I stare blankly at the glass wall where I made love to Camila. My apartment is dead silent, and the only thing I can hear is my own constant sighing. It’s even difficult to breathe when my only companion is my guilt over her. One night, I sleep at the hotel since this place reminds me of her. I admit I got it fucking bad.
Camila wasn’t supposed to find it out that way, but it’s too late to blame myself for that. That bitch screwed up everything-from my life to my future with Camila.
What am I gonna do now?
You’re not good at following rules, Pyke, now what stopping you? My brain still functions I guess.
My holiday didn’t go as I planned-I fucked up. Even my family seemed to notice me zoning out a lot. I found them exchanging glances, but they didn’t pry me though. I guess, they got the answers on their own.
I sent her messages and my Christmas gifts, but not a single reply from her I ever received nor a Merry Christmas GIF.
Should I let her go? I ask myself before I get drunk.
I don’t think I can take it. My answer is the same-like a broken record. I’m drowned with alcohol every night, but all I get is a hangover every time I wake up and still no signs of Camila.
Fuck me! My brain is already twisted on how to make everything right. I screwed up big time. No more Xandry besides me, no Kyland to talk to. Bash is always busy with his family and business. Saph is not answering my call. Parker is busy planning his wedding.
Shit! I’m completely alone.
Oddly, my phone buzzes. A message from my mother telling me to meet at our house.
I spend a good amount of time in my shower and finally change to comfortable clothes that I haven’t done in a century. I even shave and spray a cologne to look human in front of my family.
Shit! Camila, you’re driving me insane. The only thing is keeping me sane is the daily message from her aunt telling me about Camila’s whereabouts. It’s creepy, I know. Issa tells me to give Camila sometime and that’s what I’m doing. Honestly, it’s hard to wait, but what’s harder is if I’m waiting for nothing.
I find my family sitting in the gilded framed French sofa upholstered with golden damask satin. My brows knot when I notice the expression on their faces, including my beautiful mother that looks like she cried for an hour.
“Looks like I’m not having a shitty day alone, huh?” I try to lighten up the tensions around this room.
Mom smiles at me despite the sadness in her eyes. “Hello, sweetie.” She pulls me into a hug and rubs my back, then kisses my cheek.
“Park, don’t I get a wet kiss on my cheek, too?” I joke.
He stands forcibly and walks toward me. “Hey, bro.” He hugs me tighter and longer than necessary.
Why do I feel something is really going on in this family? I know Dad already told Parker about Cameron as Camila’s dad, but I feel there’s another bomb that is about to be dropped. Or it already dropped.
“You okay, bro?” I ask him and search for something on his face after breaking the brotherly hug we did.
He just presses his lips into a thin line then nods glumly. His shoulders sag and then goes back to sit.
“What’s going on, Mom?” I ask Mom who’s already sitting.
Dad doesn’t meet my gaze as he sits on a single sofa with fingers interlaced on his lap.
“Come here, sweetie. Sit beside Mom.” Mom taps the empty space on her side.
“Have a seat, Pyke. I have something to tell everyone,” Dad finally talks. His voice is soft but guarded.
I take a seat beside mom and squeeze her knee. She takes my hand and interlaces it with hers.
My stomach knots of the anticipation of what Dad is about to say. I know this is bad news since the tension and silence are making my nerves on edge.
What else should I know?
“Okay, since I am the head of this family, I don’t want to keep any more secrets. My number one priority is my family-whether I keep something from all of you or not. I’m keeping secrets, but not for my own good, for the benefit of everyone.”
“I know both of you still remember the constant traveling of your mom to Italy when you, Pyke still in high school and Parker still in college. We lied to both of you about it- we’re separated that time.”
I know something about this, at least that’s what the PI gathered information about Dad’s affair with Athena. Mom and Dad were separated for months at that time, but they’re good at acting I guess. I knew and sensed something was weird, but I was busy with my life and friends to suspect something was really wrong between them. Despite that, they made sure that I and Parker still had a solid family regardless of their marriage had been through a tough time.
“Don’t get me wrong, I love your mom and this family more than anything. When your mom decided to come back, I confessed to her that I was having an affair with Athena, with a contract, which I’m used to that confidentiality agreement before I married your mom. Athena signed the contract which was stated to the proper use of birth control and to terminate the pregnancy immediately but she still tricked me, then turned hysterical and tried to kill herself when I told her to terminate the pregnancy. Her family sent her away, then years later she came back for Pyke. The rest you all know what happened.”
I squeeze Mom’s hand and kiss the side of her head. I know Dad hurt her, but she forgave him and chose to stay with us and fixed our family again.
“This afternoon, I asked Parker to take some files from my office, unfortunately, he found something that I’ve been keeping for more than two decades. I may be a bad father, but God knows how much I love the two of you. To cut the story short, Parker found important documents-” Dad pauses and looks at Parker who’s just playing with his thumbs.
“Parker is not my own…” Dad trails off.
My eyes widen. My jaw drops and just stares at my father like I don’t comprehend what he’s saying. Mom sobs beside me and feels her hand squeezing me. I look at a Mom who’s staring at me then nods to confirm. I close my mouth and swallow down my now dried throat.
I chuckle, “What sick joke is this, Dad? Park is my brother? Look at us.” I point to my face and to Parker who is sitting across me. “We look like twins, only Park is two and a half years older than me.”
“We’re not brothers, bro. We’re cousins,” Parker says with a huskier voice. He sounds serious and affected by this whole situation.
“This is just a joke, right, Dad?” I look at Dad and wait for him to nod, but to my dismay, he shakes his head.
I shake my head, too, and chuckle sarcastically. “What else secrets your hiding from this you-called family, Dad?”
“This is not easy for me to hide secrets like this, Pyke. This is not what I want in my life. I love Parker like my own son. I never treated him like my nephew. What happened to Camila’s father and to Parker’s dad had been taunting me every night since then.”
I’ve never seen Dad so sad until today, he seems lost. His words come from his heart.
“Forgive me, Parker, Pyke. I don’t want you both to know about this because Park had been my own since I cuddle him into my arms twenty-one years ago.”
“It’s okay, Dad,” Parker answers.
My eyes water at how soft Parker’s heart is. He’s been my perfect brother, my hero, and my best friend.
“What happened to his parents?” my voice shakes.
“Before I’ll tell you both, please don’t judge him,” Dad begs.
“We won’t, Dad,” Parker responds.
I nod at Dad and turn my head to Mom and kiss her cheek.
“Perry is older than me by two minutes.”
“You have a twin?” Parker and I shout in unison.
We both look at each other then back to Dad. It’s comical if this conversation is not so damn serious.
“What happened to him? Where is he now?” I ask.
“He’s in prison,” Dad whispers.
Parker shakes to cry. He’s always been the strongest, but tonight he seems so lost. Mom stands up and moves to Parker, hugging him like she always did to us when we were sad.
“How did he end up in prison?”
Dad explains everything from start to end. Uncle Perry married his girlfriend after dating for three months. They looked perfect together-so much in love. His wife got pregnant after two months of marriage. Dad said it wasn’t part of the plan for the couple, nevertheless, everyone in the family was happy especially their parents since Parker would be the first grandson.
Uncle Perry and Reese lived their lives in luxury. Reese didn’t mention her family though, until one day she asked for a divorce out of the blue. Then Uncle Perry found out that all she wanted was Hughes’ fortune and unfortunately for my uncle, they didn’t sign a prenuptial agreement. She took Parker away without telling her husband until someone tipped him off. He found out that she had been with a man before they even met. Uncle Perry found Parker lying on the couch crying and sucking his thumb while his wife was kneeling blowheading the other man’s cock.
That was a horrible year for Hughes. Uncle Perry was charged with double murder and sentenced to life imprisonment.
I find myself wiping my eyes that I don’t know I’m already crying.
“I’m sorry, Dad for judging you.” I pull him into a hug, and it feels comforting after the revelation.
“It’s okay, son.”
“Can we see him?”
Dad nods. “Of course, after New Year. We always visit him every year. He didn’t want to be visited often.”
“Park?” I shake to cry in his hug, and I know he’s crying, too.
“You’re my brother, bro. Our fathers are twins after all. We may not have the same mother but we have the same blood running through our veins. I love you, Park.”
New Year’s Eve
“You two, down now!”
I hear Parker’s fiancée, Emily calls us from the game room’s door. I roll my eyes and check my phone for the time-it’s not even near twelve midnight. Dad never allows us to spend New Year’s Eve outside our home-it’s part of our family tradition. He said we can only do it once we are married.
Emily calls us again.
“Seriously, is she always this annoying?” I ask to distract Parker when he almost near to the goal.
Who plays a football game on New Year’s Eve? It’s his idea.
“She’s pregnant, bro. Leave her alone,” he says, eyes focus on the screen. “Yeah!” he announces.
I know I can’t beat him. We just want to kill the time and maybe forget Camila for a while.
Mom and Emily are having their girls bonding down. I never hear guests coming over either. I know Emily’s family won’t be here since her parents are divorced and she doesn’t want to spend in either one of them.
“Let’s go down before Em will let me sleep on the floor.” He stands up, dusts off his dark pants, and fixes his blue polo shirt.
I stand up, run my fingers through my hair, and feel suddenly hollow. As always, I instantly remember Camila like every-fucking-second.
“Be nice tonight, okay?” Parker taps my shoulder and walks away.
“I always am, ass.”
I follow him as he approaches the imperial staircases with golden and black custom iron-wrought railings. A new huge 19th-century style chandelier is hanging from the royally inspired ceiling Mom just ordered abroad last month.
I’m always excited to spend time like this with my family because I know they’re the only permanent people in my life, but now my life seems incomplete. There is a huge hollow inside my chest that I know only one person can fill it, but now it seems impossible to happen.
“Hi, Pyke.”