37

Bobby
I’m a Manghini. I like to think I have balls of steel. But this week is fucking killing me.
I haven’t been able to see or talk to Lexi at all. I stopped by Stylz, but the girl at the front desk tells me she no longer works there.
I tried her number, but she blocked me.
I stopped by Swank to talk to her friend, Gina, but she wouldn’t tell me where to find Lexi. She wouldn’t even give her a message for me. She said Lexie was trying to make a clean break and didn’t want me to come after her.
I think that part killed me most of all. Sometimes a woman breaks things off to make a point. Because she wants to be wooed back. Or won back.
But not Lexi. She’s not trying to punish me. She’s trying to move on.
I’m gutted.
I keep going over and over in my mind where things went wrong. How things went wrong. It couldn’t have just been not inviting her to a wedding, could it? Is that a reason to end a good thing?
Of course, I know it goes far deeper than that. That represented something to her. Same as me not taking her phone call when she called me at the office. I showed her that she doesn’t matter.
Damn it!
I stay at the office until midnight every night telling myself I’m managing the situation with the feds and the IRS. But really I’m just trying to distract myself.
On the fifth night, I come home at midnight and pick up a slice of the cold pizza from the box the girls left on the counter. I plunk down at the table to eat it over the box.
I want to be alone. I definitely don’t want to talk this over with anyone. Especially not my daughters.
But of course, this is the week where I don’t get anything I want.
“Hey, Dad.” Janine appears in the doorway. “We haven’t seen you all week.”
“Yeah. Been tied up. Where’s your sister?”
“On a date.”
When I don’t respond, her brow wrinkles, and she comes to sit at the table with me. “Is everything okay?”
“No, baby. Not really.”
“Anything I should be worried about?” There’s a quietness in her voice that tells me she knows I’m in a dangerous business. That we belong to the La Torre family. That not everything in my business is legit or safe.
“No. I’m under investigation, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. No, I’m actually nursing a bit of a broken heart.”
Juliana’s jaw drops. I’m sure it surprises her to hear me admit any form of vulnerability. It’s not my style. I also just admitted to her and to myself that I loved Lexi. Love. Present tense. It’s not over yet.
“What happened?”
“Well, it seems my busy-body daughters paid Lexi a visit.”
Juliana’s eyes round. “But-I don’t understand.”
“Yeah, me neither, really. I didn’t invite her to that wedding, and I think it was the nail in my coffin.”
“Oh my God, see? I told you, Dad. You should have invited her.”
“Not helping.”
“Right, right. I’m sorry. So…does she feel like she wasn’t important to you?”
“Yeah, I guess. Something like that.”
“Well, what are you going to do?
“I don’t know,” I say heavily.
“It seems to me that she’s worth fighting for. I mean, I’ve never seen you like this before over a woman.”
I’ve never felt this way about a woman before. Not even my ex.
Fighting for Lexi would mean changing what we are. Were. Lexi wants more from me. Maybe a traditional relationship.
I liked to play sugar daddy because I enjoyed having the power over her-loved having her beholden to me. Without that power dynamic, would I feel the same about her? No. Not really. I don’t want a vanilla girlfriend and vanilla sex. I don’t want another boring wife I never come home to.
Except Lexi would never be that.
Even without the sugar daddy arrangement, Lexi was the yin to my yang. She liked it the way I wanted to give it. She submitted when I dominated-not for my money, not for the apartment. No, she submitted because it turned her on. Just as much as it drove me crazy to demand her submission.
I blink with the realization. Maybe if I’d explained things in this light, she would have understood.
“You have to show her how much she means to you,” Janine advises. “Maybe you should propose or … something.”
“Lexi won’t even take my calls or see me. I don’t think she’s open to a proposal.”
“Well, I’m just saying you should go get her back. Do whatever it takes.”
I stand up. Swank is still open, which means Lexi’s best friend Gina should be around. I tried with her before, but I’ll have to try harder. She knows where my girl is, and I need to get her back.
I sit at the bar and wait for Gina who had been promoted to working behind the bar instead of cocktail waitressing. Rather than come over, she sends one of the cocktail waitresses over to me with a Glen Livit, studiously avoiding my looks when I try to catch her eye.
I don’t care if I have to wait all night. The aggressive frustration I had the last time I tried to talk to her is now replaced by calm determination. I need to find Lexi, and Gina knows where she is. I’ll figure out the right words to say to get her to open up.
It’s a sign of how loyal she is to her friend that she ignores me for an hour and a half, willing to put an end to my big tips. Willing to piss me off in an establishment where I pretty much rule the roost.
Finally, she makes the mistake of glancing at me, and I catch her gaze and motion her over. Her lips thin, but she comes over. “Another drink, Mr. Manghini?” she asks politely.
“Gina, hear me out. I fucked up with Lexi. I didn’t mean to hurt her, but I did.”
Some of Gina’s prickliness disappears. She’s paying attention. That’s the most I can ask for at this point.
“I would do anything and everything to make it up to her. I love her.”
That softens Gina completely. Her expression softens, and the stiffness leaves her chest.
“I think you know she cares about me, too. I’ll do whatever it takes to get her back-make whatever changes she wants. I know she told you not to tell me how to find her, but I am begging for your help right now. I can make her happy. And I won’t hurt her again. You have my word on that.”
Gina’s green eyes scan my face, warily. Then she shakes her head. “I can’t.” She pushes back from the bar.
“Wait!” I cover her hand with mine. “Please. Just give me a hint. Anything-I have to find her.”
Gina looks around the bar as if searching for the correct answer.
“Please, Gina. Do it for Lexi. I can make her happy. I’ll marry her if she wants. I would never hurt her. And if she hears me out and still wants nothing to do with me, I promise I’ll walk away and never bother either one of you again.”
I can see Gina crumbling.
“I know you want what’s best for her. That’s all I want, too. Even if that means a life without me. I just need to explain myself to her. Will you give me that chance? To try to make amends?”
“She said you’d be persuasive.” Gina still gazes past me, into the throng of people.
“If you don’t want to tell me where she’s living, call her and ask her to come down here. You can have your bouncers kick me out if she’s uncomfortable.”
Gina shakes her head. “She’s not afraid of you. She just doesn’t want to take you back.”
“I think she does,” I counter softly.
Gina meets my eye. She purses her lips. “Maybe you’re right,” she agrees.
I hold my breath.
She sighs. “She’s in Las Vegas,” she says. “She started that new job, and they sent her there to observe a workshop.”
“Where in Las Vegas?” I will get on a plane tonight. I don’t give a shit about the Feds or the IRS or any of it. The only thing that matters is seeing Lexi. Making her see what she means to me.
Gina shakes her head. “I don’t know where she’s saying in Vegas, but she flies back tomorrow morning. She’s staying with me until she finds a place to live.”
I don’t want to wait until tomorrow, but I’m also not going to make any more demands when I just got Gina to soften. I hand her my phone. “Text me your address? I’ll be respectful. I promise.”
She nibbles her lip for a moment then takes my phone and enters her address in a text. “I sent it to myself, so you have my number. Text first, okay?”
I slide a hundred dollar bill across the bar. I’m not paying her for the information, but she definitely deserves a tip now. “Thank you.”
As I walk out, my hands tighten into fists of determination. Lexi comes back tomorrow. One more day, and I’ll see her again.
Hold her again, as if there is a God.
I need to figure out what I can do to prove she meant everything to me.