I smile softly, hopeful for the first time all week. “But we can.”
He frowns.
“What if we went back.”
“You’ve lost me.”
“Your hang up is based around sex, am I right? You only respond to one-night stands and paid sex, and then in the morning, you freak out because you think you owe me more.”
He exhales heavily as if disgusted and I know that I’m right.
“So, let’s take it off the table completely.”
“What?” He screws up his face.
“Let’s be together and not have sex.”
“An attraction like ours can’t be tamed, April. It’s not that simple.”
“We could try.”
“Why would you want to do that? Sex is the only fucking thing that does work between us.”
I stand and walk over to sit on his lap. I brush the dark hair back from his forehead, and I kiss him softly. “Because I know we are better than this.”
I look up into his big, beautiful brown eyes, so tortured and flawed, and I kiss him again, our lips linger over each other’s.
“I can’t be with you and not…” His voice trails off. “I wouldn’t be able to…”
“Baby, listen to me.” I take his face in my hands. “We have something and it’s far from perfect, but it’s worth trying for. From the moment we met, I knew it was special, and sure, we’ve both made monumental mistakes, and you’ve been a real fucking asshole at times.”
He twists his lips to stop a smile.
“But in the end, it’s how we navigate things from here that matters, isn’t it?”
He runs his hand tenderly down my back as he listens.
“And besides, Rome wasn’t built in a day.” I say hopefully.
“I’m sorry you have to deal with my bullshit.” He murmurs.
My heart constricts and I push his hair back from his face. “This isn’t your fault. Never, ever apologize to me for being honest. I know better than anyone that the mind can be a dark place and that we have no control over the things that shape us. To be honest, Sebastian, I don’t even know how I’m being so normal right now. It’s usually me who’s the fucked-up one.”
He smiles as his tongue slowly slides through my parted lips. I open my eyes to see that his are firmly shut.
The tenderness dancing between us like a song.
Maybe we do have a chance.
We kiss again and again, and arousal rolls in as we hold each other.
No sex!
Short term pain for long term gain. Ah, what am I doing? I pull back from him.
“No sex, remember?”
He raises an eyebrow. “Come on, you have to be joking. There is no way we won’t have sex. The attraction between us is way too strong.”
“I want to try. If not for you, for me.”
He frowns.
“You’re not the only damaged one here, Seb, and I know this is it for me. I need to sort my shit out now or give up on relationships all together. I’m thirty-one.”
He gives me his first genuine smile of the day, and my heart melts. “You have plenty of time.”
“Ha, you just say that because you’re old.”
He chuckles. “Perhaps.”
I know if I keep sitting on his lap and kissing like this, I’ll be bent over the couch in two minutes flat. I stand, and he swiftly pulls me back down onto his lap.
“Not yet,” he says. “I haven’t held you for four days, April. I need more time.” He holds me tightly with his head to my chest, and I smile as hope blooms.
Sweet Mr. Garcia is in a league of his own.
I don’t get him often. It makes me cherish it more when I do.
His lips drop to my nipple, and he gently tugs it with his teeth.
“Hey.” I pull back from him. “Remember: no sex.”
“It was a nibble. My cock was nowhere near the Motherload.”
I giggle. “The Motherload. Is that what we’re calling it now?”
“Maybe.” He smiles. “It has a ring to it.” He bites my nipple again.
“Stop.” I laugh.
I refill our glasses and pass him his. He holds it up in the air, and I clink mine to his.
“What are we toasting?” I ask.
“To the most ridiculous social experiment of all time,” he mutters dryly. “Motherload abstinence.”
I burst out laughing, and he laughs, too. We fall silent as we stare at each other, the air circling with something new.
Hope.
He looks around my apartment. “So, what do we do now?”
I haven’t hung out with anyone on a platonic level for a really long time. It’s always been sex driven. “I have no idea.” I shrug. “Watch porn?”
“Works for me.”
I giggle. “You’re a sex maniac, Mr Garcia.”
“And you’re excellent in bed, were perfectly suited.”
“No, you’re next level.”
“You can talk. I’ve never met a woman like you. You’re more sexually charged than I am.”
My mouth falls open as I fake horror, “I am not.”
He raises an eyebrow.
I pinch my fingers together. “Little bit.”
“I’ll last longer than you will.” He smirks.
I smile goofily over at him, I like this game. And, of course, he’ll last longer than me. He doesn’t have to look at his beautiful body like I do.
“Let’s place a bet on it,”
“What’s the prize?”
“Hmm.” I think for a moment…what’s something that he would never want me to do…okay. “If you cave before me, you have to let me fuck you with a strap on dildo.”
He snorts wine up his nose. “What the fuck?” He splutters as he launches into a full -blown coughing fit. He slaps his chest, mortified. “That’s not fucking happening.”
“Well, then, keep your cock away from the Motherload.”
He throws his head back and laughs, and I do, too. It feels so good to laugh together.
He falls serious. “What do I get if I win? Which I will, by the way.”
“What do you want?”
“Hmm, the possibilities are endless.” He narrows his eyes. “Let me get back to you on that.”
“Or not. We both know I’m going to win, anyway.”
His eyes darken, and the energy is there again between us.
It’s atomic.
I need to change the subject. “We have to go back to your house,” I say.
His face falls. “Why?”
“Because, as your legal representative, we both know you being here isn’t a wise move. Especially with Theodore missing. If something were to go wrong and it came out that you’d snuck away…”
He rolls his eyes.
“I’ll pack a bag and come to your house.”
He opens his mouth to say something and then swiftly shuts it again.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Say it.”
“I’m playing in a golf tournament tomorrow.”
“And?”
“I have to leave ridiculously early.”
“Sebastian, I’m more than capable of amusing myself for a few hours.”
His dark eyes drop down my body as if imagining something. “Doing what?”
“Not that.” I widen my eyes. “Get your mind out of the gutter.”
“Apparently, my body isn’t allowed in it, so…” He shrugs. “Come on, let’s go.”
I walk into my bedroom and take out my overnight bag from the closet. Sebastian walks into my room and looks around. He walks to my shelves and carefully studies my photo frames. “Who’s this?”
“That’s my sister Eliza, and that’s Nathan.”
He picks it up. “She looks like you.”