“Annie! You’re back. For a moment there I thought someone had broken into the bookstore.”
Ashleigh’s voice shattered Rhianna’s concentration, and she glanced up from her book, startled by the other woman’s arrival. It was still early, just past six thirty. She hadn’t expected Ashleigh to arrive for at least another hour and a half.
“And you’re here very early. Did Nors kick you out of bed?” There was a teasing note to her voice as she set the book beside her on sofa and stretched to get some of the kinks out of her neck. She’d arrived at the bookstore a couple of hours ago, unable to sleep and not wanting to disturb Caleb. He appeared to be getting the first decent night’s sleep since they’d been apart; it had seemed a shame to disturb him with her restlessness. The bookstore had offered the perfect place for some uninterrupted solitude as she began reading the two books Anakatrine had selected. She just hadn’t figured on Ashleigh coming in so early.
Truth be told, she had missed the comfort she’d always found in the bookstore. As a vampire, her appearance no longer aged so being there daily had no longer been an option. It had been almost 15 years since her last visit. The running of the shop had been handed over to the pack, with different members rotating every few years to keep suspicion to a minimum. Ashleigh had taken the first five, and had just recently resumed that role again. Her youthful appearance meant she could pass as a younger relative if need be, but so far none of the patrons had appeared to notice anything unusual.
Rhianna knew that they would have to sell the place soon. The mere thought of it broke her heart, but keeping their secret was more important. She knew it would break Ashleigh’s too, and that was the reason the younger woman had asked to be the final manager. The blonde wolf had come to find the same inner peace in the bookstore as she did. It had helped her cope with the loss of her family, and it appeared to be a safe haven for her as she struggled with her current dilemma.
Rhianna hadn’t realised just how much she’d missed her sanctuary until she’d seen Anakatrine’s library. It was only then she’d realised that she shared the same love of books as the vampire Queen. Anakatrine had owned an extensive library. Rhianna had chosen to open a bookstore when she’d first lost Rafe. The synchronicity wasn’t lost on her, nor was the feeling that a sense of closure hung in the air. She didn’t want to think of that at the moment though, and was glad when her friend spoke.
“I couldn’t sleep,” Ashleigh sighed, running a hand through her wispy, blond hair. Dark, black circles shadowed her eyes and her face was etched with a deep frown. It was clear that she was struggling with the torrent of recent events.
“Same here.” Rhianna picked up an empty coffee cup from the table in front of her as she rose from her seat. “Coffee?”
Ashleigh nodded, her expression softening as she sat down on the sofa. Her eyes unconsciously scanned over the snug area of the bookstore where patrons could sip coffee while sitting on comfortable seats to read. It was her favourite part of the shop. Floor to ceiling bookcases separated it from the main part of the store, offering a semblance of privacy. She sat here often when she had things on her mind. “Have you seen Rafe yet?”
“I called him last night and let him know I was home. I had some things to do before I headed over, some research that may help us.” Rhianna returned with the coffees and set them down on the table. She took a seat next to her friend, her expression sympathetic. “Rafe told me you’re having a hard time with what’s been happening. Do you want to talk about it? I imagine you may have some things you would like to say to me personally, as I played such a large part in what occurred up at the Praetorian Compound.” Her tone was soft and encouraging; she realized that the emotions her friend was experiencing were in stark contrast to her normally sunny disposition, and therefore, part of her struggle.
There was a long silence as Ashleigh appeared to try to verbalise what was running through her mind before she sighed and ran a hand through her hair again. “I’ve often wondered how you do what you do and make it seem so easy, Annie. I don’t think any of us have ever realised how hard it is for you… not until now. I think I can understand a little, because I am so torn with everything that’s happened.”
She turned haunted brown eyes to the vampire. “Part of me was so angry that you didn’t allow Caleb to kill Thereasa, though I knew you must have had a reason for it and it would have hurt Liam to his very core. I know that’s wrong, but I still had those feelings. I’ve been working on understanding-or trying to-but it’s been hard having that woman in my home with Liam claiming her as his mate. I want Liam to be happy, but not with her .”
Ashleigh swallowed hard and reached for her coffee, needing something to occupy her hands. “Annie, to have such hatred for that woman in my heart, knowing that I’m hurting my son, is ripping me apart. I don’t know how to reconcile all these conflicting emotions. I want to be there for Liam, yet I find myself pushing him further away. I can’t bear the thought of losing him, but I can’t find it in my heart to forgive Reasa either.”
The self-loathing evident in Ashleigh’s voice weighed heavily on Rhianna. She stood up and took a few steps away, before pacing back towards the sofa, her heart filled with empathy for her friend. “I don’t always understand why Anakatrine chooses to do what she does. I just know she has a reason for it and I have to have faith in her. There is no denying that Thereasa has made mistakes, some truly appalling ones, but there is good within her.”
Kneeling before Ashleigh, Rhianna gently removed the cup from her hands so she could hold them tightly. “You know it’s natural to have these feelings, Ash. You almost lost your son and there is nothing stronger than a mother’s love for her child. You should spend less time beating yourself up for feeling this way and accept that it’s okay to be human.”
“I’ve tried, Annie. I’ve tried so hard, but I can’t see anything beyond the fact that she came here to murder my son.”
Ashleigh’s confession was full of misery. It was heart-rending to hear the conflict, the raw pain in her voice. “Stop and think of who you are… what you are, honey. You are pack and you are wolf. The mating instinct is a part of you; it shapes you personally and it shapes every Were in existence. The Varcolac follow that same mating instinct. For Liam’s wolf to choose Thereasa means there is something worth choosing. She completes him, Ash. He needs her to help him with his empathic abilities and she needs him, too.”