(Renata Pellegrini)
My chest goes up and down frantically along with my breathing, I try at all costs not to look at him, but with every second that passes, it becomes more and more difficult as he takes advantage of the situation and I hate myself for my body responding so positively to your touches.
The tip of his nose runs along my neck making me shiver, I bite my lips hard trying to repress the good sensations that this contact gives me. Crap! I cover my mouth with my hands, so as not to make some strange sound that wants to come out, while I feel his hot mouth distributing wet kisses over my collarbone and my bare shoulder.
How do I control the butterflies deep in my belly?
His big warm hands hold my face tightly, his gaze has such intensity that I feel lost, he leans over me and kisses me again, I close my eyes. Once again I surrender to my boss’s delicious kiss. His tongue meets mine, his fingers intertwine with the hair on the back of my neck and hold tight, I lean against his chest and rub my legs, strange things are happening in my intimacy, I have never felt his pulse before.
Slowly he breaks the kiss, ending with a kiss. I don’t have the courage to open my eyes, strange things are happening to me and I’m afraid he might see. The warmth of his hands on my face fades, I restrain myself from protesting.
“We are alone now, ragazza,” he moves away and opens the cabin door.
I take a deep breath, but regret it, his perfume is permeating everywhere. I open my eyes and step out of the cubicle, go to the sink and place my hands on it, I look at myself in the mirror and I’m disheveled.
“Why did you come here?”, I ask feeling my heart in my mouth.
“I couldn’t resist the charms of a bellissima donna italiana,” ‘beautiful Italian woman’ he compliments me in Italian, I swallow my saliva, how can this man be so sexy? “I had to come find you,” he replies, taking the paper and wiping her lipstick stained mouth.
“He thinks I’m beautiful?”, I question in my thoughts amazed at his response. “Focus Renata, focus!”, I scold myself, I can’t let myself be carried away by the illusions of a cheap conqueror!
“No cercare di intortarmi!”, “don’t try to trick me,” I tell he through gritted teeth, a few years ago I got used to when I get angry, or any feeling that goes out of my comfort zone, I throw swear words and phrases in Italian.
He takes firm steps closer to me, I stand my ground, I don’t want to play his prey of the night anymore, I won’t let this man intimidate me.
“Sono atratto da te!”, ‘I’m attracted to you,’ he whispers in my ear and I shudder at the base. Shit!, “I know you want me too, your mouth doesn’t fool me”, he says with conviction, looking me in the eyes.
“Forget about what happened today”, I say in a thin voice, “M-Monday, you’re still my boss and I’m your employee, that’s all.”
“Will you be able to forget, ragazza?” I felt the goose bumps on her skin under my touch, the sighs you gave when my felt my kiss, I smelled her excitement as you rubbed one leg with the other. I can make you feel even better”, he says looking at me provocatively, “Come with me, I’ll make you see stars”, he whispers in my ear.
Lord help me! Get that man away from me!
“Renata?”, I hear Amanda’s voice.
I turn away from Felippo and look at her frightened, she squints and looks from me to Felippo and then to me, the confusion lasts only a few seconds, then she smiles mischievously.
“Pretend I wasn’t here”, she leaves the bathroom and closes the door.
“Amanda, wait!”, I speak loudly and try to go after her, but Filippo grabs my wrist, “Let go of me! I need to make things clear to her, I don’t want gossip about me going around the company.”
He opens his eyes wide as if reason has just now cleared his mind, I take advantage and pull hard on my wrist, I walk out of the bathroom, leaving him alone.
I have to think of an excuse for Amanda.
The club is emptier now, but loud music fills my ears, giving me a headache. I pass the people looking for Amanda, she’s gone. I keep walking looking for her, I can’t lose her, how will I get home? And worse, they already looked at me bad for arriving in a simple way to work, now besides being from a favela, for sure, they are going to call me a gold digging whore, a low income whore who was crazy to give her boss.
“Aí!”, I crash into the back of a big man, “I’m sorry, I…,” I look over and see Amanda with her lipstick all smeared.
I hit the guy she’s making out! Mercy, I feel my whole face heat up with embarrassment, I don’t wait for them to say anything, I turn around ready to leave, but I stop to see Filippo just a few steps away, our gazes cross, but only for a moment, a few brief seconds, then he looks away from me.
“Vincenzo!,” he speaks loudly, I look around, who is he talking to?
“Guastafesté!,” ‘reckless, or, killjoy’, the guy behind me mutters and walks past me towards my boss, “Fratello, hai finito? Così in fretta?”, “brother, are you done?”, the man says jokingly and Filippo slaps him on the arm, making him laugh.
And I just watch without understanding anything.
“Is he my boss’s brother?,” Amanda asks, smoothing the hair on my side.
“I don’t know, maybe,” I answer feeling a little lost, watching Filippo’s back turn away.
“Uh, while you were having sex with the boss, I caught his brother,” Amanda says, smiling.
“I’m not having sex with him!”, I speak fast, I knew she would think that.
“And what were you doing alone in the ladies room with him?”
“He… I… light…”
“You don’t need to tell me the details, I’m not that kinky, woman,” she wraps her arm around my shoulder.
“I didn’t do sex with him,” I insist, emphasizing the ‘didn’t’.
“It’s okay, baby, the chase is yours, you don’t owe satisfaction to anyone, you can give it to whomever you want.
“I DIDN’T HAVE SEX WITH HIM!”, Shit! I didn’t mean to yell, Amanda takes her arm off my shoulder, “Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell, but you didn’t hear me…..
“It’s ok, no problem baby,” she says smiling yellow, did I hurt her? Monday I apologize, so we’ll both have cooler heads.
“I want to go home,” I say with my head down.
“I didn’t even have two glasses, can drive, come on, I’ll give you a ride.”
I walk her out of the club, we get in her car and drive to my house.
“Please don’t tell anyone that you saw me in the bathroom with him,” I ask her without looking at her.
“I’m not going to tell you,” she said.
We drove the rest of the way without saying another word.
“Calm down, Re, tomorrow is a new day”, I tried to cheer me up.