LARA.
My makeup covered the lies, the diamond ring on my left hand blind all, except me. Only I know the truth. I take myself in, from the perfectly puffy afro hair that was packed to the back to the French-manicured toes peeking out from my sling-back shoes. I stare at myself in the full-length mirror, not recognizing the superficial woman staring back.
A frown turned down the corner of her mouth. Condemnation clouded her unusual green eyes. Sorrow plays in the thin lines on her face and in the slight slump of her bare shoulders. She’s judging me. She should. I’m a horrible, awful person. In less than ten minutes, I will let my father walk me down an aisle lined with fresh flowers and silk bows tacked onto the corners of every chair. I will reach the end, let my daddy kiss my cheek with tears blurring his vision, and give me away to another man.
I will take my fiancé’s hand in mine, gaze into his puppy dog eyes overflowing with joy, and betroth myself for life to someone who is noble and loyal and kind. I will promise to love, honor, and cherish him all the days of my life. I will exchange in-sickness-and-inhealth-forever vows in front of God, our family, and friends to a man who I find nothing to love in except his money and sex.
I will marry a man I don’t love just because I’m trying to cover my own reckless mistakes. I mean who does that? A destructive, selfish bitch. That’s who. I let my gaze fall down the length of my body, trailing over the hand-beaded lace wedding dress that hugs my rounded curves. The same dress my best friend, Beth had sobbed over the second I walked out of the dressing room, telling me “that’s the one.” I didn’t pick blush or ivory or cream or even something unconventional like gray. Oh no. I went with stark white. The symbol of purity. A satirical laugh escapes my scarletpainted lips. I’m anything but innocent. My soul is lost. My heart cold. I’m a devil in angel’s skin, trapping a man for life who could have any woman he wants but for some reason wants me. And why?
Even though I should be running as far away as possible, I can’t seem to do anything but take this path I have created for myself.
‘There’s still time, Lara. Do the right thing. I should call it off. Tell Tony that this was all just a big mistake. Confess I’m not in love with him the way a wife should be. Tell him the entire time I’ll be saying my vows, I’ll be lying and secretly thinking of one million ways to break a pregnancy news to him, a pregnancy that isn’t even his. Let him find true love because he’ll never be that for me.’
Fuck me. I might as well write my own ticket to hell. If I go through with this, that’s exactly where I’ll burn for eternity. I already feel the flames of deceit licking the soles of my feet.
‘Do the right thing for once in your godforsaken life, Lara. Just once.’
I find my eyes in the mirror once again. I already know I won’t listen to that small part of me that begs to be righteous. I can’t. The bigger part of me is contaminated with retribution and anger and the need to continue to choose myself above anything else. Why should I care about ruin in no another person’s life? Life is an unfair entity itself,, you always have to choose yourself above everything else, the only way I’d ever call this off is if Damien ever picks my calls and wants me- A knock on the door startles me and I jump.
It’s time. Fuck. It’s time. I take a calming breath in. Blow it out slowly. Turning away from my deceitful eyes, I make my way to the door and open it after only a brief hesitation, expecting to find my father or friends on the other side. But instead of graying hair and deep laugh lines framing a soft smile, I’m greeted with a tanned skin stare and thin, angry lips.
He’s here. My “if” has arrived. “Damien?” I breathe, hope rising in me like a tidal wave. I discreetly pinch my arm to make sure this isn’t a dream. Nope. I look both ways down the hall to find we’re alone.
“What are you doing here?”
“When were you going to tell me that you’re pregnant, huh? Did you think I would not know? Or Is the child really just not mine?” Damien let out in an accusatory manner.
“You didn’t pick up my calls, you discarded me.” I simply replied.
“Follow me this instant, there’s no way in hell that you’re getting married to another man while carrying my child in you! Hell no!”
“I…” I stuttered torn between following him and staying. “I can’t. I can’t just follow you, it’s my wedding.” I finally let out.
“Oh really, well, you know where to find me when you are ready to stop this facade of a thing. Good day.” And with that, he left.
I stared at his retreating figure until he disappeared out of sight and then I realised something as my heart sank. I can’t do this, I don’t really love Tony. And then I changed out of my wedding gown into a casual wear with facecap. I took a pen and paper out of the drawers and then I started to write.
BETH.
“Lara isn’t in the room we left her in.” Yeesha whispered to me while I was standing right in front of the DJ.
It was Lara’s wedding and she had insisted on a particular song to be played when she makes her entry into the garden. She wanted a garden wedding and she had it, the open space was simply beautiful, unique and elegant with various colours of natural flowers adorning the sidewalks and chairs.
“What do you mean by Lara isn’t in the room we left her in? I left her just now to speak to the DJ on her behalf. Have you checked the toilet or something? She’s expected to come out right now.” I said and Yeesha immediately left to check again.
I had literally just left the room we were both in, she asked me to go remind the DJ on which music to play for her bridal entry and that was what I was doing. She had been dressed in her elegant white dress and she looked so stunning in it.
I looked towards Tony who was now starting at the front of the Isle waiting for his bride. He looked breathtaking in his white tuxedo, his chocolate skin glistened in the daylight and his wide smile was enough proof that he wanted this so much. It was obvious that I didn’t really have a chance, I never did. It’s done now, he’s married-
“I still can’t find Lara anywhere, Beth!” Yeesha interrupted my thoughts as I quickly snapped my head towards her direction.
“Ugh! She’s not a pin that needs so much looking, she…”
“Look, I think Lara eloped.” Yeesha interrupted yet again.
It felt like my ears heard wrong, “Lara what?”
“Eloped. She left! She left Tony at the alter. I found this letter and then I found her wedding dress in the wardrobe, she simply left.” Yeesha explained, panic and worry written all over her face.
“Why would she even do that? Give me the letter.” I said as I snatched the letter from Yeesha, I immediately opened it and started to read, my eyes getting more widened the more I read.
“Dear Tony,
I’ll always have a special place in my heart for you. At times, our relationship felt like it was the best thing that had ever happened to me, but lately, everything has felt wrong. It pains me to admit this, but I have to.
I’m not so sure about this wedding.
I can’t stay in a relationship where there is no love, and it isn’t fair to you to be stuck in a marriage that’s a lie. I assure you that it isn’t you, it’s me and I hope you find the very best.
Sincerely,
Lara.”
“Wait, what? What the hell!” I exclaimed, ad both Yeesha and I finally looked up from the letter we had been engrossed in.
“Is… is that for me?” A familiar masculine voice spoke and we both looked behind our shoulders inky to see Tony right behind us with teary eyes. It was so obvious that he had seen the letter too.
“She left me? Today? Of all days?” He let out and them as if he was possessed, he went to the front of the Isle, collected the microphone from the master of ceremony and then spoke into the it, “Looks like there will be no wedding today or ever.”
After saying that, he dropped the microphone abruptly causing it to make a loud thud and then proceeded to walk out of the garden while ignoring the frantic voices, panic and noises that had started due to his announcement.