I hit decline and put my phone back into my bag. I’ve got to be cruel to be kind.
Regret swims in my stomach. Sorry, baby.
It’s 6:00 p. m. on Saturday night. I walk through the bar to meet Anna and Penelope. I wave when I see them sitting at a table at the back, and I eventually fall into a seat beside them.
“Hey.” I smile.
Anna fills my glass with wine. “Just in time for a toast.” She smiles proudly.
I giggle and hold up my glass to theirs.
“To sleazy married dating sites,” she says.
We all giggle. “Here, here!” I call. “Congratulations.”
We’re here to celebrate Anna’s new job. She just got the position of receptionist at Ashley Madison. Yes, you heard that right. Ashely Madison is a dating site for married people.
“So… tell us everything.”
“Well, I start on Monday week. I’ll be at the head office, on the front desk for a while. If I do well, I can progress to back of house.”
I love seeing her so excited.
“What happens at back of house, do you reckon?” Penelope asks.
“Orgies,” I offer.
‘No.” Anna widens her eyes. “We are a classy establishment.”
“That caters for married people,” Penelope teases.
“It’s not how it sounds,” Anna says. “Once they explained it to me, I kind of got it.”
I raise an eyebrow.
“Ashley Madison is for people who are deeply in love with their spouse.”
“Oh, please,” I scoff.
“It’s completely true. They have no desire to leave their marital home, and they are happy in every way with their partner. It’s just that their wife or husband doesn’t have the same libido levels.”
“Ugh.” I roll my eyes and take a sip of my wine. “Give me a break.”
“You know what?” Penelope says. “I get that. Imagine if you were married to the most amazing man, wonderful dad, and great partner. But then due to bad health or some other issue, he loses his ability to have sex. What would you do?” She looks between us both.
Anna shrugs.
“Would you leave him for a loser that can offer you sex?”
“No,” I answer.
“So, you would just live the rest of your life without sex?”
I twist my lips. “Hmm.”
“This guarantees your partners dignity,” Penelope says. “You can have a hook up, discreetly and privately. Nobody is going to find out, and the person you are sleeping with is also happily in love with their partner. You help each other out, purely physically. It’s a win, win situation.”
“Cheating is cheating.” I huff. “I could never condone it. I’ve been on the other side of it.”
“This is different. Your dickhead husband didn’t care about you or he wouldn’t have done it with some random chick.”
“In my bed.” I sneer. “Fucking asshole.”
“Cockhead,” Anna chimes in.
“Right?”
“All I’m saying is,” Penelope continues, “Libidos in perfectly happy marriages can be very different, too. Sometimes things like this are necessary. If a man is walking around every day and night, horny as hell, and his wife won’t put out, what is he supposed to do?”
“Wank,” I mutter against my wineglass.
Anna giggles.
“And you can only fuck your vibrator so much.” Penelope shrugs. “Nothing beats the touch of a hard man or feeling desired.”
“Don’t I know it.” Anna sighs.
“Anyway.” Penelope shrugs. “I get it. I get women who go there. I get men who go there, too.”
“I’d be happy just to be fucked by someone other than myself.” Anna exhales heavily.
God, I want to tell them about the amazing sex I had this week, but of course, I can’t. I’ve decided that I have to keep Sebastian to myself. Nobody can know about us. After this last week away with him, and seeing how good he is at his job, I know I’m not spending time with just anybody.
I’m sleeping with the Deputy Prime Minister of the country, and he deserves my discretion.
There’s also the small fact that I will be fired from my job if anyone finds out.
“Oh!” Penelope gasps. “What happened with Garcia?”
“Shh.” I look around. “Nothing.”
“Nothing?” Anna frowns. “I thought there was all this sexual tension.”
“No, he’s having a thing with one of his secretaries, I found out,” I lie. “They’re dating, apparently.”
“God.” Penelope sits back in disgust. “What a letdown. I was looking forward to that hot gossip, loser.”
I giggle against my wineglass.
“Don’t worry,” Anna says. “He’ll probably turn up at Ashley Madison soon.”
I raise my glass in the air. “I don’t doubt it.”
Two hours later, and we’re sitting at the bar. We’ve eaten dinner, had a few drinks, and now two men have come to join us. Penelope and Anna seem to be having the time of their lives, chatting and laughing with them, but I’m just not into it. I’m thinking of back-dooring it soon and going home.
I might call an Uber. I take my phone out of my bag and see a missed call.
Sebastian
Excitement fills me, and I hit call, putting my hand over my ear to block out the noise.
“Hi,” he answers.
I bite my lip to hide my reaction to the sound of his voice. “Hi.”
“Where are you? It sounds loud.”
“In a bar.” Silence. “What are you doing?”
“I was calling to see what you were doing, but never mind. You’re out.”
“I’m just about to leave, actually.” My stomach flutters with excitement, and I get up and walk toward the door of the bar and out onto the pavement. “Why don’t you come over?”
He inhales. “I can’t… we can’t-”
“Be seen together,” I cut him off, disappointment filling me.
“Why don’t you come here, to my place?” he asks. “I’ll have to send my car for you.”
“Isn’t that risky? If your driver knows…”
“Kevin has been with me for years. You’re safe with him. You will have to stay in the car until you are in the garage and the doors are down, though.”
“Okay.” I smile softly, excited by the prospect.
I get to see him.
“Where are you?” he asks.
“Owen’s in Kensington.”
“Okay, I’ll text you when he’s out front.”
“Okay.”
I run my toe over a join in the concrete as a goofy smile crosses my face.
“See you soon.” He hangs up.
I get to see him.
I walk back to the bar and sit back down next to the girls. “Was that Duke?” Anna asks.
“Um…” Shit, although he is the perfect alibi. “Yeah, I might catch up with him.”
Anna puts her hand over mine. “Good idea. Screw that asshole Garcia. You’re too good for him, anyway.”
I fake a smile as I pick up my drink to take a sip. Guilt fills me. Now I’m lying to my friends.
This whole situation is one big fuck-up.
Half an hour later, my phone beeps with a text,
He’s out the front. Black Audi.
Your name is Tara.
I have an alias now. How gangster.
“I’m going to head off,” I announce to the girls, draining my drink.
They and their new friends are deep in conversation.
“See you!” they all call, distracted. They only give me a wave before they go back to talking.
I walk out onto the busy street and see the black Audi parked on the other side of the road. The windows are blacked out. I wait for the traffic to ease before I cross the road, open up the back door, and I lean in.
“Hello, Kevin?”
“Tara?”
“Yes.”
“Hop in.” He nods and faces forward again.