(Renata Pellegrini)
> One month later:
“Does it still hurt?” Filippo asks on the other side of the screen. Every night I make a video call.
“Only when I make sudden movements, or carry weight.”
“You are recovering fast, that is good.”
“Yes,” I agree and lie comfortably on my bed, feeling my eyes getting heavy, yawn and snuggle into the sheets. “When are you really coming back?”
“The day after tomorrow, on Monday,” he answers, reminding me.
“I miss you, I’ll count the minutes.”
“I miss you too,” he says, making me smile. I love it when he gets all affectionate with me. “Your mouth, sweet and wild,” he completes the sentence.
“Naughty boy!” I speak, still feeling a little embarrassed.
Filippo traveled the weekend after I was shot, and has been in Mexico for three weeks. He, besides going to meet new clients, also went to Penelope’s wedding party. That made me wary, but, I let it go, I can’t be suspicious of the man I risked my life for. “And also, her husband is there, she wouldn’t be that low” – it was this thought that made me bite back my jealousy.
“I want to make you an invitation,” he changes the subject.
“What is it?”
“I want you to come and live with me. If you accept, I will go straight from the airport to your apartment and we will go together to mine.”
“I… Don’t you think it’s too soon? Even though we have been dating for more than a month, three weeks was a long distance…”
“I’m already over thirty, I don’t have time to be flirting, ragazza,” he answers, cutting me off.
I bite my lips feeling my ears getting hot with embarrassment. I didn’t imagine that he would ask me to move in with him. Just the two of us.
“Let me keep my good arm, then we can do it”- I remember what I said to him, how embarrassing!
“Ragazza? Why are you red?”
“Han? It’s… nothing, I’m not red, it’s just you,” I hurry to speak trying to disguise my thoughts.
“Are you coming to live, yes or no?”
“Straight as usual, right?”
“Tic toc, ragazza. I want my answer.”
****
The day is dawning, and I hardly slept at night. After I turned it off, I kept imagining so many scenes in my mind that I had to slap my face a few times to see if I could stop thinking about so much nonsense.
I look at the clock and it strikes six in the morning. Amanda is coming home today. I didn’t tell her that I was dating Filippo, I can’t hide it from her anymore. Today I will tell her the truth.
As soon as I get my feet out of bed, the doorbell rings. She is early today. Every Sunday Amanda comes over, we make food together, watch movies, paint our nails, take care of our hair, she said she always wanted a friend to do this, and I confessed that I did too.
“Did I wake you up?” She asks when I open the door.
“No, I was just curled up in bed, come in, you’re home, woman.”
“And how is your arm? Caio was asking about you, he was worried when he heard you had been shot.”
“Ah,” is the only thing I answer, after the scene in the locker room, I haven’t kept in touch with Caio anymore. I don’t want to hurt him, especially now that everyone will probably know that Filippo and I are together.
“Are you going on a trip?” She asks, looking at my suitcase.
“I need to tell you something, sit down,” I say sitting down too.
“What?” She asks with frowning eyebrows.
“Last night, I made a decision.”
“Oh no, are you going back to Brazil? Why? Don’t do that, Rê, your place is here beside me!”
“I’m not going back to Brazil,” I say, and her face becomes reassured. “But I won’t live in this apartment anymore.”
“Where are you going?”
“I am going to live with my boyfriend,” I answer, biting my lip.
“Like… get married?”
“Living together,” I correct her as calmly as possible.
“But you are moving in together… Why are you moving in together? Move in together for what? Renata, how can you move in with a man I don’t know?”
“You know him by sight…”
“Renata,” she says my name, trying to control anger. “Whoever he is, he skipped the first phase, where he knows his best friend, aka me, and went straight to the third phase where he doesn’t even want to see his friend! And if this is happening now, where you are just “boyfriend and girlfriend”,”she quotes her fingers. “Imagine when you are living together, practically married, he won’t let you see anyone!”
“He’s not that type,” I defend him.
“No? You have been dating for a little over a month, what is the need to move in together?”
“We love each other, we want to be together and… who knows, maybe build a family,” I say the last part feeling my cheeks warming up.
Yesterday I imagined several scenes, among them, I was pregnant. I am sure that he would be a good father.
“Are you already talking about children?” She asks with raised eyebrows. “Why didn’t you tell me you were already planning this?”
“We weren’t, we never really touched on the subject, but since we are moving in together, the subject came to my mind. I am still processing this, I have never lived with a man…”
“You talk as if you decided to move in together at once,” she rolls her eyes.
“But that’s exactly what happened, he caught me with my pants down yesterday when he made me this proposal over the phone,” I will try to explain myself.
“It doesn’t matter,” she opens the bags and picks up a pudding, starting to eat it – Are you just going to watch?
She smiles weakly, even though she is hurt she is still my best friend. I sit beside her and start to eat a chocolate pie.
“Eat properly, you will end up melting your clothes,” she scolds me. “Who is the guy?”
“If I tell you, you won’t believe me.”
“Amanda is crazy about pudding, I think it’s cute the way she eats it, she always melts her clothes and scolds me.”
“Filippo Valentini.”
“Na-nani?” And here we go, Amanda loves anime and sometimes skips these disconnected words.
“I didn’t understand what you said.”
“Sorry, nani means: what?”
“Oh yeah, I get it.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she says, staring at me, “how come you’ve been dating our boss for over a month, and you only tell me when you’re going to move in with him?”
“Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to lie. But I didn’t believe in this relationship, I thought he would kick my ass and it was so fast and intense…”
“You had several chances to tell me, I’ve been here every Sunday since we became friends. And yet, you chose to hide it from me, when I have always told you everything about my life.”
“It wasn’t intentional, I was just trying to protect myself…”
“From me? Protect yourself from me, Renata?”
“I… I couldn’t believe he was interested in someone like me… I just wanted to make sure it was something solid so I could break the news,” I try to justify myself again.
“I’m going home,” she gets up.
“Wait, I’m sorry, I…”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses,” she cuts me off, “I’m tired of you trying to justify yourself with these excuses. If you don’t trust me, just say so,” she opens the door and looks at me, her gaze filled with hurt and sadness, my heart squeezes. I never imagined that she would have this reaction. “I hope you manage to build your beautiful family.”
Without waiting for an answer from me, she leaves the apartment, tears start to slide from my eyes. She is my only friend, I hope she can forgive me. I didn’t mean to hurt her like this.