LARA.
I didn’t know what it was, why, or what probably happened, but one thing I noticed recently was that Tony had changed a little. These days, he questions me about my whereabouts, who I’m seeing and what I have been doing recently, and it was getting unbearable for me. I had no idea why he was doing such, but I want to believe it was because he was only caring about his baby and didn’t want me to stress it too much.
“Hey,” Beth called as she tapped me and handed me a cup of juice. Holding the second one which belonged to her in her hand, she say next to me on my large-sized bed in my bedroom.
I had invited her over earlier when she said she was bored. Plus we had planned to discuss having a party where we’ll tell the girls that Beth is pregnant. She hasn’t decided if she wants to do it yet, but I’m still trying to persuade her to do it.
“What are you so lost in thought about?” She asked me as she sipped her drink through the straw in her cup. “Are you okay?” She asked, turning to face me.
“Yeah,” I said and let out a sigh.
“Are you sure?” She asked me with raised eyebrows. “You know you can tell me anything, yeah? And from the look on your face, I can tell something is wrong. So, tell me, what’s happening that I don’t know about?”
“It’s just Tony,” I said to her and rubbed my forehead with my right hand.
She coughed immediately after she heard me speak, so I dropped my drink on the table next to my bed and tried to attend to her. “Sorry, dear. Did you choke on your drink?”
She nodded as she coughed a little bit more before finally stopping. “I’m fine now, thanks.” She said.
“Alright.” I sat back on the bed and continued what I was saying. “As I was saying, it’s Tony.”
“What about Tony? Did he do something wrong? Isn’t he giving you the attention you seek anymore?” She asked me, a look of concern on her face.
“He’s been acting weird lately, I don’t understand him.”
“Weird, how?”
“He questions me a lot these days. Mostly about my whereabouts, who I call and all of that. It’s like he’s stalking me.” I sighed. “But I’ve told myself countless times that he’s only trying to protect me and the baby. Yet, I still can’t bring myself to accept that fact. It has become burdensome for me that I don’t even know what to do. I feel like asking him a lot of times too, but I just can’t.”
“I’m surprised to see my Lara this way. The Lara I know mostly doesn’t care about men’s change in behaviour to them. Does this possibly mean that you’re finally taking to my words and changing?” She asked me, a slight smile on her face. I knew she was trying to make a joke in her way, just to make me smile a bit, but I wasn’t buying any of it at the moment.
“I’m carrying his baby, okay? I have to do everything to make sure he stays. I don’t trust men that much,” I replied to her.
“Technically, it’s not his baby.”
I rolled my eyes at her before snapping at her. “You can as well take a mic and announce that yeah?”
“Ouuu, chill ma’am. I was kidding, okay? Why are you being so aggressive and pissed off, uh?” She asked.
I didn’t even understand what was happening to me. I get easily pissed these days and I can’t explain it. I just snap at people over unreasonable things and other behaviours I didn’t do before.
“The thing is that if Tony leaves now, it would be very hard to pin this baby on someone else. I mean, it’s already pretty obvious that I’m pregnant. So, to lie to some other man that he got me pregnant would never go well. No one is as dumb as that. Unless the person wants to play dumb.”
Beth shook her head as she continued staring at me. I could tell from that expression on her face that she was about to lecture me over something. This is the face she makes every time she wants to speak to me about something or try to convince me into changing my ways. “Lara, you know quite well that you’re being unfair to him, yeah?” She finally spoke.
I knew it. A lecture was coming up.
“Me? Unfair to him?” I scoffed. “What are you talking about?” I knew very well what she meant, but the best thing I could do was act like I had no idea. I wasn’t ready to listen to her lectures on how pinning the baby on him was a bad idea. If she isn’t going to do it about her baby, I’ll do it.
“You know what I mean, Lara. You know it very well. I’m sure you do. So stop acting clueless.”
“Well, I said I don’t. Maybe you could enlighten me?”
“First, you pinned a baby that isn’t his on him. That alone is enough reason for you to be guilty. Then you’re with him not because of love, but because of what you want to gain from him. Do you even love him at all? Like in any way? Maybe in a tiny manner or something?” She questioned, waiting for me to give her a reply.
I rolled my eyes at her before finally replying. “Yeah, I do. If I wasn’t, I won’t be with him till now and I won’t come back to him after I returned from following Damien back then.”
“We both know that was not why. You only went to him because you felt he’s the only responsible one of all the men you go out with. Aren’t you tired of doing this?”
“What is this about, uh? It’s my life and I can do whatever I wish to do with it. I’m the main character in this story of mine, and I choose to make any decisions of my choice. Why are you so bothered about it?” I snapped at her. She was beginning to get on my nerves and I couldn’t take it anymore. If she wasn’t going to assist me in whatever decision I make, then that’s fine. But she should stop trying to change my habits in the name of friendship.
“Why do you sound so offended?”
“Because you always think you’re a Saint! Let everyone do whatever they wish to, Beth. Nobody is perfect, not even you! If you were perfect, everything would have fallen in place for you. But here you are without a man or any make figure in your life. I wonder how you even got pregnant in the first place when all you do is act like a saint that you aren’t.” I said and got up from the bed, picking up my glass of juice on the table and heading towards the door. “Just die the matter. It’s my life, and it’s my rules.” I walked out, slamming the door shut behind him.