BETH.
I fought the urge to scream as I watched a white girl butcher the man beneath her on the bed. She did it without remorse and got off him with a satisfied look afterwards. I almost puked at the sight of blood everywhere even though it was just a movie. How Lara was always so comfortable watching horror movies without flinching makes me sometimes conclude that she was such a witch.
“Can you just change this to some beautiful romcom or something? Why would anyone fancy watching people murder each other so gruesomely?” I finally let out while Lara huffed.
“I’m not going to watch two stupid people say the fakest and cheesiest shits about love to one another. I’d rather watch baby rhymes.” Lara said as she went back to focus on the movie.
“Yes, baby girl! Time to get the other man too! Cut him into pieces if possible!”
I was dumbfounded as she cheered the antagonist on with all her might. Lara was that one person who ends up rooting for the villains and antagonist of most movies and books. While everyone loves and cheers on the heros and main leads, Lara spites them instead. I mean how could you not like Captain America or love Thor? Who would hate Iron man and love Thanos instead? Just who?
Lara is that who!
“I still can’t believe that you let that idiot off without scratching his eyes out? The fool even had the nerve to eat the most expensive food and leave the bill for you to foot? Who does that? I swear I would have made him shit on that spot and have him eat it all up! He only did that kind of fucked up shit to you cos he knows that you’re so soft and you’d do nothing about it. The more I talk about it, the more I want to go on with that revenge plan I had planned out.” Lara blurted out with annoyance yet again.
Anyone who witnessed this would think she was the one that got dumped or cheated on.
“That’s why I keep telling you that this love blah blah is stupid. Life ain’t all roses and shit! You gotta take it by it’s horns! None of my boyfriends can try that shit with me. They dare not.”
“I just can’t believe that he’d do that. I mean, I did everything for him. Went out of my comfort to make him happy only for him to say he couldn’t marry me cos I’m white and slim? Am I supposed to cuss out God for making me this way?”
“I hope you’re not getting insecure cos of what a gorilla said about you. Imagine that one that looks like half chicken, half lizard telling a diva like you that you’re too skinny. You can be such a dense girl sometimes, you know? Couldn’t you just let him know that he’s as ugly as a buffoon? See, all these peace talks will be cancelled at the end of it all cos I see no reason why we shouldn’t go ahead with the revenge plan and crash that stupid wedding of his. I’ve even seen the wife, she’s not all that! How men leave awesome and beautiful women for something I can’t even describe still baffles me.” Lara blabs on.
“What we would not do is shame a fellow woman just because of a stupid man, girl, we aren’t like that, it’s not her fault that the idiot of a man just chose her over me. And I’m not going to crash a wedding, Lara. That’s just so unnecessary. I’ve moved past that, I’m not going to give up on love despite that. Good men will find me cos I’m a good woman and I deserve good men.”
“Blah blah blah. These men prefer bad girls these days, don’t let it shock you. They marry pretenders instead of the real ones and then start crying foul after a year. Thank God that I don’t carry all these marriage shit on my head like you do. If it comes, fine. If not, we move ahead. It’s not in the ten commandments and even if it was in it, I don’t obey most of them anyways and money is much more important than all that crap.” Lara said nonchalantly while I shook my head.
“We are twenty nine years old, Lara, soon to be thirty, don’t tell me that you don’t fancy that marriage, loving, husband and wife life? Why then are you even dating?” I questioned.
“To get my engine oiled, of course. And to get new bags, shoes and plenty money too cos these men give all of that.”
“I think you should stop all these triple dating nonsense and stick with the man you like the most. It’s unhealthy for you as a woman.” I adviced.
Lara scoffed. “Uhm, Girl, what a man can do…”
“… a woman can do better. But not in this case, you’re at the bad end. Lara, you can’t tell me that there’s not even one man… one man out of those ones you’re dating that you feel strongly for. There has to be at least one.”
“Uhm… there’s Tony, Chuks, Jerry and Tom. I like all of them equally, I don’t like partiality.” She said as she feigned the innocent girl look.
I tried to ignore the fact that she has both Tom and Jerry as boyfriends and focus on the first name she mentioned, I mean if he came to her mind first, that might be the one, right?
“Let’s talk about Tony. Do you love him?” I questioned.
Lara’s face immediately got contorted with disgust as she eyed me furiously.
“Love who! Well, he’s good looking, got that mouth watering body, and also very rich. But what also gives him an edge over my other boyfriends is his great skills in bed. Beth, that guy can fuck! He’d practically make you scream his name over and over as he gives you great orgasms. It’s like a God given talent of his.” Lara zoned out.
I was honestly disappointed. These qualities she mentioned about him were just physical, no deep stuffs. Lara was really immune to love.
“I actually expected you to say some deep stuffs about him. Like how he touches you? Do you feel butterflies whenever he stares at you? Does he make love to you passionately? Does he ask about your future plans? Is he interested in other areas of you asides sex?… Can you…”
“Beth, please, shut up! Everything you’re saying is giving me headache. It’s not only butterflies, it’s cockroaches. And who’s making love to who? We FUCK! F-U-C-K. And what you’re saying right now is why he’s actually about to be canceled in my books. He’s too emotional and the fool is acting like he’s in love with me. That guy can buy me mars if I wanted. I’m planning on breaking up with him next month cos I don’t have time for nonsense.” Lara dismissed angrily and focused on her horror movie.
I simply stared at her as I zoned out. This life was indeed just one unfair entity. The one who hates love gets it on a platter of gold while the other who craves for it gets starved of it.
Imbalanced.
My phone suddenly started ringing and I fought the urge to roll my eyes when I saw the caller ID.
“Yes mum.” I greeted feigning enthusiasm.
“LIZZY, YOUR FATHER’S WIFE LITERALLY WANTS TO KILL ME! She acts as if I’m responsible for her husband’s inability to keep his thing in his pants…” My mom’s loud and strained voice caused me to sigh and stand up on my feet reluctantly. Without hearing the rest of the story, I hung up the call.
“Let me guess, is that your mom again? Having a fight with your father’s wife as usual?” Lara chipped in while I nodded.
“I didn’t ask for any of this! Why would she sign up to be his mistress forever and make me go through all of this? Being called an illegitimate child is hard enough, yet she keeps steering up issues.”
My phone rang again and I reluctantly picked it up, “When will you be here to at least witness my gruesome murder so as to get justice for me in court?” My mom exaggerated as usual while I quickly bade goodbye to Lara and stepped out of the apartment.