The two of them chuckle in unison.
“Jesus Christ, calm down.” Seb laughs.
I run my both hands through my hair. “This woman has got me going fucking crazy.”
“So, do something about it.”
“I can’t fuck her!” I snap. “You don’t just fuck a girl like Charlotte.”
“No, you don’t.” Seb shakes his head. “You fuck her, you marry her. Hands down, one-hundred percent.”
I begin to perspire. “See?” I point my knife at them. “I can’t get married.”
“Why not?” Masters frowns.
“Because, I’ve seen the hell you two have been through and I’m not wired to be with just one woman.”
“I didn’t think I was either,” Masters says.
“What made you change?” I ask.
He shrugs. “I didn’t want anyone else touching me but her.”
I stare at him.
“And I didn’t want to touch anybody else. It stopped being just about the sex and more about when I got to spend time alone with her.”
I shake my head in disgust and look at Seb. “See, this is what I’m talking about. Nothing good can come of this.” I bite my food off my fork with force. “You’re pathetic, by the way, Masters.”
He nods. “I get it, Spence. Run. Run the fuck away now.”
“I did.”
“Then why is it pissing you off?” Masters ask.
“Because she’s so fucking perfect I can’t even deal with it. I’ve jerked off so many times that my dick is chaffed, and I can’t get any satisfaction from that. I didn’t go out all weekend because I didn’t want to sleep with anybody else.”
Masters shakes his head. “Yeah, that sounds about right. Hate to tell you, but you’re pretty much fucked already, man.”
I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. “Sheridan is in town this week. She’ll snap me out of it.”
“God, you’ve been on and off with her for a long time.”
“About ten years, I think.”
“Why don’t you just make a go of it with her?” Masters frowns.
I screw up my face in disgust. “It’s not like that between us.”
“So, let me get this straight: you’ve been fucking this chick from New York for ten years and you don’t even think about her once when you’re not with her?”
“God, no, never,” I answer with certainty. “I’m not being a stepfather to her three bratty kids, and I definitely don’t want to move to the states. Nor do I want her moving here. We just have fun.” I scowl and look up at the ceiling. “I think she’s even got a boyfriend now.”
“But she’ll call you the minute she gets into town and you’ll go to her hotel.”
“Oh, yeah, I’ll fuck her ’til she can’t walk.” I bite the food from my fork. “When she’s in London, she’s mine.”
“How often does she come here?”
“Four times a year.”
“How long does she stay each visit?”
I shrug. “Ten days or so.”
“Like I said,” Seb mutters. “Why doesn’t this fucking shit ever happen to me?”
We continue to eat our breakfast, and the boys talk and chatter cheerfully, but my mind is in Nottingham… with Charlotte.
I hate that she thinks that this is about her. This isn’t about her, it’s about me and what I can’t be.
If I go there, eventually I’ll fuck it up. I know I will, and I can’t stand the thought of that.
It’s best to just leave it as it stands. I can’t see her again.
I exhale heavily at the depressing thought, and I stare out of the window, feeling like shit.
“Fuck’s sake, snap out of it.” Masters groans.
“Whatever.” I sigh, tucking into my breakfast again.
It’s going to be a long day.
Charlotte
Lara falls into the seat opposite me. “Good Lord, I need a strong drink. Can you buy it by the bottle here?” She sighs.
I smile and sip my wine. “What happened?”
She throws her hands up in the air. “Ugh, where do I start?” She holds her finger up. “Oh, I know, let’s start with the fact that there was a pubic hair on my desk this morning when I got to work.”
“What?” I gasp.
“That stupid wench from accounts is fucking somebody, and she’s doing it on my desk.”
I put my hand over my mouth and stifle a laugh. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.” She frowns, horrified. “I called the other girls into my office and we all agreed that the hair was definitely pubic. We had a two-hour discussion over it.”
My eyes widen. “What did you do?”
“Disinfected the hell out of everything, and then put a complaint into management.”
“I have no words.”
She shakes her head in disgust. “I do. Get a fucking room.” She pours herself a glass of wine, but she’s so distracted that it sloshes over the side. “It’s disgusting. Now everywhere I look in the office, I imagine her huge hairy vagina has been on it, getting pummelled.” She sticks her fingers down her throat to fake vomit. “Oh, and don’t even get me started on the kitchen. I’m never eating my lunch on that table again.”
I tip my head back and laugh. God, Lara is really riled up about this.
“Anyway.” She shakes her head. “How was your weekend?”
“Good.” I shrug, and I feel a little sadness creep back in. I’ve been bummed all weekend over Spencer not wanting me. I’m embarrassed and I wish the whole nightmare hadn’t happened.
She sips her wine and watches me. “What is that look?”
“I saw Spencer last week.”
She frowns. “What? Where?”
“He came to my work.”
“Spencer Jones? The Spencer from the other night? The one you kissed at the wedding?”
I nod with a sad smile.
Her mouth falls open and she leans against the table. “What did he want?”
“We went out for dinner.”
“What? Like, on a date?”
I nod and try to hide my smile. “He had the day off, and he waited outside work for me to finish.”
She sits back in her seat. “Holy shit.”
I shrug. “So, yeah, that happened.”
She frowns. “What exactly happened?”
“Nothing.”
Her eyes widen. “Charlotte… I am all for you finally going on a date and all, but with him? We both Googled him last week when you kissed him, remember?”
I twist my lips.
“He’s a total womaniser.” She tuts.
“I know that. I won’t see him again, don’t worry. It was just nice to do something out of the ordinary, you know?” I am not telling Lara the rest of the story. She just wouldn’t understand.
“You’re just bored.” She sighs. “And I want you to break free, I really do.”
I smirk.
“To be honest, it’s time you broke out of Edward’s reign,” she continues.
Lara hates the way that Edward tries to control me, to the point they have had many an argument. I think they secretly like each other but would never admit it.
“Edward is…” I shake my head as I try to articulate my thoughts. “He’s at the height of his controlling phase.”
“Ha, what’s new?”
“William came home this week and Edward called Penelope a whore. They had a huge fight, and William took off back to Switzerland.”
“Penelope is a whore.” She screws up her face. “I wish she’d gone back to Denmark with that German she was fucking,” she adds. “If she just left William back then, he would be over her by now. Maybe he’d finally be with someone deserving.”
“I know, she makes me sick.” I sigh.
A comfortable silence falls over us, until Lara smiles at me, something clearly on her mind.
“What?”
“Why don’t you move to London?”
“Lars.” I sigh. “When are you going to give up on this?” She’s been trying to talk me into moving for about eighteen months now.
“Never.” She takes my hands across the table. “It’s not like you can’t afford it. Your trust fund is bigger than the English reserve bank. Look, just move there for six months, date gorgeous men, have fun, meet new people. Elizabeth is in London, and you can go out and meet new people.”
I stare at her.