I flick the kettle on and strip off to take a hot shower. I will go back downstairs in a bit, if only to eat.
Once out of the shower, I wrap myself up in the hotel’s white robe and I make myself a cup of tea. Three nights spent in this place is going to be a dream. I turn the television on and flick through the channels when I hear a knock coming from somewhere.
I walk over and put my ear to the back of the door.
I hear a knock again, but it’s not coming from here. It must be someone knocking on someone else’s door down the corridor.
Hmm, I walk back and sit down only to hear the knock again.
Wait, it’s coming from the connecting door in my room that I didn’t notice before.
I walk over to it, and there’s a knock again.
“Hello?” I call through it.
“Hello.” I hear a deep voice. “Open the door,”
Huh?
I turn the lock and open the door to see Sebastian standing there.
I frown. “What are you doing?”
“Knocking on your door. What does it look like? Yes, I know,” he mutters dryly as he walks past me and into my room. “Connecting rooms. What a coincidence.”
He’s wearing a black dinner suit, ready for his night out. He’s freshly showered, God, he smells good.
My eyes widen. “You organized connecting rooms?” I whisper, looking around.
“You don’t have to whisper; nobody can hear us. We’re the only ones from our party on this floor.”
“Oh my God, Sebastian.”
“How else am I going to get to talk to you?”
I stare at him, lost for words. “Are you for real?” I whisper again.
“Stop whispering.”
I put my hands over my face. “This looks so bad.”
“Nobody fucking cares.” He sits on my bed. “Sit down.” He gestures to my chair.
“What?”
“Sit down. I have to go out, and I want to talk to you for five minutes before I go.”
“Sebastian.”
“Sit the fuck down and listen to me, April. I’m not leaving until you do.”
I glare at him as I drop into the seat.
He sits on the edge of my bed, leans over, and he drops his elbows to his knees. “I want to talk to you about the night you came to my house with Brandon.”
I clench my jaw as anger fills me. Just the mention of that night drives me mad.
His big brown eyes hold mine, and he exhales. “You have to understand that a parent needs to put their child before themselves. Brandon…” He pauses, and his gaze drops to the carpet. “He’d been talking about this girl he was in love with for weeks. When he turned up and I saw that it was you…” His eyes rise to meet mine, and he swallows. “It threw me, April. I was so angry at you for betraying him… with me. I lashed out.”
I open my mouth to say something, but he holds his hand up to stop me. “Let me finish, please.”
I stay silent.
“I said horrible things to make you leave. My only intent at that time was to protect him from you. I knew I couldn’t deal with you and him, or the possibility that the two of you had been together.”
My heart constricts.
“I should never have told him where we met-”
“We didn’t meet there,” I interrupt.
He rolls his lips. “I wanted him to immediately stop wanting you.” His eyes hold mine. “And somewhere in my deranged mind, I knew that If I told him we had slept together, it would kill two birds with the one stone. It would make you leave. It would make you not…” His voice trails off.
“Not what?”
He drops his head as if ashamed. “It would end what you had with him.”
What?
He raises his chin. ” I apologize for that night. I didn’t mean to uncover your secrets in the most hurtful way. It was selfish.
I stay silent, unsure of what to say.
“I couldn’t stand the thought of you sleeping with him,” he whispers as his eyes hold mine.
“I didn’t.”
“I know that now but back then…” He runs his hand through his hair. “There would be only one thing worse than not having you myself, and that would be watching you with my son.”
We stare at each other as a river of regret runs between us.
I drag my eyes away. This is too intense.
“Who is his mother?” I ask.
“My sister.”
I frown in confusion.
“Brandon is my nephew. His father left when he was eighteen months old, and I stepped in. He had attachment issues, and I…” He frowns, as if pained. “He’s so soft-hearted, I couldn’t bare that you hurt him. I thought that you were his first love, and that you were fucking me behind his back.”
“So, you broke my heart… to save his,” I whisper.
“I did my job.” His face falls. “I protected my child,” he whispers. “And your heart wasn’t the only one I broke that day.”
He stands and walks to the door.
“B-Brandon never loved me,” I stammer. “His heart wasn’t broken.”
He turns back to me. “I wasn’t talking about Brandon.” He turns and walks through the connecting door.
It closes with a sharp click
I drop to sit on the bed, shocked to my core. What does that mean?
Fuck.
Bang sounds the door as it closes.
Sebastian is home. I scramble to pick up my phone to see the time.
1:00 a. m.
My mind is a clusterfuck of confusion. I’ve been overanalyzing everything all night.
The way Sebastian spoke earlier sounded like he had feelings for me back then, too.
Maybe I misunderstood.
Maybe he meant to say that Brandon was all that mattered to him.
I guess it doesn’t matter now, anyway, but the admission that he had done the wrong thing means a lot to me.
I hear the water turn on next door, and I know he’s taking a shower.
Is he going to knock on for me?
I lie in the darkness, on high alert, and I wait.
The thing about thinking that you know what’s going to happen is that you don’t.
Sebastian didn’t knock on my door last night.
He hasn’t looked my way once today, either.
In between all his engagements, he’s been deep in discussion with Kellan all day through, and I hate to admit it, but it bothers me.
It shouldn’t, but it does.
We have had another full day, and now we are back at the hotel. We’ve had dinner, and are now in the bar having a few drinks. Sebastian is sitting with three men and Kellan, while I am at the bar with Jeremy.
It’s like Sebastian doesn’t know me when we are in public, but then I guess, he doesn’t really. So, he’s not acting, he’s really just telling the truth.
This is all just one big, convoluted mess, and I need to go to bed before I drink too much.
“I’m going to head up to my room,” I tell Jeremy.
“Okay.” He smiles.
“See you tomorrow.”
I walk out of the bar before looking across the room. I don’t want him to know I’m leaving. Not that he would notice, anyway.
I take the elevator. I’m having a hot shower and I’m going straight to sleep.
I’m exhausted.
I wake with a start. The room is semi dark, but something feels off.
I try to focus my eyes, but I know that Sebastian is in here.
I can feel him… and then I see him.
He’s sitting in the corner chair in the dark. He’s holding a glass full of an amber fluid, still wearing his navy suit.
“Sebastian,” I whisper. “What are you doing?”