I swallow the lump in my throat. I know have to say this even though he won’t want to hear it. “Can I speak out of turn for a moment, please, sir?”
“You have since you started. No point in asking my permission now.” He replies flatly.
“Willow needs you.”
He swallows the lump in his throat, our eyes locked.
“I’m worried she’s going to become depressed… if she isn’t already.”
“Willow is fine.”
“No. She’s not. You need to wake up and deal with the fact that you have a teenage girl with some serious problems.”
He sits up, suddenly defensive. “In four days you have worked out that my daughter has problems?”
“No.” I stand, because obviously this conversation was a mistake. “In four days I have been a witness to everything you don’t say. Not once have you talked to her unless it’s been to reprimand her. I feel sad for her.”
He watches me intently, and I have no idea what he’s thinking. Maybe I’ve crossed the line by saying this, but I really feel it needed to be said.
He doesn’t respond.
“Anyway, I’ll work until the end of the month.” I smile sadly. “Thank you for the opportunity. I’ll give the position my all until I leave. I know you’re away this week. The children will be cared for as if they were my own until I leave.”
He clenches his jaw and stands abruptly. “You said you would tell me if there was a problem with the children before you resigned.”
I frown and stare up at him. Did he just hear anything that came out of my mouth?
“It’s not the children. The children are perfect.” His frown gets deeper as I pause to take a breath. “I’ve told you, I don’t like the way you make me feel.”
For some stupid reason my eyes fill with tears. I’m tired and I’m emotional. Hell, it’s been a tough afternoon. I just feel so vulnerable being here in this situation. “I’m so sorry I ran over you today. I’m so sorry about last night. Please forgive me.” I push out through tears.
He drops his chin to his chest.
“Goodnight, Mr. Masters,” I whisper, and then I turn and walk to my room.
Half an hour later, I’m in bed, facing the wall. The television is on but I’m not watching it. I think back to before I arrived in London and how excited I was at the prospect of this position. It was so different from my other job. I honestly thought ‘how hard could it be’?
Not everyone was born to be a nanny.
I’m annoyed at myself for resigning out of shame, but I can’t feel like a cheap whore every time I look at my boss. I don’t know what the hell came over me last night, and every time I think of our conversation in the garage this morning I cringe. I hate that I’m attracted to him.
Knock, knock.
I frown. “Come in.”
Mr. Masters walks in, his eyes finding mine across the room. “Can I talk to you for a minute, please?” he asks quietly.
I nod.
He clenches his hands together in front of him as he stands at the end of the bed.
“Take a seat.”
He looks around, realizing he doesn’t have any other option but to sit down on the side of the bed.
“What is it?” I ask.
“About last night.”
I scrunch my eyes shut. “I don’t want to talk about last night. I’m so embarrassed about it.”
“Don’t be.”
My eyes open, and he watches me intently.
“I have to ask you a question. Why did you call me Julian last night?”
I frown and scratch the top of my head. I shrug. “I guess I was hoping we could be friends.”
“You want to be friends with me?”
I shake my head. “No.” I think for a second. “I want to be friends with the fun guy who drove me into town in his Porsche. I wanted to be friends with Julian.”
He fiddles with the blanket as he listens.
I smile sadly. “I had built up in my head that I was coming to work for a woman, that I could support her for twelve months, and that we could form a friendship.”
“You were disappointed when you found it was me?”
“No,” I exhale heavily. “I just think that maybe last night I was too familiar, expecting a friendship that wasn’t there.”
“I wasn’t offended. I was tempted,” he whispers.
I frown. “W-what do you mean?”
He swallows what seems like a lead ball in his throat. “I was tempted to be Julian… for just one night.”
The air between us changes.
What?
“I was never…” My voice trails off. “I’m not that kind of girl. You didn’t need to be tempted. I can assure you that nothing would have happened.”
He drops his head. “I can see that. I didn’t mean to make you feel cheap this morning. That was never my intention.”
We stay silent for a moment.
“I told you off this morning because I was embarrassed.”
“You?” I whisper. “Why on Earth would you be embarrassed?”
“Because I’m a lot older than you and I… I hold a position of power by being your boss.”
I roll my eyes. “I just want a friend to talk to sometimes. It’s lonely living in a strange country by myself. Emerson lives in another house and I only see her
once a week. I don’t want to jump your bones. I honestly don’t. I promise,” I whisper.
He smirks at my honesty. I feel like I said the right thing. He suddenly seems at ease.
“Why are you like this?” I ask.
“Like what?”
“Cranky all the time.”
He smiles softly. “I don’t know. It’s just who I am.”
“It must get lonely.”
His eyes search mine and I feel a power change between us, as if it’s a palpable thing. Suddenly, I see him for what he really is: a very misunderstood man sitting on the side of my bed.
He’s broken.
“I don’t want you to leave,” he says.
I frown. “But…”
“You are the first person Willow has ever defended to me.”
“What?’
“I saw you today, I was watching as the three of you drove around like maniacs with music playing.”
I get a vision of what we must have looked like from a distance. “God,” I mutter.
“You seemed so carefree.”
I stay silent.
“It’s the happiest I have seen them in a very long time.”
I tear up. Not for me but for him. What must it feel like to never see your own children happy?
“My children have had nine nannies in two years.” He bites his bottom lip. “Although your nannying technique is very…” he raises his eyebrows, “unorthodox.”
I smirk.
“I do have to admit you seem to be getting through to Willow like nobody else ever has.”
“She’s just misunderstood,” I tell him calmly. “She’s a good kid.”
He frowns as his eyes search mine, seeming shocked that those words just left my lips. “Don’t go,” he says. “We can try and work this out.”
“But I can’t be this straight laced nanny you want me to be. I’m not used to this job. It’s a world away from what I do back home.”
“What do you do back home?”
“I’m an engineer.” His face falls. “What?” He shakes his head in disbelief. “You are an engineer.”
I smile. “Why do you seem so shocked?”
“Because I thought you were…” His voice trails off.
“Just a dizzy nanny?” I ask.
He presses his lips together tightly.
“Far from it. I wanted a job that was completely different to what I was doing at home. I love kids, and I thought this would be the perfect job for me, but I
just don’t want to feel like I’m doing something wrong all the time. You know?”
He offers me a half smile. “You do seem to do a lot of nanny things wrong, even you have to admit.”
I giggle. “God, I know. I’m a train wreck.”
“I’ll tell you what. Going forward, when you call me Julian, I’ll know that you just want a friend and you are not being flirty with me. I’ll know to turn my Mr. Masters boss hat off.”
I smile. “But how will I know when you need a friend.”
“I can assure you, I won’t need a friend.”
“Everyone needs a friend sometimes.”
His lips curl into a sexy smile. “Not me.”
Our eyes are locked, and I feel like there is another part of this conversation I’m missing.
He shakes his head. “An engineer?”
I laugh. “Yes, an engineer. Why do you seem so shocked?”
“Because I am. Where do you work?”
“A company called Biotech. I design machines, although I want to get into mining when I go home.”
He studies my face. “Not many people shock me, Miss Brielle.”
“I seem to be good at giving you nanny shocks.”
He smirks. “That you do. Running me over in a golf cart is a highlight though.”
I laugh, and his eyes twinkle with a special something. “What would you call me? I mean, if we were friends?” I ask.
He bites his bottom lip. “Bree.”