Miranda’s return. She’s hates being the only one who seems so bitter and hurt.
She feels abandoned and at the same time, she feels as if she’s being selfish for wishing that the queen had never come back. She hates being like this… She hates feeling this bitterness and anger in her heart. She hates whenever she goes to Damian’s bedroom at night and hears the voices of him and Miranda together… she hates it so much.
She’s packed up her suitcase and she’s ready to leave… she can’t stay here anymore, it’s too painful… just too painful she can’t do this anymore. She can’t take the fact that Damian is no longer with her… she can’t take the fact that he has found happiness and she wasn’t the one who gave it to him. She can’t take the fact that the future she has always dreamed about, will never ever happen. She’s now hurt confused and wishes to be very far away from here.
It’s the middle of the night, but she doesn’t care, anywhere that is far away from here is where she will go. She does not care if anything happens to her outside these walls, but it feels as if she’ll be better if she’s far away from here.
All she carried with her was her portable suitcase in which few of her things were arranged inside. She tried leaving through the gates as the guards were appeared to be distracted by all that was going on inside, this was the best chance for her it’s leave; when everyone is focused on Miranda, even those outside.
As she left through the gates, she walked along the road, breathing in the fresh air, feeling much more relieved, back there it was as if she was choked up in all the merriment, like it was all against her.
She knows this is wrong, by leaving, she’s giving Damian another reason to worry, especially since he just solved one problem, but she just can’t do it anymore as it’s too painful for her to remain here.
She’d walked for a bit and almost reached the road leading to town when she suddenly heard someone call her name from behind.
“Katrina! Wait!!! Where are you going???”
Who is it? She hadn’t turned back yet still wondering who could have noticed her leaving amidst all the distraction and noise.
The familiar voice struck her retentive memory then.
Renard.
What was he doing here? And why the hell did he follow her??? She wondered as she turned to face him.
“Why did you follow me?”
“I should be the one asking you,… where the hell are you going without telling anyone? And what’s that for…?” He asked, referring to her suitcase in her hand.
“It’s none of your business!” She stomped. “I choose wherever I want to go, it does not concern you. ”
“What about Alpha Damian? Even if it doesn’t concern me, what about him? Would you like it that he’d start worrying himself again trying to find you? You should at least be considerate by telling someone where you’re going….”
“Alpha Damian does not need to know where I’m going…. Because I don’t want him to.”
“Why?”
She turned her face away to hide her small tears, “I can’t tell you…. Please, just leave me alone. Tell him that he does not need to bother to find me…. I’ll manage on my own…”
She turned. She was about leaving when his next set of words stopped her….
“Is it because of what happened between the two of you, because he’s now happy with someone else when you wished it should’ve been you?”
“Thats none of your business….”
“I know it isn’t, but alpha Damian gave me the responsibility of taking care of you, which means I’m responsible for your safety… I’m watching you Katrina, and I really don’t want you to hurt yourself because of this….”
“Do you see me hurting myself in any way?”
“Yes, you are… You might not be doing it physically, but you are… Emotionally… By refusing to forgive, by refusing to let go so you can look forward to happier memories, you are hurting yourself Katrina…”
“I don’t expect you to understand… I don’t expect you to understand how any of this feels…. How hurt I feel… How much I hate Miranda!!”
“You see Katrina, this is what I meant by you hurting yourself…”
“Leave me alone Renard! Save your lectures for someone else who needs them..”
She was about to continue walking when he quickly ran in front of her, blocking her from going any further…
“Why are you doing this??? Why won’t you leave me alone???”
“It’s the middle of the night Katrina, miscreants might be roaming about. Are you really about to hurt yourself physically because of this???”
“If that will make me forget…. Then yes, if I am about to receive a greater pain that will make me forget about the one I feel in my heart, then yes..”
“Katrina, please realize that you cannot solve problems by running from them… You cannot forget pain by inflicting more pain… Please understand that things will get better if you forgive, if you learn to let go….”
She began to yell, “Leave me alone Renard! I know what you have in mind, okay….?? I know that the only reason you are here is because you have feelings for me…. If you think you can win me over with this sympathy show, you’re wasting your time…. It will never work… I will never ever stoop so low as to be with someone like you…”
She saw the flash of pain in his eyes then…. The one she’d caused… He was only trying to help her, she knows, but she doesn’t need his help! In fact, what he’s doing is far from helping. She just wants everyone to leave her alone!
“If that’s how you feel….”
“That’s exactly how I feel.. Now you know that I do not return your feelings, so stop wasting your time.”
Her let her go then, sadly watching as she dragged her suitcase, moving away from him, and into the outskirts of the late-night town.