BETH.
“I just want to speak to you about something. It’s been on my mind and if I don’t say it soon, it might have to bother me for the rest of my life. And if it doesn’t end well either, I’d know I said it. And me saying it means I have no regrets whatsoever.” He said. It sounded like he had crammed those words, the way he kept saying them without a single mistake or stutter while staring at me.
Somehow, I knew what he was about to say, and my heart had begun to beat very fast. I hoped I was wrong and that he was going to say something else.
“Okay?” I asked, looking at him with a confused stare on her face.
He walked closer to me, almost closing the distance between us. Then, he looked down at my face, since he was a bit taller than me. “I like you, Beth.”
My chest felt heavy as soon as I heard it. I didn’t know what reply to give, or if I should fake that I didn’t hear what he said. But I just couldn’t. He knew I heard him quite well. Suddenly, something came to my mind.
I chuckled after some seconds of being shocked. “I like you too, Luca. I mean, you’ve been one of the best persons I’ve known right from time, and you haven’t changed from being that good person even after we stayed away from each other for so long. I’m-”
“No, Beth.” He said and chuckled. I assumed he already knew what I was trying to do. I was about to friendzone him, and I hoped he would get that and not try to push any further. “I don’t like you that way, not as a friend. I see you as a woman. I love you, Beth.”
Okay, that was it. My heart couldn’t take it anymore. It continued to beat against my order. I didn’t know what to say, as my mouth went wide open in shock without any word to say. He just stood there staring at me, not saying anything either. When I eventually regained my voice, I said. “Uhm, I think I have a running tummy. I need to use the toilet.” I said and immediately placed my right hand on my stomach, feigning what I didn’t have.
As I turned to leave and go inside, he held my right and pulled me back. I was even more shocked at this. So, I stood there, not knowing my hand had unconsciously left my tummy where I placed it earlier. “Uhm, Luca. I… err…”
“I didn’t tell you that to make you uncomfortable.” He said and giggled lightly. “Just say you don’t like me in that manner, and it’s fine. If I have to move on, I have to face rejection first. But when you don’t reject me, I’ll keep trying. So, if you think I can still win your heart, let me keep trying. If not, you have the advantage to reject me now.” He said calmly. Then, he remembered something and added with a small smile on his face. “Oh, and by the way, you are a very bad liar and actress.”
I cleared my throat, knowing he had caught me red-handed already. I stood straight and looked everywhere in the sitting room except for his face. Then, I began to speak. “Luca, like I said, I like you a lot. You’ve been a very nice person to me and you’re one of the most important persons in my life.”
“But?” He asked. “And also, look at me. I’m not going to eat you up or bite you. It’s just words you want to say. Why are you being shy?”
I sighed and finally turned to look him in the eyes. “But…” my voice trailed off as I saw the sadness in his eyes. It seemed he already knew what I was going to say, but he wanted to hear the words anyway. “But, I love someone else, Luca, and you know it too. You also know quite well that I’m carrying his baby. I’ve tried, trust me, I tried everything possible to get over him, but I just couldn’t. You’re not a stranger to that too, because you’ve also done your part in helping me get over him. But I’m sorry, it’s just not working. I love him so much, and I still do, Luca. I’m so sorry.” I said in all sincerity. I don’t understand what it was that made me feel that way, but I felt genuinely sorry for him.
“Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault in any way. Besides, we can’t love someone into loving us, so it’s cool. Still friends, yeah?” He said and shook his right hand forward.
I did the same and we shook hands. “Friends,” I replied with a small smile. I felt a little uncomfortable, and I was sure I would continue to feel that way now when I’m around him. I wouldn’t want to talk too much about Tony like I do before, so I won’t hurt him. Sadly, he’s the only one I have to tell things like that. Now, I don’t have him for that anymore.
“And by the way, you don’t have to feel weird around me. If you need any help or want to talk about him, still let me know.” He said, and from the expression on his face, I could read the fact that he wasn’t lying.
“Thank you, Luca. I hope to repay you someday.” I said.
“Duh, friends don’t say thank you.” He said and turned to jump on one of the sofas again. I walked into the sitting room and sat on the sofa like a normal human being, unlike him.
“Are you staying over?” I found myself asking him.
Without looking at me, he replied. “You don’t expect me to go home at this time. Of course, I’m staying. That’s if it’s fine by you by the way. If you aren’t comfortable with having a guy around, just let me know. I can always lodge at the hotel next to your place.”
I truly wasn’t comfortable with having to stay in the same house with a guy, but I had no doubts about Luca. I trust that he couldn’t do anything dumb to me, so there was no point telling him to lodge at a hotel.
“You can stay. I’m very fine with it.” I said.
“Thanks,” he muttered. Then, he picked up the remote control on the table and began to navigate through the channels on the television. He got to the sports channel and was about to leave it there, but I shouted.
“Hey! Don’t you dare leave it on that channel!”
“Watch me do so.” He replied, a large grin on his face.