My face falls. “What? Why the fuck did you do that?”
“Now you can bring your new girl.” He smiles sweetly.
“You are such a fuckwit,” I whisper angrily. “I am not bringing her. Besides, she’s now my old girl. It’s well and truly over.”
Masters rolls his eyes as he sips his coffee. “Another one bites the dust.”
“What the fuck did you do, you idiot?” Spencer fumes. “You like her. You really like her.”
I glance over to Julian, who smiles and winks. He loves watching Spencer lecture me over women. It’s his favorite pastime. Not too long ago, it was him on the receiving end.
“I didn’t do anything. She just isn’t the girl for me.”
“Oh, fucking bollocks,” he says. “Fine.” He rearranges the napkin on his lap with renewed purpose. “I’ll invite a date for you. I have a million women lined up waiting.”
“I don’t want a fucking date, Spence. Stay out of my business.” I sip my coffee. “Stick to your pregnancy sex.”
Julian rests his face on his hand and smiles dreamily. “Is there anything better than pregnant sex, though?”
I wince as I get an image of a heavily pregnant women having sex. The thought is disturbing. “I can think of a million things, you fucking pervert.”
“So, what happened with June?”
“April, you idiot,” I correct him.
“I knew it was a month.” Spencer shrugs. “April. What happened with April?”
“Nothing. I fucked it. I’m moving on. End of discussion.”
Spencer’s eyes hold mine. “What did you do?”
“Will you get off his fucking case?” Julian snaps. “Leave the poor bastard alone.”
“Thank you.” I sigh.
“Well?” Spencer asks again.
“It was too hard.”
“Nothing worth it is easy,” Julian says.
“You’re supposed to be on my side, fucker.”
Julian holds his hands up in surrender. “I’m just saying.”
“Don’t.”
“Here you are.” The waitress smiles as she puts our breakfast on the table in front of us. “Three omelets.”
We thank her, and the boys forget all about me as they begin to eat and chat. I eat my breakfast in silence, my mind is miles away.
It’s with April. It’s always with April.
I feel like shit.
April
I watch the dial in the elevator as it goes up the numbers, my mind is filled with poison.
Did he think of me while he was inside of her?
Was I anywhere in his thought process? Or am I imagining something that isn’t there?
The worse thing is, deep down, I know he cares. I know we have something, and we shouldn’t, because we hardly know each other.
Every time I’m in the room with him, my heart is on standby, waiting for him to look my way, waiting to smell his cologne. To feel the power emanating from his body. To feel my own physical reaction to him. The goosebumps, the butterflies, the flush of my cheeks when he makes eye contact. Every little thing means so much.
And it sucks. I fucking hate this.
I’ve waited seven years to feel something for someone. Anything.
It’s ironic that I’ve fallen for someone who has as much baggage as I do.
Maybe even more.
Poor Duke, is this how I made him feel?
It makes me sick to my stomach, I inhale deeply to try and fight off the nausea.
The unwelcome vision of a woman on her knees in front of him come to mine, plays like a horror movie in my psyche.
Was it dark and moody, or were the lights on?
How many times did he come?
Oh.
I remember the way he puts his hand around my throat when he fucks me. The darkness in his eyes. His primal urge to dominate.
The fire and fear he lights up in me.
It’s wrong. I know it is.
So, why does it feel so right?
I close my eyes, knowing there are no winners here. This will never work. Sebastian Garcia is an entity all of his own.
And I am an island.
The elevator doors open and I drag myself up the corridor, I close my eyes as I brace myself to knock on the door. Come on, you can do this.
I knock twice.
“Come in,” Sebastian’s strong voice calls.
I open the door and walk in as I act unaffected. “You wanted to see me?”
“Yes.” He points to the chair with his pen. “Please, take a seat.”
I stare at him, wondering if I can lie across his desk in protest until he wipes the last week away from my memory. I sit down. “What is it?”
His dark eyes hold mine, and for an extended time we stare at each other.
“You wanted to see me?” I prompt.
“Yes.” He regains his composure and holds his pen in his hands. “How are we going with the security footage?”
“I’ve done the report, but it appears that he stole a security card from a cleaner’s trolley and simply walked out in the middle of the night.”
“And none of his credit cards have been used since?” He frowns.
“No.”
He rubs his pointer finger over his lips as he thinks. “I’m beginning to get worried.”
“Me, too.”
He leans back on his chair, deep in thought. “Let’s hope they find him today, hey?”
“Yes.” I nod.
There’s no denying that this situation is dire. Not because he’s the head of the country but because he is a human being with depressive addiction problems who is missing.
Sebastian and I remain silent, unsure what to say next.
“Is that all?” I ask.
“You know…” His eyes hold mine. “You are better off without me.”
I stare at him.
“I can’t be what you need, April.”
But, you are.
Emotion rushes through me like a freight train, and I turn my head to evade his gaze. Damn it, why does he make me so weak?
“If I could fix this, I would. I can’t,” he continues.
Liar.
“Okay.” I square my shoulders. I don’t want to be here listening to his lame excuses for one minute longer. I stand. “Is that it?”
A frown creases his brow.
“I won’t bother you again, Sebastian,” I say.
He looks disappointed, but what does he want me to do? Beg to be his prostitute so that I can clear his conscience? As easy as it would be to carry on having no-strings sex with him, I can’t do it.
I care too much.
I’m already hurt. I can’t imagine the state of my heart if I let this continue. Maybe this is God punishing me for treating Duke the way I did for all those years.
This is how he felt about me. The roles were reversed but the scenario the same.
One person was in love. One person wasn’t.
“Is that it?” Sebastian asks. “Is that all you’ve got to say?”
I stare at him, my heart aching. He wants me to take him back on his terms…. and I want to.
He slept with someone else.
“Goodbye, Seb.” I force a smile. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”