Pedro noticed me immediately that evening. He knocked on my bedroom window, calling my name over and over again, as if he would break the glass if I didn’t answer his call immediately.
I got out of bed, walked lazily to the window and pulled back the curtains. “Are you crazy?!” I said.
Although it was fleeting, I could catch the look of relief on her face. “Let me in, hurry!” Without waiting for my approval, Pedro was already getting ready to pull up his pants a little.
I opened the window and Pedro immediately climbed through it until he managed to set his bare feet in my room. “Don’t you remember that there’s something called a door in this house?”
“I know!” he said.
“I hope you haven’t forgotten what it’s for.” I walked back to the bed, looking at him lazily.
“It’s not that,” she shrugged. “It means I know what’s going on with you.”
My body stiffened instantly. Kim and Pedro, the two people closest to me, instantly realized that something was happening to me. Something bad. “What do you mean?” I asked pretentiously, trying to prove there was even the slightest hint that Pedro wasn’t talking about the dream.
“You didn’t really enjoy my croissant. That means there are only two possibilities. Either my croissant is the problem, or you are. And I’m sure the first possibility is not true. So… did you dream of that bastard again?”
I couldn’t make up my mind. Pedro deduced something so far away from such a small clue. People wouldn’t be able to make the connection between croissants and nightmares. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that Pedro wasn’t making sense after coming up with such a brilliant idea.
My silence had answered all the speculations in Pedro’s head. “I thought you were fine for a while. Is there a problem?”
“I just had a nightmare. That’s all,” I replied. I forced a smile to appear, which for some reason I was sure looked strange in front of Pedro. “That dream has been with me for years. There’s no need to worry.”
“Because now that goddamn dream has reappeared after all this time. That’s what worries me.” Pedro pulled out my desk chair and sat facing me. I was still silent, waiting for him. From his face I was one hundred percent sure that he had something to say. “As far as I know, you haven’t had anything to do with men for the past year.”
“Except for you.” I interjected.
“Yes, except me.” Pedro sighed. “Any men bothering you?”
I shook my head. Marco wasn’t bothering me. He was bothered by me.
“Please just say it.”
Marco’s name was already on the tip of my tongue. And Pedro was also waiting impatiently. However, when I finally shook my head, Pedro let out a rough breath.
“Go away,” I said, and lay down on the bed with my back to him. “I’m just tired.”
“Leandra… Corbin ….”
I gripped the edge of the pillow tightly. “Please, Pedro… go away.”
There was no more sound for a few moments. My back felt as if it was burning, without even looking to know that there was a gaze directed at me. Maybe for a minute. Until finally there was the sound of a chair shifting, then footsteps walking away, ending with the sound of my bedroom door closing.
***
It’s been a week since I returned from Missouri and only twice have I not had nightmares. My dreams were almost always the same. They seemed to repeat over and over again, swirling around in my head and causing me more suffering every day. Pedro kept trying to cheer me up. He wanted to take me to various places, but I refused, saying that I wanted to finish my final project as soon as possible.
However, that wasn’t entirely a lie. I really wanted to use this semester break to work on my final project. To research many things. To keep myself busy so I wouldn’t think about Marco anymore.
That afternoon I went to the coffee shop, bringing my laptop, two books, and notes. I sat on an outside bench, so I could enjoy the sea view at the same time. However, after half an hour of sitting there, for some reason I felt like I was being watched. I looked left-front-right-back, looking for anything that might look strange. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find anything. Oh, maybe the word “unfortunately” isn’t quite right. It would have been more appropriate if I had said “fortunately”.
I finally decided to focus on my work again. Maybe it’s just a feeling I have, so I’d rather ignore it than let it bother me even more.
I don’t know how long I’ve been here, but it’s getting dark. Today’s sunset isn’t as beautiful as usual.
My second Americano was already gone half an hour ago. I do love coffee, but I usually limit myself to one cup a day. However, these past few days I’ve been going over that limit.
I told myself that I needed it to stay up late for my final project. My fear of nightmares was hidden behind that excuse.
Keeping myself busy with my assignments seemed to be effective enough to get Marco out of my mind for a while.
I packed up my things and left, walking away from the sea and toward home.
Yet again, I felt someone keeping an eye on me. I looked back, there was no one. I suddenly felt bad for choosing this road, a small alley flanked by two tall buildings. It’s a shortcut to home. Twice as close as the main road.
I continued walking, faster this time. It felt like someone was following me. And that feeling intensified when I saw his shadow cast by the lights far behind. I glanced back slightly and saw movement from another person.
This time I was one hundred percent sure I was being stalked. I walked quickly, this alley was still a long way to the end. Until I finally decide to run, and the sound of his shoes crunching is loud and fast. He’s chasing me!
I ran faster, but the figure seemed to be getting closer. I screamed and my body was suddenly slammed into the wall of the building. My mouth was gagged and my hands were restrained.
While closing my eyes, I thrashed violently. I tried my hardest to break free or scream. But the force was so strong that I was no match for him.
“Shhh… Leandra, it’s me.” That voice… that voice made my body tremble. I slowly stopped moving. “Open your eyes, it’s me.”
I opened my eyes that were blurred from almost crying. I blinked a few times in order to see clearly and prove the speculations in my brain. His dark hair, his height, and… hey, why did this distinctive scent only appear now?
The man slowly relaxed his body. His hands were no longer smothering me, no longer hugging my body. I pushed his chest hard. He took two steps back.
“Marco! Are you crazy?!” My anger overcame my shock.
“I guess so.” He stepped closer. I could no longer back away because my back had been touching the wall of the building.
“Why the fuck are you acting like that? And why are you here?”
“I seem to have lost my mind. You’ve made me mad.” He took another step, this time so close to me. His breath was so fresh on my face.
“I have gone away from you. I no longer exist in your face.”
“That’s why…,” his right hand trailed over my jaw and neck, “because you disappeared, you drove me crazy.”
I gritted my teeth, trying not to savor the touch of his hand that wasn’t as cold as that time at the party. “You were the one who told me to disappear and forget about you!”
“Because I thought I could just forget about you. I thought that if you didn’t appear before me, I would forget you.” His face came closer, his left elbow resting on the wall beside my head. “I went insane for days thinking about you.”
I almost got trapped in his charm, almost closed my eyes when his face got closer. ” You were with a woman,” I said softly as I looked away, staring at the end of the alley that I almost managed to reach if Marco didn’t catch me first.
“Bridgitte?” he said after a few seconds of silence. He laughed softly, very softly. His hand pulled my chin back to face him. “Are you jealous of her?”
“I didn’t say that!” I denied firmly, so firmly that his smile widened and turned into a grin.
“Well, there are a lot of similarities between me and her.”
“That’s none of my business,” I replied, doing my best to sound unconcerned.
“One of the things we have in common is that we both like women.”
I glared, my face feeling like it was about to light up. Then I hurriedly covered it with a flat face again. “No matter if she is gay or not, it’s none of my business.”
He smiled, pulling my chin to look up, welcoming his face that was only a pinky finger away. “You’re like an open book. I can read everything. I know you care.”
“You can’t act however you want after telling me to forget about you,” I muttered in protest, but instead I closed my eyes, feeling the tip of his lips brush mine.
“I can,” he said, then pressed his lips to mine, crushing them longingly.
I admitted to the universe that I was defeated. I was defenseless before him. All of my defenses from a year ago melted away just because of his kiss.
His hand crept up my jaw, and mine was already gripping his black coat tightly. Marco bit my lower lip, making me hiss and open my mouth. He thrust his tongue in, meeting my tongue and clashing with it.
Until suddenly there was a loud whistle from someone. We broke the kiss and turned to a young man passing by. He grinned infuriatingly and walked away. Marco and I looked at each other, then laughed.
“You want to come to my house?”
***
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