Stella stared at Jasper, her eyes deep and distant.
She lowered her head and ate.
“What’s the matter?” he asked in confusion.
“When the child was born, I was not able to see him clearly, so I’m not sure who he looked like. But he had really fair skin, his eyelashes were long, and his mouth was small. He had double eyelids too.” Stella finally smiled when she talked about the child.
He stared at her. “How did the child die?”
“I don’t know. When I gave birth to him, he was taken away by a group of people. I don’t know who they were, and I couldn’t find out either. I have been looking for him for more than five years. I’ve hit a dead end. But if he is still alive, he should be five years old,” Stella said sadly.
There was hope in Jasper’s eyes. “So, you’re not sure whether he’s dead or not?”
Stella stopped talking, lowered her head, and kept eating.
“Could it be that your ex-husband did it?” Jasper guessed.
“That’s impossible. He didn’t know that I didn’t abort the baby. He didn’t even know the baby existed. I only asked him to find the baby later. He has been looking for him for more than three years, but to no avail,” Stella said with certainty.
Jasper frowned. “Nonsense, that child is not his. What’s the point of asking him for help?”
“Then you should find him. If you find him, I will marry you,” Stella said casually. She took a deep breath and regretted what she said. “I’m kidding.”
Jasper’s eyes dimmed. “Let’s eat first.”
Jasper’s cell phone rang, it was Bettany Hadley. He rejected the call.
The phone rang again. Still Bettany.
“Answer it. I’ll go with you to see her later,” Stella said calmly.
“She’s not in a good state.”
Stella smiled. “Fine, I won’t go then.”
“I didn’t mean that.” He hesitated and looked at her.
“Are you afraid that I will hurt her?” Stella guessed.
“She is very unstable and gets frightened very easily. She might also hurt others. It’s better if you don’t go there for the time being,” he explained.
Stella smiled.
He was still afraid that she would hurt Bettany.
She had tried to help him. It wasn’t her fault that he thought she had ill intentions.
“You should go now, it would be bad if she hurts someone,” Stella said with a smile.
“I’ll be back later,” Jasper promised.
She kept her head down and ate.
She watched him leave from the corner of her eye.
If this was how her marriage would be like, if her husband would leave the dinner table or even their bed for another woman, it would be better if she left him.
Just three months, it’ll be over soon.
Even knowing that, she still felt uncomfortable and unhappy.
She wanted to call Eli, but she had been working through the day. It was already late and she still had work tomorrow, so Eli must be asleep by now. In the end, Stella didn’t call her.
She went out of the military region, called a car, and went to the nearest KTV. She booked a private room where she could be alone. And then she sang.
She sang all the old songs that she knew. ‘Happy Breakup’, ‘I’ve Been Quiet’, ‘Falling Rain’, and even ‘Orbiting’.
“How can I hide my sorrows, to the place where I lost you… Even when I close my eyes, I can still see you leaving… I am stunned, I’ll forget about you, I’m waiting for the day, when someone will replace you… The tears in my heart have blurred the world…” She sang and cried until there were no tears left and she could no longer sing. She lowered her head and clenched her fists, her shoulders trembling.
The door was pushed open.
Stella looked up warily.
Frederick Addington entered. “I know you’re alone, I’ve always been alone too. Let me accompany you.”
Stella cried even more desperately. She didn’t think about anything else, she just wanted to cry for a while. She was afraid that she might think too much, and her thinking would become chaotic once more.
Frederick sat next to her and put his hand on her shoulder.
Stella pushed him away. “Even if I’m sad, anxious or desperate, I will never be together with you.”
Tears flowed down Frederick’s left eye, slightly shocking Stella.
“I’m not trying to spark something with you. I just want to give you the warmth that I can offer.”
Stella was agitated. “Do you think your warmth is what I want?”
“Whether you want it or not is your business. But whether I want to give it to you is my business. Stella, do you know the real reason why I didn’t touch you for three years even after we got married?”
Stella turned her face away. Her tears blocked her sight. She wiped them away coldly, but they kept flowing.
“It’s because your father is my enemy, he killed my father. I knew that one day, my vengeance will burn you. I have liked you ever since I first saw you. Because I liked you too much, I dared not get close to you. I was afraid that I would destroy my own persistence. But in the end, I still ruined my plan for vengeance. I am willing to give up everything for you.”
“Frederick.” She raised her voice. “Do you think that those years have faded from my memory? Do you think that I’ve forgotten about the pain I felt when I was with you?!
You hurt me, you betrayed me with other women. This is the truth. The truth that almost got me killed. I’m not smart, but I won’t forget.”
“That was because I tried to fuel my hatred towards you. I’m sorry, Stella. I won’t do it again in the future. I’ve been punished. When I saw you cry, I felt pain. When I saw that you tried to kill yourself, my heart stopped beating too. I love you. I love you very much. I really, really, really, love you,” Frederick said anxiously.
“Well, you love me very much, right?” Stella took out a fruit knife from her bag and threw it in front of him.
“Cut off your private part, and I will stay with you and accompany you for the rest of my life. I’d never wanted sex, I only want sincere companionship. Can you do it?” Stella prompted impulsively.
“Okay, if that’s what you want.” Frederick picked up his knife and reached for his lower abdomen.
Stella closed her eyes and blocked his hand.
The sharp knife penetrated her arm.
“Stella,” Frederick said guiltily.
Stella smiled, tears streaming down her red and swollen eyes. “I’m crazy again. Frederick, I’m just like my mother, I have a mental illness.”
Frederick looked at Stella in surprise.
Tears flowed down her pale face.
“I’ll take you to the hospital,” Frederick said with distress.
“I want to leave. My illness is not cured yet. I want to go back to the United States,” Stella cried.
“Okay, you can go anywhere you want. I’ll accompany you, even if it’s to hell, I’ll go with you.” Frederick pressed the wound on Stella’s arm tightly, staining his palm with blood.
Stella stood up in a daze, then everything went black.
She didn’t even hear the ringtone of her mobile phone in her bag…