His lips were on mine before I could dissect his statement. His tongue peered out when I gasped at the sensation. His hand moved down, stroking my spine before it rested on my lower back. He held me tight as his other hand cradled my hand, keeping me still as he kissed me fervently. If he hadn’t held me up, I would have collapsed in a heap on the floor.
I was on fire and I moaned from the intensity that spread from my head to the toes.
He groaned as he pulled away, leaving us both panting and needing.
“It is better if I leave,” he muttered, breaking the moment and leaving me breathless. He retreated to the door and paused right as he reached it. “Sleep well, Willow. I shall see you in the morning.”
With that, he left, closing the door behind him. I collapsed on the bed immediately. My fingers traced over my swollen lips and I closed my eyes to remember how intoxicating his kisses were. Who needed alcohol when the high from his touch was so much better and left me feeling better than before?
If his kisses felt this good, how potent would the rest of him be?
I grabbed the pillow and smothered my squeals as I rolled over.
It was hardly possible. I was having a hard time believing it was happening in reality. The way my body ignited in his presence was enough for me to accept his proposal without any monetary additions. In fact, I knew I could dissuade him from giving me exorbitant amounts of money. That part of his proposal was outrageous.
After I had settled down, I opened my luggage and pulled out a pair of night clothes. I wandered into the bathroom, admiring the gleaming marble and exquisite fixtures before going through my unimpressive nighttime rituals.
I tried to think about the cons of the situation. Yes, it was crazy and impulsive. But I had never experienced anything close to the giddiness and arousal I felt in Nicholas’ presence.
Was it truly wrong to want it? My life before that day was either sad or irrelevant. My life in Atkins had loss, shame, and the stigma of being a burden wherever I went. Why was it wrong to try something where I didn’ t t feel that way?
I snugged into the bed and thought about Lory. I hadn’t called yet upon landing and I debated if I could do it right then. I wanted to ask her for her opinion, but she would think I was insane for condoning such a proposal .
I didn’t want her to try to talk me out of it.
I settled on calling her the next day, allowing me more time to decide what I wanted without the input of others.
When I closed my eyes and thought about what happened over the last few hours, suddenly I knew what I would give up if I agreed to Nicholas’ offer.
A chance at love.
Obviously, Nicholas and I shared strong chemistry. The air around us sizzled when we were close. But that was not true affection.
Was I willing to sign a contract, to be married to Nicholas even though I knew he didn’t love me? Moreover, I didn’t love him either.
On the other hand, our feelings could transform into love later on. But was I willing to risk the chance that we might never love each other?
Nicholas insisted that I had a choice. That I could leave when I was no longer happy. But if we already had kids by then? What kind of damage would our kids suffer if Nicholas and I split because of a loveless marriage? Was this the right way to marry and bring life into the world?
‘Children.’ I choked up at the thought. Was I really ready to have children? It was clear to me that Nicholas wanted children from the very beginning of the arrangement. Of course, he would want that; One carrying the children around for nine months and suffering through morning sickness and too many other complications.
The idea of having children excited me. In fact, the thought of a large family surrounding me was something I had only dreamed of. I had never thought there would be a possibility for it to come true.
How would that affect my college degree? When Nicholas told me he wanted me to devote myself to him alone, would it hinder my going to QCU?
My mind was fuzzy with all the questions that swirled in my head.
I had no idea when I finally fell asleep, but when I awoke, the clock on the bedside table read that it was already noon. I rubbed out the lingering sleep from my eyes and slipped out of bed. The room was warmed by the sun shining through the window. I picked out some clothes that Lory had packed separately and hopped into the shower. When I was inside, my stomach protested. I was hungry and my dinner had mostly been wine last night. As I walked down the stairs, I tried to remember my way to the dining area.
I reached the ground floor and smiled when I saw Laura coming around the corner. At least I could ask for directions to the kitchen!
“Willow!” She was at my side immediately. “Good morning… or should I say good afternoon? I was thinking about waking you up so that you had some food in you. You hardly ate dinner last night.”
“Hello.” I followed her into the kitchen. A small table was already set up and a bouquet of flowers was placed on it. “Is this for me?”
“Breakfast and lunch are informal at home. Is this alright for you?” She seemed nervous that I wouldn’t like the setting.
I nodded quickly. “I hope you didn’t go into any trouble. I could have made myself a sandwich.”
She shook her head and chuckled. “Sit down. Let me take care of you.”