There are many things to appreciate about human food, she thought. Maybe in the future, I might go to the human society and find an ordinary human, preferably a tall and handsome chef. I wouldn’t have to consider Florence’s concerns about leaving descendants for our race’s future. I could live like a human, they have a method called DINK-Dual Income, No Kids, meaning not having children. I wouldn’t have children. I want to live happily for the rest of my life. Even if it’s ordinary, what’s wrong with that?
Everyone has to accept their own mediocrity.
Now, she and May walked into that cafeteria together, thinking, I’m willing to accept my mediocrity and have decided to start loving myself seriously, just like Florence said, it’s only when you start loving yourself that life truly begins.
Right now, she only needs to accept everything and live each day well. She can take a picture to upload to Instagram later, to make Florence envious, and maybe even bring her and Jeff to eat there sometime.
May had a look of complete mastery. Alpha certainly wouldn’t bother instructing her specifically to bring Emma to try different cuisines. He was very busy and not interested in food. But he did mention that Emma had an undeniable desire for food.
It was unexpected that the sixteen-year-old girl was so easily fooled; a German-style pork knuckle was enough to make her willingly fall into the trap.
May watched Emma wolf down the food on her plate with her chin propped in her hand.
“You really do make people hungry when you eat,” she said with a smile.
Emma paused in her chewing, looking around hesitantly. The surrounding area was filled with students eating, playing with their phones, and chatting with friends; no one was paying attention in their direction. She turned back to May and said, “Is my way of eating drawing too much attention?”
She never had the chance to receive etiquette training, so she didn’t know how to eat properly.
Florence once told her that she didn’t pay attention to her image while eating. At that time, she had no need to manage her image, so even when Florence scolded her, saying eating too fast could cause stomach pressure, she still gobbled down her food. But now she was not at the Blue Halo Pack; she was eating someone else’s food using someone else’s resources, so she had to be more mindful.
May shook her head, “You’re adorable. When you eat, you’re so focused, one can feel that you’re savoring the food with care. Chefs must really like customers like you.”
Emma breathed a sigh of relief, “I’ve been criticized for my bad table manners before, I know.”
She felt a bit embarrassed, “But I grew up hungry, rarely getting to eat good food. For a long time, I was caught in a situation where I couldn’t eat my fill, so when I saw anything, I’d want to taste it. Maybe it’s also a psychological influence. Sometimes, even when I’m physically full, I still feel hungry mentally and want to keep eating.”
May had heard some explanations about this. Desires not fulfilled in infancy might lead to an even stronger craving for compensation in adulthood, psychologists seemed to describe this behavior pattern as an oral stage. Some people excessively drink, smoke, or can’t stop craving food until their bodies completely break down. Some can’t stop this almost self-destructive behavior even when their bodies are collapsing.
She felt even more sympathetic toward this girl.
“You can now let go of some of this anxiety. Here, we have plenty of food, and you don’t need to spend a lot of money to eat well. But there’s no need to be anxious to let go of it either; the oral stage is not a short-term thing. It’s another form of expression of desires accumulated over many years. If you need it, the school also has a counseling room, free of charge, and the feedback seems to be quite good.”
Emma nodded and then buried her head to continue eating the remaining food.
May looked at her, suddenly thinking of something interesting.
“You and our Alpha seem to be two extremes on the same scale.”
Emma looked at her blankly, “What do you mean?”
“Alpha has a kind of resistance to food. Although we don’t know the source of this resistance, every time he eats, it’s not a pleasure for him. Even though some people think of food only as sustenance, they still wouldn’t resist it like Alpha. March once saw him look at food with difficulty, and finally swallow it with some pain.”
Emma was surprised, “Your food is delicious, why would he be like this?”
Many people guessed that Patrick had a self-loathing emotion, at that time he seemed to always be going through changes. Immense psychological pressure could lead to severe anorexia.
“No one truly understands Alpha’s inner self, not even thelady. Since losing her second child, she has become extremely despondent, no longer caring about anyone around her, including Alpha. During that time, only Alpha, who was still a child, was constantly trying to take care of her and keep her company. We never heard him complain about anything.”
Emma listened attentively.
“Gradually, the lady finally seemed willing to leave the house, her face no longer eternally sad, and she could slowly start to smile. We watched as the lady’s face gradually became fuller and rosier. At that time, Alpha, who is now Alpha’s biological father, was also very happy. Everyone was happy to see the lady coming out of her sorrow. We all had a peaceful time.”
But soon after, they were plunged into that war. The Silver Moon Pack narrowly won, gaining land and spoils, but lost their leader. At just fifteen years old, Patrick was forced to shoulder the responsibility of the entire family, taking over the authority from his father and leading the pack into a new future.
“After losing his father, Alpha truly lost all expression. Although March and I didn’t play with him much, we used to play and have fun together here, but since then, Alpha became like a statue. In his eyes and expression, there was only unrelenting pain and struggle. He was no longer lively, as if he had died.”
Emma found it unbelievable; the Patrick she had seen was completely different from the one May was describing.
“How could this be?”
“Not long after, the lady found her current partner, your father. Nelson isn’t a wolf, and their union was opposed by everyone, but only Alpha did not object. Because of Alpha’s silence, in the end, everyone compromised and allowed the lady to be with Nelson. But I think he doesn’t like Nelson.”
Emma thought to herself, “No wonder, I don’t like Nelson either.”
“His bond with his father was very deep. The former Alpha was not only a qualified Alpha but also a qualified partner and father. But for the lady, Alpha disregarded his own emotions and chose to make his mother happy. No one knew his pain. After the previous Alpha’s death, the lady sank into grief and had no energy to comfort her own fifteen-year-old son.”
Emma stared blankly at the remnants of food on her plate, thinking, he also lost his beloved father at fifteen.
“I think now, of all the people around him, only you can understand his feelings.”