“Za- Zachary?”
I looked at him stunned and startled to see him all of a sudden before me. He pushed himself up and squatted in his position looking up at me with widened eyes as if like me he was shocked to find me standing before him. It felt as though I had left him just yesterday but the facial hair which I had never seen before in his face, eye bags as if he had not slept for days and the emptiness in his eyes proved me that it had been so many days since I had met him.
“Ju-Juliette?” he voice. Oh, his raspy yet husky voice reached my ears and it was enough to break me out of my step proving that I wasn’t dreaming. The man was right before me, with his knees down and head up looking at me. The man was real.
But the disbelief look in his eyes and his facial expression shocked me because it was probably the first time ever when I was actually seeing some expressions in his face apart from the regular stoic, stern expression.
What is he even doing here?
“S-Sir” I heard someone yelling and looked towards my side to find none but Willi running to where we were. That brought me out of my state and I looked back at Zachary who was still looking at me as if I were some ghost. Finally, I saw movement in his body as he slowly tried to raise his hand up as if he wanted to touch me but before he could do that I took a step back which resulted in him to stop his action in mid air.
“Juliette?”
Exhaling out the air from my mouth I looked at the wallet in my hand.
So, it’s his I guess.
“You dropped it back there. I just wanted to return it to you,” I said as I forwarded my hand for him to take the wallet. He grasped the wallet and as he took it from me I turned around and started walking back towards the club in order to gather up my girls and leave the place.
“Wait! Juliette!” I heard him and that was enough for me to break. My hands formed in tight fists and my lips trembled as the tears fell down my cheeks but I refused to stop and look back. I continued to walk until I saw Kiara and asked her to leave. At first, she started to fight with me but then when she noticed my tear stained face and my expression, even in her tipsy state she managed to get a hold of herself and she got hold my arm as she turned around searching for the other girls.
“What happened to you all of a sudden?” Tess asked as she walked to her car looking annoyed.
“Shut it, Tess!” Marianna hissed at her. Marianna was the only one who was still in her sober state while Tess swayed while she walked with a frown on her forehead.
“I was just saying,” Tess complained and I felt Kiara squeezing my arm. I looked at her to find her looking at me.
“What’s wrong?” she asked softly.
Should I tell her?
“N-Nothing,” I said and looked at my feet as we walked to the car.
What do I have to meet him again? I thought everything is finished and just after months of suffering when I finally thought about moving forward I face him again. Just why? Why does he have to show up before me again? Was it not enough?
So why?
“Juliette!” I choked on my own breath when I heard that voice.
“Juliette wait!”
Zachary.
I thought he left.
“Listen to m-”
“Let’s go, guys!” I said and pull the door of the car open in order to get in.
“Hey, someone is calling you!” Marianna said as she looked at me from the driver’s seat and I felt Kiara again squeezing my arm but this time it was a tight grasp.
“Isn’t that Zacha-” I cut her off and went inside the car.
“Let’s go!” I asked Marianna and she looked at me and then perhaps towards Zachary who was probably strolling towards us. The other girls looked confused but chose to be quiet and got in before Marianna again looked at me through the rearview mirror wanting to make sure if I wanted to leave even after being called countless times by Zachary. I nodded at her and reluctantly she ignited the engine and we drove off. I could still hear his faint voice as I leaned against the window and chose to close my eyes for a bit.
Just why?
What is this chapter of my story?
The drive back to home was quiet. Everyone kept quiet as Marianna drove us back. Tess would glance at me with a question look still wanting to know about Zachary. I chose to ignore her and I knew Kiara was surely going to interrogate me once we reached back home.
What a drag.
Why is my life like this?
The street lights had my whole attention as I leaned my head against the car seat and looked up at the dark sky counting the street lights that we passed mindlessly in hope of averting my mind from him. But I guess it was useless. He was my mind after all. How can I even avert my mind when he has already taken over it since the time I have fallen for him.
“But I got to say this he was hot!” Tess said all of a sudden making me sigh.
“Shut up!” Kiara said and the drive back home fell into a silence once again.
“Juliette!” I took in a deep breath ignoring Kiara who was walking behind me towards my room.
“Leave me alone!” I said feeling low.
“Will you tell me what is going on?” she asked with a tint of irritation in her voice which made me stop in my tracks right in the entrance of my room.
” I’ll let you know once I found out myself what’s going on,” and with that, I pushed the door shut not wanting to deal with her questions. At the moment I just wanted to be left alone.
“Not again!” I heard her voice from the outside and minutes later she left. I slid down onto the floor with my back against the door as I wrapped my arms around my knees and put my head on my forearm feeling drained out.
His eyes kept barging into my thoughts. The disbelieving look on his face and his condition. What has been up to all these days? Is he really with Loana now? That shouldn’t be any of concern though. But still… I just can’t forget everything this easily. But I know, I must erase him out of my mind, thoughts and.. and… God damn it! How will I erase him from my heart?
Why? Just why is it so hard for me not to think about him? Why did I even fell for him? Why did he even do to make me fall to this extent in love with him? So why am I the only one suffering?
I put my hands on my ears as I heard my own self mocking at me. It was no one but me who was mocking the existence of me. I knew nobody was to be blamed for everything that has been going with me but me. Just why does he have to show himself to me after so many days? I gritted my teeth and hit the wall next to. The pain that I felt when I punched the wall was nothing compared to what I was going through right now. Just nothing.
~
Past three in the morning. All I have been doing is staring the ceiling blankly. No matter how much I tried I just couldn’t sleep. Turning into my side I looked at the sky through the glass window next to my bed. It was a full moon day. Everything was clearly visible because of the moonlight. It was a silent outside and as I gazed at the moon, I couldn’t help but feel lonely. The calm and peaceful night was like a curse for me. Because it didn’t help but get my wounds even deeper as the silence around me made me think more about him. I just couldn’t get him out of my mind.
Draping the shawl around me, I walked out of my room wanting to get fresh air. The rooms were dark but I knew my way as I was habituated to it. As I passed Kiara’s room I stopped in my tracks when I heard some mumbling. The door to her room was open slightly ajar and I peeked inside to find her strangled with the sheet as she sleep talked to herself. I sighed as it was her childhood habit of sleep talking and I opened the door and walked in.
“Tell me what is your problem ummmm tell me. I can solve every problem” she mumbled and a smile cracked onto my face as I saw her scratching her back and then kicking the sheet out of the bed.
“I guess old habits never change,” I mumbled to myself as I picked up the sheet and covered her.
“Tell me” she kept on mumbling.
I felt bad because of me she was also having mental stress. As if her family wasn’t enough I burdened her with my behavior and problems too. As I turned around and walked out of the room I stopped in my tracks when I heard her “Don’t worry I think he loves you too.”
“That was a thing which would happen only in dreams Kiara,” I muttered and walked out before closing the door behind me.
I pulled the shawl to myself as I looked out of the glass window. I didn’t really feel like going outside today for a walk. The police car drove by patrolling the region and I couldn’t feel bad for those officers who work hard during the nighttime just for our safety. They are the true heroes.
My phone beeped and I looked back towards the sofa where I put it seeing a message pop up. I ignored it thinking it must be from the customer care but then as I turned back a gasp escaped my mouth and I lost my balance and stumbled backward but held the edge of the sofa stopping myself from falling.
“Zac-Zachary?” I said out loud when I saw him standing right behind the glass window before me.
What the hell?
Where did he come from all of a sudden?
How does he know where I live?
Why is even here?
A lot of questions popped into my mind as I took in his form. He was wearing the same black suit with few of his chest button undone, hair was messy and he looked as if he was in some kind of trouble.
“Zachary?” I still couldn’t believe my eyes. He scared the life out of me. He caught me off guard when I turned around only to find him looking straight into my eyes standing quietly right behind the glass.
“Wha-What?” words were not forming in my mouth but I could feel the rising pulse and I swallowed the lump in my throat.
I stood straight and took a few steps forward, still not believing it.
He stood there quietly staring at me as I walked forward. But as I reached near to the window, he placed his hand on it from the outside and leaned closer.
“Juliette, its you!” he spoke and his voice felt as if he was breaking down. His state made me confuse yet worried. What was with him? Why is he like this?
As I waited for him to speak further, my patience level drained out when he didn’t utter a single word. It was when I broke out of my state and placed my hand on the window.
“What are you doing here at this time of the night? And how did you even get inside the boundary?” I asked but all he did was stare at me.
“Zachary!”
“Zachary!”
“It’s you! Juliette,” he spoke and I stopped asking him questions.
“What is wrong with you?” I asked even though I hoped no reply from his side still he opened his mouth to say: “Open the door and let me in!”
“What?” I asked incredulously.
“Open the door!”
“No! Just leave!” I said and turned around to leave but he banged on the glass window like a maniac.
“What do you think you are doing? Are you mad?” I hissed at him.
“Let me in!”
“No!” I said and turned around to leave. As I walked towards my room, I gasped and stopped in my tracks and looked the glass door towards the left with wide eyes. There he was huffing as he looked inside. He ran all the way to the other side of the house to the glass door.
“What do you think you are doing? Just leave Zachary!” I said and as I walked towards him he coughed and the moment collapsed down all of a sudden stopping the breath out of me.
“What?”
“Zachary!” I screamed and ran to him. What just happened? Why did he collapse? As I ran I could feel my eyes watering looking at his collapsed form on the ground.
Undoing the lock, I opened the door and knelt down next to him and held his arm “Zachary! Zachar-”
“I knew it!” a gasp escaped my mouth when he held my hand and looked at me.
“W-What?”
“I knew that you care for me don’t you?” he asked and I looked down at him as if I just saw some ghost.
“What is the meaning of all this?” I gritted out and jerked his hand away as I got up and turned around to go back. That idiot. Who does he think he is? How dare he trick me? And just look at me how shameless I am. I am still running to him like a mad woman who is deeply in love with her husband. Well…
As I turned to shove the door, he stopped it and tried to push it open.
“Just what do you think you are doing? Stop it!” I hissed at him as I tried to shut the door.
“Move aside and let me in!” he said and effortlessly pushed the door and barged in with me taking few steps back as he shut the door behind him.
“Just who do you think you are barging inside somebody’s house like this in the middle of the nigh-”
I was engulfed into a tight hug as he buried his face in the crook of neck nd held the back of my head and waist stopping me from talking any further.
“Wh- What?” is what formed in my mouth out of shock.
“Who is shouting?” I heard Kiara and looked at the side from above Zachary’s shoulder to see her rubbing her sleepy eyes and holding the pillow to her chest as she yawned and walked out of her room but as she realized what was going on she stopped in her tracks and looked at us with wide eyes. Then she realized who the person was who was still embracing me refusing to let go of me.
“Oh my god! I am sleeping!” she cracked a nervous yet weird laugh as she took few steps backward. I raised my hand in her direction wanting to stop her from leaving me alone with Zachary but she kept on mumbling “I am still sleepin? Oh my God!” and vanished into the dark and shut the door close.
Kiara I am going to kill you!
“W-What are you doing?” I realised he was still clinging to me. I tried to push him but to no avail did he budge.
“Let go Zachary!” I pushed harder.
“Never!” he wrapped both of his arms around my waist and pulled me even closer blocking the air out of me. But in that position the blocking of air out of my lungs didn’t shock me but his words did.