I stir the mushroom sauce with my mind in overdrive.
Jameson’s different . . . I’m talking Twilight Zone different. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or the beginning of the end for us. Just when I get used to his old weirdness, he ups the ante.
The masseuse has just left, and he’s in the shower again as he washes the oil off. I’m not going in there because we will end up having sex, and dinner is nearly ready . . . and I want to talk to him without my arousal high clouding my brain cells.
It happens a lot with him.
He walks back out in his towel, and his eyes find me across the room. He gives me a slow, sexy smile.
“Can you not walk around in a towel when we have visitors, please?” I snap.
He smirks.
“Those two ditzy shoppers are at home going to town on their vibrators at this very moment as they picture you in that white towel.” I roll my eyes. “Living their”-I hold my fingers up to accentuate my point-“best life.”
He chuckles as he takes me in his arms. “Jealous?”
“Yes, I am, actually. I don’t like other women looking at you. It makes me stabby,” I snap as I stir the sauce. “Cut it out with the sexy smiling around other women too.”
His lips come to my neck as he holds me from behind, and I can feel his erection up against my behind. “Let’s go to bed.”
“No, you’re eating first.” I point to the kitchen counter. “Sit.”
His eyes dance in delight, and he does as he’s told. I place his dinner in front of him. “Hmm, looks good.” He smiles.
I sit beside him and watch him for a moment as he eats. “Why did you ask Alan to move my stuff in here?”
He chews his steak. “Because I want you to move in.”
“Since when? We haven’t discussed this at all.”
“Yes, we have.” He swallows his food. “We talked about it this morning.”
“When?” I frown.
“When I told you that I wanted to do this, and you said me too.”
I stare at him, my mind a clusterfuck of confusion. “Jameson, doing this is in my mind holding hands in public and dating. Maybe meeting each other’s families.”
He frowns as he watches me.
“What’s with the sudden change? Last week you got angry with me for falling in love with you. I couldn’t even look at you after sex without you getting upset with me.”
He sips his wine, obviously annoyed. “You said you didn’t love me. Are you saying that now you do?”
“That’s not the point. You know what I mean.”
“I want us to make a go of it.” He shrugs. “So today I moved forward with my plans.”
“Plans?” I frown. “I’m not a business transaction, Jameson. You don’t move forward with your plans without talking to me first. They aren’t just your plans, you know.”
He clenches his jaw, unimpressed, as his eyes hold mine.
“There are two people in this relationship, Jay, and me loving you does not mean you get to take me over.”
“I know that,” he snaps. “So you do love me now? Make up your mind, woman.”
“Stop changing the subject. Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”
“Yes, Emily.” He sighs as if he’s getting lectured by the school principal.
“I just don’t know why you’ve had this sudden change of heart.” I shrug. “It’s peculiar.”
“My heart hasn’t changed at all. My situation has.”
“What does that mean?” I frown.
He exhales heavily. “I went and saw Claudia in London.”
Oh no, his ex. I’m not supposed to know that. I had better play dumb. “Who’s Claudia?”
“My ex.”
I frown as I try my hardest to hold my tongue. Act calm, act calm.
“I broke it off with her.”
My eyes widen in horror. “What the hell?” I snap. “You were still with her?”
“No, but we had promised each other that we wouldn’t date anyone else seriously.”
I begin to break into a cold sweat as I try to hold it together. “Why?”
“Because we planned on getting back together in a few years.”
I knew it; I knew it back then that something was off. Damn it, why didn’t I see the writing on the wall? I pick up my wineglass and drain it as I stare at him. Jeez, this is news. Bad news.
“I told her I have strong feelings for you.”
“You did?” I frown as a tiny piece of hope blooms in my chest.
He smiles and tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. “I did.”
“What else did you say?” I ask calmly. I want to blurt out a million questions about the two of them.
“That it was over between us.”
“Did you love her?”
“Yes.” He pauses for a moment as if contemplating that statement. “In my own way, I did. In hindsight, I realize that our relationship was never normal. Not like ours is anyway.”
I stare at him, lost for words. Grateful that he’s finally being honest and yet terrified that their union was so strong that it withstood an open relationship. There’s no way in hell I could ever do that. “You think our relationship is normal?” I ask.
He smiles and leans in and kisses me softly. “Don’t you?”
“No. To me our relationship is exciting and wonderful and exotic.” I stare at him. “Normal gets boring very quick, Jameson.”
“I told her that I want to build a future with you.”
Okay, that sounds a bit better. I smirk as I try to hold in a smile.
“I also told her that I’ve had feelings for you since the day we met and that you are the only woman I want to be with from here on in.”
A broad, goofy smile does break through this time. “Did you tell her I had motorized sneakers?” I whisper.
He chuckles, and his eyes twinkle with something special as he cups my face in his hand. “I did.”
“What does this mean, Jay?” My eyes search his. “For us.”
“It means that I’m all yours.” He shrugs. “If you want me.”
What? All mine?
I blink . . . in shock. “Have you been holding yourself back from me all this time?”
“I have, and I can’t do it any longer.”
“What does this mean . . . for us?”
“It means I want you to move in, and we go full steam ahead from here.”
“What’s the rush?” I frown. “Can’t we ease into it?”
He leans in and kisses me softly; his big blue eyes hold mine. “I don’t do things in halves, Emily.”
“Meaning?” I whisper.
“Meaning that my woman is my world.”
I stare at him as the air leaves my lungs.
“I work hard . . . but I love harder.”
My heartbeat sounds through my ears. Is this really happening?
“I’m in love with you, Emily Foster.” He leans in and kisses me slowly. His tongue swipes through my open lips with such emotion that I get a lump in my throat. “I can’t help it. I tried to stop it, and I couldn’t. I think I’ve loved you since our first night together in Boston. You stayed with me. I fought it, and still, I couldn’t forget you. I’ve been carrying your scarf around like a lovesick fool for more than a year.”
I stare at him.
“So please forgive me if I want to go full steam ahead. This is not a snap decision. It’s been coming for a long time, and now that I’m in a position to act on it, I don’t want to waste any more time. I want you with me. By my side.”
I stare at him while my brain catches up. What the . . . ?
Holy shit.
He picks up his knife and fork. “Now I’m going to eat his beautiful dinner that you’ve made for me, and then I’m going to take you to bed and make you forget everything that I said to you about not falling for me, and then, hopefully, you can show me that you have some kind of resemblance of feelings for me too.”
I smile as my heart swells.
“Okay?” he asks before he takes a mouthful of food.
“Okay.” I sip my wine with a shaky hand. I look down at my dinner and smirk.
Mushroom sauce . . . my new love potion.
Abracadabra.
Jameson Miles just blew my fucking mind.
I roll over and put my hand out, and I frown. Jameson isn’t in bed beside me. I glance over at the clock: 3:33 a. m. Where is he?
I get out of bed and walk down the hall in search of my man. The kitchen light is on.
Hmm, but no Jay.